Gossip Girl: Jenny Humphrey Takes The Fashion World By Stupid
OK, so last week Jenny Humphrey quit her job with Eleanor Waldorf and decided to start her own fashion line, and as this week's episode opens Jenny is just putting the finishing touches on a final dress. What? I'm not involved or even interested in the fashion world, but something tells me that it takes longer than a week to put together an entire line of "couture," especially when you're 15 years old and you are home-schooled. She works in her room but is still somehow able to keep it a secret from Rufus? Did he go back on tour with the Lemonheads or whatever? For as disgusting and manipulative and venal and self-involved as everyone else on this show is, the Humphrey family really gives Brooklyn a bad name. No wonder no one else on the show ever wants to come here!
So Jenny's masterplan for success is to throw a guerrilla fashion show at a charity event, because rich people will be there and they'll want to invest in her designs. You know, it would be nice if this show made an occasional effort to casually nod towards the way the world works, just like, hey, we know, sorry about all this. Guerrilla fashion show. Right. I heard that's basically how Bill Gates got his start. Anyway, Dan Humphrey catches Jenny when she's about to load all her designs into a van and he gets all Dan on her, what with the judgment and the frowns. He goes to find Rufus, who's probably at Barnes and Noble picking up a copy of How To Not Be The Worst Father Ever For Dummies. Because, you know, considering all of Jenny's behavior in recent weeks, it is totally reasonable to leave her by herself with just her rack of clothes, all her friends, and the van, and expect her to wait for Rufus to come and punish her.
The charity event is to honor Lilly and Bart Bass, which Jenny didn't know when she was preparing her guerrilla fashion show. WAIT. She knew that investors from LVMH, PPR, and Herst were going to be at this event, but she didn't know what the event was about? Granted, I guess that's what happens when your marketing consultant is the 16-year-old president of the Battles fan club. Even Bill Gates knew what gala he was crashing when he threw his legendary name-making guerilla computer show. Anyway, Jenny gets cold feet about the event and Nate is like "Don't do it, I'll kiss you!" And then the best part is Jenny says "I guess this means you don't regret the other night," and Nate says "I guess not." ROMANCE! He guesses that he doesn't regret kissing you! Also someone takes their picture and puts it on gossipgirl.livejournal.com, because every few weeks we need to be reminded of what the initial idea behind this show even was, otherwise we're just floating in a waveless sea of dehumanizing over-indulgence and emotional alienation. BLOGS!
Rufus and Dan and Vanessa arrive at the charity event to try and stop Jenny. In the cab ride Rufus is like "you're going to let the Mr. Softee truck pass us?" and tries to bribe the cabbie with a one. Get it? Mr. Softee is a type of ice cream and Rufus is so broke he can only afford to live in a multi-million dollar Brooklyn loft. New York Cityyyyy! Bart Bass sees Rufus and is like "whuuuuuuut?" Meanwhile, Dan finds Nate and throws him up against a pillar and is like "You kissed my sister on the internet." Why is Dan always punching people and throwing them up against walls? Isn't he supposed to be a homosexual poet or something? Nate Archibald could crush him. Not that he would. He's too much of a gentleman. But Dan needs to mind his place. Which is jail. His place is jail.
Jenny pulls off her big show and all the rich people are like "I'm aghast, but I am also in love with these stupid fashions!" Seriously, all of Jenny's designs are, like, what Sue Ellen makes for General Apparel West in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. I haven't seen that many splatter-painted baby doll dresses with taffeta skirts since the release of Live Through This.
After the show, Rufus is like "Officer, please take my daughter to jail," but Lilly says she's not going to press charges and the cop is like "Donut time!" It's really cute of Lilly to intervene and undermine Rufus's parenting, considering how they are too of the most negligent parents in the history of parents. And by cute I mean horrible. Rufus may be a terrible father and his children should be removed from his care by social services, but he's still the boss of this stupid, miserable family, and Lilly needs to mind her own business. Besides, we were THIS CLOSE to sending Jenny Humphrey to prison. Jenny Humphrey Graduate! To Jail! The Entire Humphrey Family Graduate There!
Meanwhile, Blair still wants to get into Yale, and Serena offers Blair's services to babysit for a friend of the dean's tween daughter for the night because that is how college works. Then Blair spends the whole night chasing the tween around to various NEW YORK CITY HOT SPOTS trying to keep her from losing her virginity or something. I don't know, I gave the Blair plotline a shot, and while it's efforts were admirable, I was bored, and it ruined my pants. Although I LOL'ed at this scene. Keep your eyes on the coffee cup.
So full of coffee! The drinks are as realistic as the behaviors and relationships!
Oh, and Serena keeps trying to date that artist from last week but he keeps having girlfriends and she gets sick of it and is like "you have too many girlfriends is the thing," but he uses the best ever pick up line which is "I'm not going to explain all my girlfriends to you, either you feel something here or you don't." Perfect. He sounds like a date rapist. I hope he does rape Serena and she has to get shipped back to boarding school before the scandal brings down all of Bass Industries. Seriously. Rape is no joke, but neither is my hatred of the fictional character Serena Van Der Woodsen.
Next week: Jenny runs away and gets hit by a bus. Serena Van Der Woodsen gets into a time machine but fails to get her teenage parents to kiss at the dance so she's never born. Dan Humphrey gets hit by the same bus that killed Jenny. Chuck and Blair get married and take over the whole show. And then Bart Bass wakes up and it turns out it was all just my dream.
Posted by Gabe at 11:30 AM in Soap Operas
Tags: Blair Waldorf | Blake Lively | Chace Crawford | Chuck Bass | Dan Humphrey | Ed Westwick | Gossip Girl | Jenny Humphrey | Leighton Meester | Nate Archibald | Penn Badgley | Serena Van Der Woodsen | Taylor Momsen
unless betsy johnson jr. over here designs a super fierce hotdog-on-a-stick uniform with herve leger bodycon spandex, she will NEVER equal sue ellen.
the dishes are DONE, man.
