There Is Almost Certainly No Jimmy Kimmel And Sarah Silverman Sex Tape
Some Canadian gossip website is spreading the rumor that there is a sex tape featuring Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman. Having sex. With each other. Well, there probably isn't one. Those are supposed to be screengrabs from the video? That an anonymous source sent in? Because those images could literally be anyone. But this is how the Internet sausage is made. We should start our own rumor! What would it be? I have no idea. I'm sure that it would involve Dax Shepard (duh), but that's about as far as I get. Please submit your Dax Shepard scurrilous Internet rumor suggestions in the comments.
Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in Sex Tapes
Tags: Dax Shepard | Jimmy Kimmel | Rumors | Sarah Silverman | Sex
OK, example:
This is a photo of Dax Shepard picking up some extra work to pay of his Honda CRX.
Score = 27
Dax Shepard went all method while preparing for 'Let's Go to Prison' and let several men sodomize him while showering. It is believe his safe-words were 'I am Zach Braff'.
Score = 11
Dax Shepard also stole the D from believed in my first comment because he is a Holocaust denier
Score = 17
Dax Shephard was born with a robot heart.
Score = 5
What if this got the highest vote? Would the internet break? I'm seriously curious. Also Dax Shepard was recently seen comparing melons. I think he went with the Honeydew.
Score = 5
Dax Shepard post-op.
Score = -3
Hmm, my picture was there a second ago.
Can I try posting again?
Score = -3
Dax Shepard post-op. (Last Try.)
Score = -6
This is a photo of Dax Shepard hiding from the authorities.
Score = 14
Only $349!!?? Sold.
Score = 10
Several of Dax Shepard's neighbors have reported sightings of a strange man painted to look like a horse prancing around dilapidated furniture in Shepard's backyard recently.
Score = 7
Real name: Sax Dhepard. Because Dax is just silly.
Score = 10
Dax Shepard is the gossip girl!!!!
Score = 1
This is Dax Shepherd (in the black trench) in line at the Post Office waiting to send his grandmother her birthday present because he can't figure out how to work the automated weigh--your-own-package-and-print-your-own-postage kiosk in the lobby.
Score = 37
you win at life
Score = 3
Dax Shepard is considering trading in his CRX for a new Saturn.
Score = 4
"Dax Shepard has always been the funniest guy in the crowd." Source: Biography at Imdb.com. I've no rumour other than Dax Flame sorry Shepard clearly edit's his own page. What an awful, awful crowd that would be.
Score = 6
This is a photo of Dax Shepard trying to add butter quickly to his movie popcorn without being noticed. He specifically ordered it at the concessions counter without it so he wouldn't look like a fatty to the cashier and the other people in line.
Score = 9
Golden flavored? Only the best for The Daxanitor.
Score = 6
Topher hasn't eaten since we made fun of him last week.
Score = 12
My ability to stay on-topic is unprecedented.
Score = 2
Dax Shepard was reenacting his dynamic fall out of the boat scene (guessing because I haven't seen it) from Without a Paddle. When he found out he wasn't consulted for Without a Paddle: Nature's Calling. So he squeezed his cat til it eyes go pop.
Score = -1
DJ AM toxicology report: cocaine, oxycontin, vicodin; ativan, klonopin, xanax daxshepard, benadryl; and levamisole.
Score = -4
Dax Shepard brought swine flu to Europe on the back of black rats.
Score = 9
Dax Shepard is his own grandpa.
Score = 6
I heard Dax Shepard is haunted.
Score = 10
Dax Shepard cried during the "Wise Up" part of Magnolia:
That's totally him.
Score = 7
Guys, lay off. Dax Shepard got Pavement back together and I think we all owe him one.
Score = 3
Dax said the f-word on Saturday Night Live.
Score = 2
I heard that Dax Shepard hand-filmed, directed, AND wrote the jokes for the Jimmy Kimmel/Sarah Silverman sex tape.
Score = 1
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Score = -2