What's Your Damage, Hollywood?
A Heathers reboot? For TV? Right. Big fun! Teenage Suicide, just do it. That's how it goes, right? From Variety:
Dear Diary: Fox is developing a contemporary take on the 1989 Christian Slater/Winona Ryder feature "Heathers."Dark comedy will be adapted for TV by scribe Mark Rizzo, with an assist from "Sex and the City" alum Jenny Bicks. Sony Pictures TV, where Bicks is based, will produce, along with Lakeshore Entertainment, which holds the rights to "Heathers."
Rizzo is still kicking around ideas on how to update "Heathers" 20 years after the film became a favorite among the underground set. But the characters from the movie are all expected to be there -- Veronica Sawyer (played in the movie by Ryder), J.D. (Slater) and the "Heathers."
Whatever. Would you ask the sun not to shine on the set of the Goonies remake? Would you ask the rain not to fall upon The Neverending Story: Kindle Warz's craft services table? Hollywood is just doing what Hollywood does at this point. But they could at least show us all the respect of face-raping the past without the empty justifications:
The idea for a "Heathers" revival came from inside UTA, where reps for Rizzo and Bicks decided the title was ripe for revival and contacted Lakeshore about potentially dusting off the franchise.For Lakeshore, the project, which is in the script stage at Fox, reps its introduction to the world of TV.
"We had the title, and talked about doing a film remake at times," said Lakeshore prexy Gary Lucchesi. "But doing it for TV seemed like a fresh and original idea."
It's not a franchise if there's just one movie, and it doesn't need dusting off if people still care about it. More importantly: doing it for TV isn't even a fresh and original SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT MEDIUM, much less "idea." They literally don't have a clue what that word even means anymore. "I want an everything bagel with idea cheese, and a no-fat venti ideaccino." Jerks. (Thanks for the tip, Amanda.)
Posted by Gabe at 9:45 AM in Remakes And Spinoffs
Tags: Heathers
Woof. I'd rather be fucked gently with a chainsaw that watch this.
Score = 25
really? because that sounds pretty awful. in fact, i would rather do almost anything else in replacement of getting fucked by a chainsaw. even if the fucking is as you put it "gentle."
Score = -10
Ha, its a line from the film dude.
Score = 1
this remake's for you!
Score = 16
Your teen angst will at least have a bodycount.
Score = 9
This show
Score = 0
SHIT! COMMENT FAIL! I HATE MY DEAD GAY SON!
Score = 16
Brought to you by Corn Nuts!
Score = 6
BQ or Plain?
Score = 4
I have no recollection of ever seeing (nor wanting to see) this film. I have heard about it, and every time a girl is mean in a movie, HEATHERS springs forth from the reviewer's lips (or Pen. or fingertips) and blah blah blah
Fuckoff
Sick of hearing about this horrible remake shit that fucktards jacked up on coke and caffeine deem important enough for tv. Woo. Thanks for the Tip of my Penis Amanda.
Score = -37
you should watch it. it really holds up for a lot of reasons. it's the kind of movie that you WON'T see on TBS, TNT, or whatever because the subject matter is still(20 years later) too much for the "average" viewer. having said that... i'm with you on the remake shit.
Score = 6
Really? I think that Heathers had one of those every single time you turn it on comedy central this movie will be on runs.
Score = 4
heh. i haven't had cable tv for a couple of years so i'm basing my assertion on outdated info, i guess. :) i don't remember seeing it much.
Score = 0
You haters are something else
Score = -8
We've tried nothin, and we're out of ideas.
Score = 12
This is better that the idea for a sunday morning political round table discussion show with the original cast of "Kids"
Score = 8
OOOOHH! May be Christian Slater could pull a Jenny Garth and come back as a guidance counselor, or someone's dad! Maybe I could overdose on bleach!
Score = 20
That is twenty years old, too.
Score = 2
*Maybe* Dammit all.
Score = 0
i don't understand how they think a television show about killing people and making it look like suicide could last for more than like 4 episodes without getting either boring or completely ripped to pieces by every possible outlet of tv show rippapartage.
furthermore this is raping my nubile black comedy angst-hole and will be the wurst thing on fox since glen beck
Score = 4
Maybe the secret twist update is that they are vampires....
