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December 11, 2008

The Five Most Ridiculous Things About House, M.D.

thumbnail icon: The Five Most Ridiculous Things About House, M.D.

We all know at least three people who watch House, M.D. In fact, I think we all know exactly three people who watch House, M.D. House, M.D. is a very enjoyable show, if a show that takes place in a fantasy world less believable than that of LOST. For a long time, I thought I knew the most ridiculous things about House, and I was comfortable with those things, because it's very obvious that the writers of the show are in on the joke and that the show works on more than one level. But then, for some reason, this week, during Tuesday's built-up Christmas episode, I realized what the true most ridiculous thing about House, M.D. is. So here are the top five, four of which are totally "duh", but the top one of which only became obvious to me this week, and I'm one of those three people who watches House, M.D.

5. Dr. House is racist, sexiest, and homophobic.

4. Dr. House plays electric guitar and drives a motorcycle.

3. Dr. House is a drug addict who stole from a pharmacy and faked a brain tumor, but everyone enables him because he's such a great doctor.

2. Dr. House is always trying to kill people in order to prove that his diagnosis was right.

All of these things are the show's premise, and after this many seasons, are expected. But the number one most ridiculous thing about House, M.D. is rarely, if ever, discussed, though much of the show's plot depends on it...

1. In the House-verse, Dr. Gregory House is VERY FAMOUS. He's more famous, in fact, than any doctor in our world, with the exception of Dr. Phil. But aside from that one documentary crew from that episode that was never referred to again, he writes no books, publishes no papers, and, especially, is never on television. This could not happen in the real world. That is all.

Oh, and also, drink every time they say "Sarcoidosis."

Posted by Lindsay at 11:15 AM in
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46 Comments

adrienne

I am included in that "three people that watch house" category and I remember at some point there was a reference to a paper that he wrote. So I think he does or at least did write papers at some point. He's also been working a really long time and I never got the impression that he was that famous, just well known enough that people who have insane diseases can find him.

Posted by: adrienne profile link at 12/11/08 11:33 AM | Reply
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I am the third. Though I didn't really even realize that he was famous until reading this. I did always wonder how this show is premised on there being so many mysteriously sick people in the greater New Jersey area.

Posted by: elaine benes profile link at 12/11/08 11:43 AM | Reply
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Underneath that gruff exterior, down deep, in the darkest parts of House's psyche, is a man who truly cares. You just have to be willing to look hard enough.

Posted by: DanBlurns profile link at 12/11/08 11:46 AM | Reply
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take a shot everytime they think the patient has Lupus.

chug like hell if its the first diagnosis.

Posted by: Max at 12/11/08 11:48 AM | Reply
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some people prefer their Fake really, truly fake. i don't watch the hills - i watch house m.d. alternate drinking diseases: Amyloidosis and Wegener's.

Posted by: amanda at 12/11/08 11:49 AM | Reply
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Most of the cases are supposedly fairly local to their hospital, so it's not necessarily that he's world famous, but well known in the community. I like to believe it's because it's set in New Jersey that all those people in one little area can keep coming up with unbelievably ridiculous complex medical issues.

Posted by: Stella at 12/11/08 11:50 AM | Reply
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I assume you meant "sexist"... though it's not completely wrong the way it is.

Posted by: stvspl at 12/11/08 12:27 PM | Reply
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Lindsay

Freudian Slip! I'm leaving it in.

Posted by: Lindsay profile link in reply to stvspl's comment at 12/11/08 1:20 PM | Reply
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"5. Dr. House is racist, sexiest, and homophobic."

Either there's a stray e going on there, or you're pointing out the fact that item B is ridiculous given items A and C.

Posted by: cizmad at 12/11/08 12:31 PM | Reply
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The "'famous doctor" concepts seems to be pretty common in Hollywood. There are these everyday people always having these conversations about various doctors and saying, "Oh, he's very good!". Like everyone is keeping track or something. I only know of about 4 doctors in my city and that's only 'cause I've personally been treated by them. Maybe everyone in Jersey gets a free subscription to Hot Docs Weekly ("Inside: blue or green scrubs? What today's osteo is wearing!").