Score = 1
dude, i dont know if it just seems stupid to bash the acting on this show, but how TERRIBLE is aaron the artist pimp? thanks for finally covering jenny to some detail because shes obviously the most ridiculous person on this show. also SPOILER bart bass will die.
Score = 0
that was a great recap! love the sue ellen reference. and the lemonheads. ha.
aaron the artist must have taken mystery's pick up artist class. if he plays his cards right, he could replace matador as mystery's new wing man.
Score = 2
Last night I actually wondered "Is the kid who plays the artist someone in a super hot band I don't know? Or did he win a contest?" because why do they have a shitty actor who isn't half as hot as the rest of the cast playing Serena's love interest. Also, I feel bad for the girl who plays Vanessa since her only role is to be squinty and wounded-looking.
Score = 3
I watch this show just so I can read these recaps. This one was another winner!
I don't understand how anyone can call this show "good." "Entertaining" I get, but "good"... not so much.
Score = 0
I think it's "good" as in "really good at being terrible".
The showrunners know that Gossip Girl isn't some magnum opus so they just make the best trash they possibly can (which I think is the problem with True Blood, Alan Ball obviously thinks the show is like "Mad Men" good, and treats it as such...thus the show just come off as "really bad at trying to be good"). Gossip Girl can be considered a good show because it's as good at it can possibly be.
That said, Gossip Girl the show I look forward to the most (after 30 Rock) each week.
Score = 1
i really want a "jenny humprey is an asshole" t-shirt, especially after this stupid episode. ENOUGH WITH THE RIDICULOUS JENNY PLOTS.
Score = 2
your preview for next week sounds amazing. I can't wait until they do finally kill off everyone but Chuck and Blair. How poetic would that be?
Although, Dan dying might not be that far off, considering how he is stupidly trying to destroy every single aspect he can of Chuck Bass' life. Dan really is relentless. He's done more damage to Chuck's psyche in the last four episodes than CB have ever done to anyone in their entire lives. Except for maybe the damage Chuck caused Bart when he killed his mother.
Score = 1
that was HILARIOUS! My friends and I totally caught the coffee cup thing too.
and I also love how at the fashion show, agnes was like- KICKING shards of glass into peoples faces while they applaud. LOL! UM what?!
Score = 1
I just watched this on dvr last night to clear my mind before the important & historic speeches. But I admit I was temporarily troubled by the fact that the actors playing Jenny & Nate are like 15 and 35 respectively (not confirmed). I have never had reason to investigate the statutory laws of NY state, but is it legal for them to even act like they are a couple?
Score = 0
Remember when we actually put coffee in cups. That was awesome.
Score = 1
you people do realize this is a show right....something for regular people to watch to escape from their ordinary life. It's for entertainment and how entertained would you be if everything was as boring as your life, sitting at a computer leaving comments on show bashing sites.
Score = -6
Kittens please!
Score = 0
It's just a show...if you don't like it, don't watch it. Simple as that. Stop bashing the show, makes it seems like you have no life.
Score = -1
jenny humphrey is the jenny schecter of brooklyn.
Score = 0
Where have we seen the creepy girl child photographing Nate and Jenny before?
She looks too familiar
Score = 0
Jenny cut her hair and lost her mind! I agree her style isn't as refined as Blair's. This show is soooo entertaining! And the music is incredible! The new soundtrack, OMFGG is stellar. Mr. Schwartz has managed to release another awesome soundtrack for one of his shows!
www.omfgg.com
Score = 1
this is the best summary you've written so far. i almost peed my pants. literally.
Score = 0
Right so if you hate this show so much why would you watch it at all? I get being bored while channel surfing.. but really? you watched the FULL HOUR and then said 'omg i have to blog about this!' and put in all the effort to bad mouth this show.. and even took the time to ad pics and video..
when in a normal persons life the answer would have been to change the channel 5 mins in..
I mean.. come on.
get out much? hahaha
too bad we all already know the answer to that one.
although that coffee cup thing was pretty terrible. But the relationships and acting is perfect for how the books wwere written.
OH!~ another thing!! if you dont like the show.. read the books instead! then you can make up your own acting in your head and no one will have to read your shitty complaining.
Score = -4
all the people that are bashing the site, don't watch it.
get a life.
do something better with your life then blog about how much you hate it.
you people are obviously rediculous, and have nothing better to do. you have all these pictures, and paragraphs about how rediculous the show it
dont watch it, change the channel. do something better with your life.
Score = -1
Haha what is happening with these last few comments? Is there a Third Eye Blind/Gossip Girl fans taking-over-the-internet alliance?
I'm going to go back to listening to "How's it Going to Be," but everyone should stop bashing Gossip Girl, ok?
Score = 0
I love Taylor Momsen and I don't care how she acts she's my role model I act just like her!
Score = 0
two* of the most negligent parents, not too.
Score = 0
okay to all you people who say, "Stop bashing the show, you guys have no life". if you can spend AN HOUR watching gossip girl, and we come on here and spend NOT EVEN 5 MINUTES making fun of the crap show. then in my book that puts YOU GUYS in the category of "too much time on their hands"
Maybe some of us love playing the critic, maybe some of us are looking for ideas for our own stories, or just love to poke fun at television in the 21st century because it is absolutely horrid. So now, stop commenting "you guys have no life" on a site that clearly meant for people who dont like the show. if you have time to search "gossip girl" in google, find this site, read it long enough to understand that the author doesn't like it and you still havent moved on to your original idea which was getting info about gossip girl, AND you comment about it....then your lame, and you need a life.
Score = 0