Score = 19
Hopefully Bravo can get their hands on it and turn it into a "The Real Heathers of ..." franchise.
Score = 8
Nah, Bravo's busy with their new "Real Housewives of Twin Peaks" series.
Score = 4
This won't be very.
Score = 15
so...made-for-tv movie about murder, teenagers, angst and sex will be on lifetime, right? maybe project runway will design all the outfits and the plot will actually be about all the heathers dying and coming back in larger bodies to make us all feel better about ourselves. a girl can't just dream forever, right?!?!
Score = 4
Idea. Hollywood, you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Score = 21
Heathers remake? SO NOT how I wanted to start out my day. This post is like a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer. Boo.
Score = 4
it feels good to be part of the underground set.
Score = 7
"Dear Diary"? Maybe we should hold off on giving out those Pulitzer's because it appears a new contender has emerged. How clever is this guy??
Score = 8
I swear to god if they don't have Veronica wear a monocle I will NOT WATCH. And they better still play croquet.
Score = 6
are you kidding? to these new hollywood writers, croquet and monocles are, like, sooo 18th century. they'll be playing xbox and wearing ed hardy.
Score = 12
I hear they're getting Peter Jackson to direct the scenes that take place in Heaven.
Score = 9
Do these people even know what it is that their industry actually produces? I mean the way they throw about the word "idea" you could be forgiven for thinking that they've never actually seen any films or television programmes and if they ever were to see their products they would get scared at the magical moving pictures projected in front of them. "So this is a 'film'? I though it was something you ate or possibly a type of pet. You learn something new every day! So now that I see this I'm wondering... can we make this 3D?"
Score = 3
From Reality:
"The idea for a "Heathers" revival came from inside UTA, where reps for Rizzo and Bicks noticed they were no longer receiving sizable residual checks from sales of Heathers DVDs."
Score = 3
"Your society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think to bring upon itself."
Score = 4
it's awfully ambitious of them to feel like this will go over well on TV.
with a movie, people who are offended by the idea of disaffected teenagers committing act of violence against popular kids can just choose not to go see it, and there's not the pressure to develop a regular audience. in this gossip girl-true blood-real housewives of my ass world, this shit might be too real for the average tv viewer. i am already imagining how pissed all the parents of kids who died in columbine, or whose kids committed suicide after being bullied, are going to be. (i english gud.)
Score = 5
I don't like the new trend of remaking old TV shows. Remaking old movies into TV shows is even worse. I refuse to lick it up, Hollywood. Won't lick it up!
Score = 7
Television, just because big brother Broadway has given up on coming up with new ideas in favor of resuscitating and consequently killing old movies doesn't mean you have to as well.
Please stop.
Score = 1
Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.
Score = 2
i love my dead gay son
Score = 9
I'm moving to Hollywood, and all I'm going to do is pitch shows/movies I find out of an 1989 TV Guide... I gots to get paid.
Score = 6
Reps told the prexy that the alum-assisted scribe will adap the orig film for a reviv. Source: Varietexting.com.
Score = 0
Score = 9
Dude. Get this. Ok. Got a super cool original idea (cheese) for this new situational comedy show! It is called "Green Acres" and it features Larry the Cable Guy as the voice of a talking pig!
Score = 5
SHH! Don't talk so loud! Hollywood might hear you!
Score = 3
You chop off the head of one Heather, and the head of another Heather grows in...SIGH. The movie is a god damned classic. Don't touch it! Corn nuts. Ugh.
Score = 1
Hey Hollywood! Sit and spin!
Score = 3
I don't patronize bunny rabbits.
Score = 7
Jesus, that line is cinematic perfection.
Score = 2
This idea needs to suck down a bowl of multi-purpose de-odorising disinfectant.
Score = 3
I'm sacred in 20 years on spacevideogum.space people will be having a similar conversation about how the remake is going to ruin the original Juno.
"Honest to blog, space Hollywood"
Score = 0