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September 29, 2009

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Kristin Cavallari Is Not Larry David

thumbnail icon: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Kristin Cavallari Is Not Larry David

The MTV show The Hills is fake. Everyone knows that. But up until recently, it was mostly a poorly kept secret. For the sake of the show's razor-thin watchability, the pretense of reality was maintained. But with the new season premiere tonight, apparently a new tactic is being taken: bold but delusional honesty. Here is the show's new star, Kristin Cavallari, talking about how the sausage is made (via WarmingGlow):

The ["Hills"] producers write to [Cavallari] with the storylines they have in mind. She shows up to the pre-selected locations for the episodes, which are shot Wednesday through Friday each week. And then she improvises, often going for the jugular on hot-button issues she knows will stir up controversy.

"They tell us what to talk about," she said, shrugging. "Listen, I have fun with it. They film 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' the same way."

"THEY FILM CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM THE SAME WAY."
--Larry David's Tombstone

Yikes. Although, she has a point, they're basically exactly the same show. Remember that one episode of The Hills when Brody Jenner asked Richard Lewis to trade sandwiches with him when he didn't like the sandwich that was named after him at the Jewish deli? Classic The Hills. And then there is this famous episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which, although it does not feature Kristin Cavallari, is based on Kristin Cavallari:

The size of Kristin Cavallari's vagina is inversely related to the size of her conception of her own talent. (Math is hard, but math is true.)

Posted by Gabe at 4:45 PM in
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17 Comments

So you are saying that she has a tiny vagina?

Posted by: DZ-015 profile link at 09/29/09 4:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

No, No, huge dick.

Posted by: DS3M profile link  in reply to  DZ-015's comment at 09/29/09 5:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 19 Vote up Vote down

I upvoted you both, but DS3M wins this round.

Posted by: oh. profile link  in reply to  DS3M's comment at 09/29/09 5:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Thanks for all the publicity, Leno!

Posted by: The Editor of Duh Aficionado Magazine at 09/29/09 5:07 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

lolololololololol! See, this is why we shouldn't block people with double users. We miss out on this stuff.

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link  in reply to  The Editor of Duh Aficionado Magazine 's comment at 09/29/09 5:15 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

I'm willing to accept that The Hills is the uncircumcised equivalent of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Posted by: Lord Growing profile link at 09/29/09 5:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I wish I had an above-ground pool

Posted by: martin profile link at 09/29/09 5:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Can you imagine Richard Lewis on The Hills?
I would watch that show for infinity.

Posted by: arthur great profile link at 09/29/09 6:41 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Kristin Cavallari: beloved cunt.

Posted by: whoatom101 profile link at 09/29/09 8:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Um... this whole idea of "Retroscripting" came around from Dr. Katz Professional Therapist and Home Movies. The voice actors had a basic premise to work with, some lines were scripted but there was a lot of ad lib. I wouldn't put The Hills in the same pigeonhole as Home Movies or Curb. It's not what you do but how well you do it. And it looks like the Hills is doin' it wrong.

Posted by: amalthea profile link at 09/29/09 10:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Was that Mo Collins? Seriously now.

Posted by: Zilla at 09/29/09 11:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

This video is my favourite thing you've ever posted!

Posted by: Dan at 09/30/09 7:42 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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  • Senior Editor: Gabe Delahaye
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