The other thing everyone who makes medical shows thinks is that doctor=scientist. As if Dr Medical Genius is going around saying, "Gee, sick person. I'd love to intubate you right now but I've gotta go isolate the gene for ankylosing spondylitis. Then at noon I'm curing cancer. Sorry!"

No way. Most doctors never do even a tiny bit of research, and wouldn't know a lab if they accidentally fell into one after stealing their drugs from the hospital stockroom.

Has anyone noticed that all these people started showing up at the hospital AFTER Dr House arrived? Maybe he's a carrier for every whacked-out disease ever (much like I'm pretty sure Jessica Fletcher was the Angel of Death).

Posted by: kushiro profile link at 12/11/08 12:39 PM | Reply
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Garmanbozia

there really are famous doctors, even in Hollywood. I had knee surgery last year and there were only 2 knee surgeons to see in all of Los Angeles/California. If you find someone with a knee surgery scar, they will know both doctors. Famous.

Posted by: Garmanbozia profile link in reply to kushiro's comment at 12/11/08 2:27 PM | Reply
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Gregs Across the World Unite support House, MD. Before House, we didn't have many Gregs on TV,especially since the cancellation of Dharma and Greg and Greg the Bunny.

The show would be better if it was called Gregory House, MD. mind you, but we will still support it.

Posted by: Greg at 12/11/08 12:40 PM | Reply
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Drink every time they fry someone's kidneys.

Posted by: snowak at 12/11/08 1:00 PM | Reply
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Dolf

To be fair, the documentary crew didn't even seem to know House. Much to his chagrin, they made him look like a total sweetheart, despite his best efforts to be an asshole. You'd think if you were making a documentary about an elephant-faced boy visiting a brilliant doctor to get his face fixed they'd do at least some research.

Also, there was that couple that FLED CUBA to come see House. They weren't even out of the water yet when they started pleading with the Coast Guard to take them to New Jersey.

Posted by: Dolf profile link at 12/11/08 2:17 PM | Reply
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Vasculitis is another drinking word. I swear they say that every episode.

Posted by: Mandy at 12/11/08 2:22 PM | Reply
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YES COUNT ME IN ON ONE OF THE FEW WHO LOVES HOUSE! BUT REMEMBER THAT NOT ONLY IS IT A GREAT SHOW, BUT HUGH LAURIE IS SUCH A GREAT ACTOR AND MUSICIAN, NOT TOO MANY ACTORS ARE AS GREAT HAS HE IS!!!!!!!!

WATCH SOME OF HIS OLD STUFF FROM HIS BIRTH COUNTRY AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!

Posted by: Linda at 12/11/08 2:42 PM | Reply
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I too am excited about this. Yay.

Posted by: kushiro profile link in reply to Linda's comment at 12/11/08 3:31 PM | Reply
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You missed one more: The science dialogue (50% of the show) is a COMPLETE waste of time. No one, other than your med school roommate, knows what they're talking about. And no one cares, because they just want to see how much of an asshole House will be tonight. It's the same concept that is driving The Office into the ground: Character over Plot.

Posted by: Jason at 12/11/08 5:24 PM | Reply
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icanread

I agree with reasons 2-5 but I think there was a reference to him having written papers at some point or something, although I could be making that up. And I don't think it's that crazy to think that people with serious undiagnosed illnesses to do some research and find a doctor who can help them. A lot of them choose Dr. House because he has such a good success rate. The episode with the people from Cuba was pretty ridiculous, though.
And it's a lot better than in Grey's Anatomy where about 50% of their patients die by the end of the episode.

