Huh? I don't know! Although I will say this: whoever made this video deserves to date whoever they want. As long as they don't murder and eat them afterward! I also appreciate that they used as broad of a definition of "President" as possible to also include Prime Ministers, Secretaries of State, egomaniacal dictators, and Popes. In this modern day of blurry gender roles and self-determined sexuality, it's important not to impose our value judgments on president-sexuals. They want the same things we want: love, security, and to be dating someone that respects them for who they are while simultaneously being either a President, or very close to a President, depending on a country's chosen (or imposed) form of government. Preferably one with a big MANDATE! (No politico.)
I'm sure that his sensitivity has opened him up to you emotionally and sexually in ways that you've never experienced with your previous lovers. But he needs to grow a pair if he's ever going to GET THAT MONEY. Who is going to pay for your fancy dates? Waiter, we are going to need another Tiramisu, this one is soaked with (his) tears!
Have you ever barfed so much that you couldn't barf anymore and you're just kneeling there over the toilet drawing up thin strands of hot, yellow bile, FROM YOUR EYES?
Somehow this is worse than blackface. I'm disappointed in you. For dating and loving and constantly having athletic sex with this man.
[Ed. note: due to a Netflix Error, the Hunt is postponed for a week. Boo hoo, I'm sure. We're all devastated.]
On a day like today, with Couples Retreat making headlines as the number one movie in the country and reminding us that there's nothing America loves better than Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau organizing a paid vacation to the Bahamas for themselves, it is hard to remember that there are even things to like in this world. Everything is so hatable! Jon Gosselin is claiming that he's half-Jewish? Shut up, Jon Gosselin. Shut your mouth. Roland Emmerich is making a movie about Shakespeare? Alas, poor Yorick! He blew his brains out, Horatio. So when you do find something that you like, HOLD ON TO THAT THING. Grip it tight, Of Mice and Men style, and try not to crush it in your soft-brained hands, but hug it and love it and keep it forever.
Today, we have two classic entries in this on-going search for elusive Human Happiness:
You have had a lot of lovers in your life (yuck, you should stop calling them "lovers," do you realize that everyone hates how you always call them "lovers"?). What most of your friends would say to someone who does not know you is, "Denise doesn't really have a type, she's just a people person." Btw, your name is Denise, and you are a people person. Your philosophy is that everyone is a complex human being with multiple sides to their personality, and it would be unfair to dismiss them before you had a chance to really get to know them (sexually). And you certainly can't reduce who they are to a single-sentence description, although if you COULD, "I'm a 25-year subscriber to Playboy and New Yorker magazines" would be a pretty good start. (Thanks for the tip, Mark.)
Like um like um like um like um like um you love him and like um like um he is your boyfriend and like um like um like um like um like um like um you are probably going to get married and like um like um like um like um like um like um live in a pre-fab mcmansion in Alpine, New Jersey and like um like um like um like um have three like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um kids and admittedly like um like um you might end up getting divorced like um like um you're just aware of the statistics like um like um like um like um but like um like um but like um but like um but like um but like um but like but like um life is nothing without a little like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um like um risk. (Via BuzzFeed.)
The Terminator trudged along the wooded path towards the lake, his gun dangling by his side, the taunts still ringing in his hypersensitive bionic ears. He stared at the ground as he walked, and didn't even bother scanning anything with...
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
Do you ever eat foods that you know you don't like, just to remind yourself why you don't like them? I think that's a good thing to do sometimes! The worst case scenario is that you might momentarily have a...
Last weekend, something strange happened. Some of the Videogum Monsters created their own secret, password-protected chat room. In 2009! Incredible! I suppose every monster has his cave, or whatever. As it turned out, though, we already had a Videogum Chat...
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.
The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
I went to see Where the Wild Things Are on Saturday, but it was sold out. Ay-ay-ay. That was a surprise! I mean, anticipation for this movie seemed pretty high, but anticipation for lots of movies seems high, especially when...
