That's Your Boyfriend: This Fucking Guy
Monster your boyfriend right here. Your boyfriend all over the place. What your boyfriend (and make no mistake, this guy is YOUR BOYFRIEND) says is NSFW, so headphones UP.
It's OK to propose to a guy, right? We're at that point, culturally. Go for it. When you go to pick him up from Logic Class at the University of Misogyny, just get down one one knee and you ask him to please make your vagina hurt for the rest of your life, the way God intended. Promise him that you won't enjoy it at all. Then call up your parents and apologize. (Via HolyTaco.)
Posted by Gabe at 2:30 PM in That's Your Boyfriend
Tags: Netherlands | NSFW | Sex
::dumbfounded::
Score = 12
you have got to be fucking kidding me. my jaw is on the floor.
Score = 12
you know, i have a rule that i will never, ever have sex with a man who cannot pronounce things like "vagina" or "vaginal" correctly. the rule has served me well over the years.
Score = 50
Haha I thought you wrote " 'vagina' or 'vagina!' ". Inflection matters!
Score = 28
you are currect. really, i ONLY sleep with men who say "VAGINA!", because hey, enthusiasm usually leads to better sex!
Score = 23
clearly if god had wanted butt sex to be a thing he would have made lubey anals.
CLEARLY.
it just makes sense, you guys.
because, you know, because of how god cares about our anals.
Score = 42
Your boyfriend likes to whisper "I'm going to wage jihad on your vagina" in your ear, doesn't he?
Score = 23
Listen guys. Clearly he knows what he's talking about:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaZBSZ0xbfk
A true master of any and all things sexual.
Score = 5
I would argue that that video is infinitely better than the one posted here. A freaking strainer as a condom? I think someone was home-schooled. "So that's an ejaculation... that's enough."
Score = 5
He's a motherfucking SCIENTIST!
This guy. Whether it's intentional or not, he is such a fucking joke.
Score = 0
"A vagina full of AIDS! Do you want a vagina full of AIDS?!" I'm still laughing.
Score = 5
Fagina. It's fagina.
Score = 7
No, it's fajita. He's just reading Spanish phonetically. No fajitas! (Bonus 5 Videogum points for me)
Score = -6
No, no, no, this is even better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FsBebIJqr4
"I-want-to-put-my-penis-into-an-anus-I-want-tu-put-my-penis-into-an-anus!"
I believe him because he says all that information is scientific, so it must to be true, right?
Score = 2
.... so basically this guy was the victim of SURPRISE BUTT SECKS at some point or another.
Score = 7
This guy is only your boyfriend if you're a dude.
Score = 24
Dude just needs to be topped appropriately for the first time. With a penis that's God-given-naturally as hard as a steel spoon handle.
Score = 18
i dont see the problem here. the guy is right. it really is hard to pentrate vegetables with your penis. but then it gets easier. cause its wet inside.
Score = 77
No words
Score = 2
No. Bring back Nosferatu.
Score = 28
could we be overlooking the fact that this guy is clearly a high functioning retard? i mean... he's got the speech impediment.
Score = 8
That's especially funny because early-90s Patrick Swayze would totally say that.
Score = 26
Looks like someone's never heard of A55 M1LK.
Score = 4
I feel like I've met this guy at a bar somewhere in Barcelona and I only humored his wild and crazy ideas because, "Hey! I'm in Barcelona!". His video isn't as charming as it was in a foreign country.
Score = 6
If women enjoy the sex, it's nice? It's not necessary? Believe me when I say, good sir, that my enjoyment is necessary.
Score = 36
It's satire guys. Good, almost subliminal, satire.
Trust me. I did some research before he got more popular and he listed it as "Comedy"
Score = -3
Score = 4
hmm. that's never happened before.
there was definitely text there...
where did my text go? is this text going to go, too? am i going to be the person that posts two empty posts in a row? will that constitutes some sort of statement or some sort of asshole?
Score = 16
I looked at some more of his videos, and you're definitely right. Give this man a TV show.
Score = -1
Sexman - personality = this guy.
Score = 6
There is no spoon.
Score = 10
This has to be a joke right? Please??
Score = 1
It is. Look at his other videos on youtube, it's a parody of crazy dumb fundamentalists.
