September 30, 2009
Some Canadian gossip website is spreading the rumor that there is a sex tape featuring Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman. Having sex. With each other. Well, there probably isn't one. Those are supposed to be screengrabs from the video? That an anonymous source sent in? Because those images could literally be anyone. But this is how the Internet sausage is made. We should start our own rumor! What would it be? I have no idea. I'm sure that it would involve Dax Shepard (duh), but that's about as far as I get. Please submit your Dax Shepard scurrilous Internet rumor suggestions in the comments.
Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in
Tags: Dax Shepard | Jimmy Kimmel | Rumors | Sarah Silverman | Sex
latest by kfr
June 19, 2009
Leighton Meester has a sex tape now? NO WONDER SHE DIDN'T GET INTO YALE (I HATE MYSELF!). The worst part is that TMZ already made all of the "xoxo" and "spotted" jokes, so there isn't even a clever way to talk about this. Because if there is one thing the world needs, it is a clever way to talk about a Leighton Meester sex tape. (That is not what the world needs!) TMZ reports:
We've learned a Meester tape is being shopped around town. It was shot a few years back, and shows Leighton in mostly innocuous though nude scenes -- with several big exceptions ... one involving her very talented feet.
We're told a company called celebhotline.com is negotiating for the video. The company's spokesperson, Kevin Blatt told us, "We've seen the tape and we're hoping to close the deal."
Ew. It was shot a few years back? Isn't Leighton Meester, like, 12 years old? This is some kind of Chris Hansen sting operation. Everyone shut down your computer and put it in the garbage. If you put your computer in the garbage, nothing can be traced, and you can't go to jail. Sneakers. You're welcome, perverts. Xoxo, you know you're perverts.
Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in
Tags: Blair Waldorf | Gossip Girl | Leighton Meester | Sex
latest by footman
May 22, 2009
Human sexuality is a many and varied thing (perfect, class is in session). And it starts when we are very young (please save your questions until the end of my powerful lecture). It can take many years even as an adult to define and embrace one's sexuality, but the more we can make the world an open and understanding place where everyone is entitled to explore their self identity and feel safe to acknowledge who they really are, the happier a place it will be, and the more time people will have to focus on changing the true problems of the world. That is why I support this Kidz Bop video for their cover of Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want to Be." It says to our children "Hey, do you associate yourself with furry culture? Do you want to get dressed up in a brightly colored animal costume and dance with other furries in a hotel ballroom? Do you want to have a furry affair like Turtle did on that one episode of Entourage? Well you can't yet, because you are only a child. But it is OK to want those things, and one day your parents won't be able to tell you shit."
Continue reading Kidz Bop Opens Children's Eyes To The World Of Furries...
Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in , ,
Tags: Furries | Gavin DeGraw | Kidz Bop
latest by Blondie
April 6, 2009
Holy shit. First of all, let me just say I AM ALREADY SORRY FOR THIS. Second of all, let me say that you should feel absolutely no obligation (duh) to click through this post for the video, because once you see it you will never be able to unsee it. That is how seeing works. Now you know. Here's your diploma. The creeps at StreetCarnage dug up this video as part of a new sex fetish called Masking or Femskins, which they describe this way:
It's dudes who literally skin one of those latex sex dolls and then puts it on over his regular skin and, then puts on another latex suit and dances around so prettily.
And which I describe this way:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
After the jump, someone calling themselves "Synthia" (right), shows off a new Femskin. It's NSFW, unless your work is throwing yourself off a roof.
Continue reading That's Your Nightmare: Femskins...
Posted by Gabe at 1:30 PM in ,
Tags: Femskins | Nightmares | Sex
latest by Sysperia
January 27, 2009
A Chinese pornographer is planning on making the world's first 3D erotic film. From the AP:
HONG KONG (AFP) - A Hong Kong filmmaker aims to lure audiences back to the cinema with what what he says is the world's first 3D erotic movie, according to a newspaper report.
FAIR ENOUGH. But just make your porno, don't play games. No motivation is so clear and so well understood as the motivation of a pornographer. "To lure audiences back to the cinema"? PLEASE, SIR, YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE. 2008 was a record year in box office revenues. You know what lures audiences back to the cinema, professor? Batman. Unless by audiences you just meant this guy. You are making a 3D porno to lure money into your bank account. The end.
Also, not to be a wet blanket, but 3D technology suuuuuuucks. So when he says things like this...
Continue reading The World's First 3D Pornographer Also Invents The World's Thinnest Excuse...
Posted by Gabe at 4:15 PM in ,
Tags: 3D | Porno
latest by Maggie
April 15, 2008
Me: There's a Marilyn Monroe sex tape.
Friend: No, they didn't have video back then. It would be a sex "film"
Me: Yeah, it's the Zapruder film of sex tapes.
Friend: Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left.
Meet Keya Morgan. Memorize his face. If you see him walking down the street, follow him home, because he has oh come on totally made a copy of and still has the Marilyn Monroe sex tape film. Keya was on the Early Show this morning (good get, Early Show!) basically dragging everyone involved through the mud (JFK, RFK, alleged prostitutes) while describing the tape none of us will ever see and will soon forget about. My favorite part is when he apologizes for saying "phallus," and when he talks about how the man involved was wearing a hat (euphemism?). Watch it here (via Radar).
Posted by Lindsay at 12:29 PM in
Tags: Keya Morgan | Marilyn Monroe
latest by The Littlest Winslow
