This is a controversial That's Your Boyfriend, because it can be argued that the fact that this guy is demonstrating a comical male masturbation machine at some sort of ridiculous sex machine convention (Comic Con?) is proof that he doesn't have a partner, but I like to think that you just let this machine do all the work and take his money, because you're a gold digger. Not safe for work:
If he invented that machine and it somehow works, I'm sure he's able to take you out to very nice no-strings-attached dinners. (Via Gorillamask.)
Via Best Week Ever, who call it a "New Jersey Guido mating dance," a guy in an unforgivable outfit and a girl in a bikini are caught on tape engaging in some sort of flirtatious dance-off in some sort of strange gym. He's your boyfriend:
The best part is the soundtrack of the filmmakers laughing at them. This was probably taken in 1994 and just sat on someone's shelf until YouTube finally existed.
President Bush was giving a speech on the 4th of July (which, as he noted earlier in the speech, is part of his birthday weekend -- who knew Dubya was one of those birthday week chicks? Where's his tiara?) when he was ambushed by a group of hecklers planted in the crowd. It's always funny when a crowd boos and they're trying to boo the heckler but instead it looks like they're booing the person on stage:
Heidi Fleiss, is that you? I want to be one of those people for Halloween.
When the infamous "puppy cleaning monitor" site went viral, it was only a matter of time before a heavy-set hipster left his kickball game at McCarren Park early to rush home and make his own version of this disgusting meme. That happened last week when kissingwithross.com went live. Now, our friend Alex Blagg at BWE, who looks a little too much like the aforementioned Ross (his Rosselgänger if you will), has made his own screen-licking video, entitled "How Not to Kiss":
If you'd like to see the video in full-screen just put a gun in your mouth and click the trigger.
It's been a while since we've seen Your Boyfriend, but he turned up at a McCain rally last week, where he worked the former POW presidential candidate's last nerve and almost got mauled by the crowd when he refused to stop mumbling and just ask a question already:
Your Boyfriend seems to have some issues. Have you tried eHarmony.com?
After the Real Housewives of New York reunion episode redefined what a reunion episode could be, it's hard not to watch what is generally considered the saddest of sadnesses. Getting the contestants back together to pull each other's weaves out is usually just a sad attempt by the network to eke one final hour of advertising dollars out of a show that has painfully run its course. But seriously, Real Housewives nailed it in a way that didn't seem possible, so now I have to watch all this shit in the hopes that lightning will strike Alex McCord in the stupid face twice. (I guess I'm just hoping that every reunion episode features Alex McCord. She's the best (worst).)
So last night's Flavor of Love reunion promised to try and up the ante with a surprise wedding proposal. Meh. I'm pretty sure we don't need to viking-coronate Flavor Flav for proposing to the bedraggled mother of his child after THREE SEASONS of throwing this show in her face. What a hero! That guy is making the rest of us look bad (great). Oh man, and if you thought that the girls on this show seemed like Class A Morons with the papers to prove it, you should see them WITHOUT the benefit of a cruel production team hired to make them look like fools. It turns out Animaniacs sound effects and copious amounts of free liquor make them look LIKE THEY WENT TO COLLEGE and MAJORED IN INTELLIGENCE compared to when they have to get up on stage and deliver complete sentences on their own without the benefit of an underpaid editor splicing their shit together.
But what really surprised me was getting a glimpse at just who the "fans" of this show are.
I found another online video of your boyfriend! He's Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst, and he has a two-episode role as a bartender who stares into the middle distance on House:
It's not too late for FOX to nominate Fred for an outstanding guest star Emmy.
Gabe just told me that if I post this, he will quit. So I have to post this. I don't even know what's supposed to be happening here, but despite the title "Longest Penis Ever: (Guinness World Records)," this random clip of a guy, like, jerking off his arm and screaming at the camera that I just found on YouTube is, if you have headphones, actually safe for work:
I don't know what Gabe is talking about, it's impossible to watch without laughing, and I challenge anyone to find a better Ultimate Example of a bad vlog.
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