Score = -2
Aren't parodies supposed to be sort of... transparent? Right? Like maybe it's just because this dude lives in a liberal haven that he's able to see this sort of rhetoric as absurd, but I live in "real America" and regardless of how much he claims his videos to be satirical, people here would pretty much canonize this dude. If they were filthy Catholics, that is.
Score = 3
if God uses pain to indicate sin, then what about massages? what about those?
Score = 5
And the whole birthing babies thing.
Score = 19
Birthing babies inflicts pain ONLY on the va-gyne-al area, so it's ok.
Score = 0
I love that his argument is eventually just summed up as "...and thats not natural"
I've heard that argument before sans spoon-tomato penetration- have to say it didn't really add anything to the discussion besides a little :(
Score = 2
nice that he loses his train of thought as he's staring into the hole his forced spoon entry left in the fruit....
keep this assroach away from the public.
Score = 2
so this guy is clearly an andy kauffman of the post bush era, right? like this can't be real.
Score = 1
This is beyond your boyfriend, that's your husband.
Score = 29
So, I was pretty much in a state of shock and awe at his terrible logic, but the orange and the spoon (?) just made me giggle uproariously.
Score = 2
I don't want this! I DON'T WANT THIS! Peanut butter! Ah, peanut butter! AH, PEANUT BUTTER!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1CLG4R2L8k
Score = 1
"Having a vagina full of AIDS is not funny." Wow, learn something new everyday.
Score = 4
I'm sure this guy is joking now. I mean, the video description? And the obliviousness? It's just making me laugh too hard to not be a joke. The "scientific" demonstrations? I mean, come on.
Score = 1
And that's just spoon-wise...
Score = 3
I'm hopping on the joke train
Score = 1
i officially cannot ever have sex again -- vaginal or otherwise. (nice pronounciation, btw.)
Score = 0
Man. I'm so horny for some lubed up butt sex.
Score = 3
it's already been said, but just to reemphasize, yes this is satire. he is not serious. do not try to deconstruct his arguments, because then you will be a fool. an INTERNET FOOL and everyone in real life will laugh at you!
he's kind of cute. i'd date him.
Score = -1
I don't know if I'd date him, but I might let him thrust his spoon into my orange.
Score = 25
But... he has long hair....
WHERE IS YOUR POLO SHIRT AND PLEATED KHAKI PANTS YOUNG MAN! AND YOUR HAIR GEL?
Score = 2
Well, his youtube channel page says "This channel is satirical. I don't mean what I say." So I guess that settles that.
His argument against atheism is funnier than this. So is "Why Jesus is the best friend you'll ever have and has nothing to do with sex."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l238xIXfq-4&feature=channel_page
Score = 5
yep. 50 comments. sounds about right for our collective boyfriend :)
and it's a good thing i needed someone to tell me how to have sex with a vagina today. (it's by making holes, people!)
Score = 3
It's satirical. And amazing.
Score = 1
What is that in your picture? It's freaking me the fuck out.
Score = 2
It's the puppet from Interpol's music video for Evil
Score = -1
this is :(
and i'm pretty sure the reason why he's so convinced that shoving a piece of metal through the skin of fruit is like sex is because he has never had access to a real vagina, ever.
Score = 1
Knowing it's a joke ruined it for me.
Score = 5
Ever since it was revealed as a joke, reading the comments taking it seriously is kind of sad and funny on its own.
Don't you all have half-an-hour to comb through every comment? Geez.
Score = 0
What is that in your picture? It's freaking me the fuck out.
Score = 1
why does the "reply" button always make me look retarded?
Score = 3
If you preview your comment, it unchecks the reply button. You have to recheck it and then submit your comment if you don't want to look like an off-topic dick. Happened to me so many times before I figured out the problem.
Also, side-note, why is the word 'Videogum' registering as a misspelling?
GODS OF VIDEOGUM, FIX THESE ISSUES
Score = 6
Obvs joke. *facepalm*
Score = -2
is it weird that i thought it was probably a joke just because he has long hair? and a dude with long hair wouldn't really believe any of that?
Score = 3
my boyfriend's research for his combined senior thesis in religion and communication is going really well.
Score = 2
So.. I'm to believe that a vagina is a flat surface that a penis needs to violently stab in order to create a wet cavity in which to have, as the kids say, "the sex"?
Score = 2
He ended a sentence with "see." That makes me feel that he is going to sell me snake oil out the wagon he drives from town to town or a newspaper from the 1920's. Icky.
I'm going to assume this is a parody b/c I have to.
Score = 1