Posted by: icanread profile link at 12/11/08 5:46 PM | Reply
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There are quite a lot of people who know three other people that love house.
The Guiness book of worldrecords actually has House as the most watched TV series in the world !
So there seem to be quite a lot of us who are willing to suspend our disbelieve for the duration of an episode. :-)

Posted by: Claudia at 12/11/08 6:02 PM | Reply
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The reason most of us watch that show is because he's such an ass. What's more fun than that when you are watching tv?!
http://susanimate.spaces.live.com


Posted by: Susanimate at 12/11/08 7:19 PM | Reply
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SEXIEST.

Posted by: bex at 12/11/08 7:39 PM | Reply
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Sarcoidosis is the new Lupus

Posted by: me at 12/11/08 7:42 PM | Reply
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House drinking game, to be played by anyone who has ever worked in an actual hospital:

1. take a drink every time someone ignores universal precautions
2. take a drink every time a doctor does something that would be done by a lab tech or a nurse in real life
3. take a drink every time a doctor does something that would result in losing their license to practice medicine and/or the hospital losing its accreditation.

4. If you're still upright halfway through the show, either you have a Liver of Steel or someone has been watering the booze.

Posted by: Lila at 12/11/08 7:50 PM | Reply
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itsthenewjanbrady

I've seen most of the series ambivalently and am (probably, now that I've read the comments) in the minority that watches for the scientific craziness. I used to study immunology and this feeds my medical curiosity from time to time. It also makes me a horrible candidate for med school.

Posted by: itsthenewjanbrady profile link at 12/11/08 10:26 PM | Reply
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horrible english

Posted by: nathaniel at 12/11/08 10:49 PM | Reply
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If you want to get really drunk then every time they want to do a LP (lumbard Puncture(sp?))
As with most TV shows you have to suspend a certain amount of disbelief as lets face it if you followed "real life" it would be so boring. However it does seem to be that between episodes can sometimes be eluded to quite a long time apart.

I think House is a great show and frankly Hugh Laurie is a great actor, I grew up in the UK watching a bit of Fry and Laurie and think he has gone on to do some great things.

Posted by: Tom at 12/12/08 3:49 AM | Reply
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You missed the major, MAJOR point of Dr House, and that is namely . . .

The fact he's not House at all, he's Holmes, as in the great detective of the name. The parallels were blindingly obvious to me once someone pointed them out! I mean, look at his best friend Watson . . erm, I mean Wilson. And if you freeze-frame while he's walking into his flat, check out the number on the door.

Posted by: simon at 12/12/08 4:07 AM | Reply
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What makes the show truly ludicrous is the diagnoses and cure. The real medical world just shrugs it's shoulders and you die.

Posted by: Sluggo at 12/12/08 9:53 AM | Reply
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Who cares? I'd still do him.

Posted by: Under House Arrest at 12/12/08 11:27 AM | Reply
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Next season they're going to flash back in time 10 years for the whole season and relabel it "Young House" to fill in all of the plot gaps. Also to reduce staff.

Posted by: Polar Bear at 12/12/08 12:18 PM | Reply
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Drink every time someone says "get her/him/them out of here". That also works on every other medical show ever.

Posted by: aminutewithstanhooper at 12/12/08 1:18 PM | Reply
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I'm not sure the Famous Doctor is any more preposterous than the Famous Bouncer. Remember Patrick Swayze in ROADHOUSE? Legendary! And what about Famous SPIES? James Bond, Derek Flint -- international celebrities!

Posted by: Bo Babbyo at 12/12/08 2:42 PM | Reply
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Wouldn't being a "Famous Spy" kind of defeat the purpose of being a spy?

Very simple House drinking game: Drink every time "Its not what we thought it was."

Posted by: Chris L in reply to Bo Babbyo's comment at 12/12/08 10:01 PM | Reply
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I know there's lots of ridiculous things about House but I just enjoy it so much and Hugh Laurie's performance, I don't care. As long as there's a mystery illness and House is rude to some patients, I'm happy

Posted by: SAL at 12/12/08 10:09 PM | Reply
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joy

bullshit.
this show is far better than grey's anatomy or ER or any other psuedo-dramatic doctor shows. but maybe I'm just as bigoted as house.

Posted by: joy profile link at 12/13/08 8:58 PM | Reply
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Sorry, but I love that f*cking show. Oh and not only can he REALLY play guitar in real life, he can also sing and play piano in real life too.

Hugh Laurie is a very multifaceted actor. House is GREAT.

I am one of WAY more than 3 people I know that watch the show. Not only that, but I've turned so many more people onto it just by suggesting it.

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. lol

Posted by: C Cummings, RN at 12/14/08 5:19 PM | Reply
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Calliwell

Anyone saw that one episode where they said "Heavy Metal Syndrome" like the whole episode? Even when the patient didn't have Heavy Metal Syndrome, they just kept on saying it?

Kumar: Heavy Metal Syndrome?
Thirteen: Maybe Heavy Metal Syndrome
House: Well it's not Heavy Metal Syndrome
Chase: I just popped up to say Heavy Metal Syndrome
Foreman: I don't know if you can claim it's Heavy Metal Syndrome
Cuddy: IT TURNED OUT TO BE HEAVY METAL SYNDROME BUT NOT HEAVY METAL SYNDROME

Me: So...does this person like Judas Priest?

Posted by: Calliwell profile link at 12/15/08 1:32 PM | Reply
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The important thing about House is that it's basically Don Rickles in Law & Order with a Star Trek ending. They spend 55 minutes misdiagnosing everything, then suddenly say some medical gobbledygook that amounts to "reverse the polarity of the neutron drive." But as long as the main character gets the chance to make fun of someone for being fat, black, or a woman, it's good television.

Posted by: J at 12/15/08 11:00 PM | Reply
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Ridiculous Thing #6 -- Cuddy's outfits. It seems every episode this season, her skirts get tighter and her blouses lower cut. I know its universal across all hospital TV shows that the doctors are ridiculously good looking and well dressed for people that get no sleep and deal with blood and guts all day, but Cuddy is taking it to another level of redonkulousness.

Posted by: John at 12/17/08 3:36 PM | Reply
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I watch House sometimes, but it only gives me that feeling like I have to poop and can't. I think its because it sucks and people still like it.

Posted by: kingofkenya at 12/17/08 6:09 PM | Reply
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pauly

I get mad at the commercial previewing any upcoming show, which, usually consists of a person passing out folowed by a snarky look and comment from the star (I guess his name is house?...) of the show leaning on his cane. Said comment is usually along the lines of "so, I guess we'll be ordering in?" This is then followed by passed out person awakening in tubes being tended by dead poets society guy and the voice over urging me to watch it because "it's the most thrilling episode yet, with an ending I just won't believe!" fuck that show.

Posted by: pauly profile link at 12/18/08 1:40 AM | Reply
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not to trample on your joke, but i think a lot of people enjoy House.

Posted by: VGluvspoo at 12/18/08 11:16 AM | Reply
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Drink twice every time they say Wilson's Disease.

I dig the show quite a bit because, like Jack Nicholson, Hugh Laurie is great at playing the asshole. The characters on the show let him get away with crap for the same reason Beavis and Butthead got away with everything - no one wants to watch a show about the protagonist(s) constantly getting punished by "the man." It's a total farce, and it doesn't care about the rules.

Posted by: Dave at 12/18/08 6:07 PM | Reply
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I don't watch House but it was brought to my attention by the number of Wegener's references - I actually have Wegener's!

Posted by: Luce at 04/12/09 4:06 PM | Reply
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Everybody assumes that he's famous for whatever. But you really must get that he is known in the medical world for treating tough diseases... By doctors. People who come to him are sick and have probably heard from him by the doctors suggestion Dr. House from them. I seriously doubt the patients think "Hey I'm sick let me see docor house."

Posted by: Beebop at 05/14/09 5:15 AM | Reply
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