Oh Boy, Who Should Jon Gosselin Be Friends With Next?
Man, this guy Jon Gosselin (whoever that is) has awful taste in friends. First he became friends with Christian Audigier, of Ed Hardy, and here he is hanging out with Michael Lohan. With friends like these, who needs nightmares?
I guess the one nice thing about this situation is how it shows us that Jon Gosselin is clearly as bad at making decisions for his own well-being as he is at making decisions for the well-being of his children. OK, maybe that's not a "nice" thing, but it's certainly a thing.
Who should Jon Gosselin be friends with next? You ought to know, he's your boyfriend. I think he should be friends with the following people:
Dick Cheney
Finally, the war criminal and living monster will be able to add "BFF with Jon Gosselin" to his impressive resume (Dick Cheney, constantly updating his resume).
Seth MacFarlane
They have both managed to convince America that it wants the awful thing that they are offering. Great The Worsts think alike.
Katherine Heigl
Admittedly, Heigl is too smart and feminist for Gosselin, but they both like cameras!
Violent J
No explanation necessary.
Joe Francis
Francis has been to jail, and one day, if justice exists, Jon Gosselin will go to jail. And Joe Francis will go BACK to jail. So they can share tips.
They could all get together in the Hamptons for drinks and a friendly game of Celebrity Charity Russian Roulette. WHOOPS, WHO PUT BULLETS IN EVERY CHAMBER?! (Image via JustJared.)
Posted by Gabe at 2:20 PM in Reality TV
Tags: Ed Hardy | Friendship | Idiocracy | Jon And Kate Plus 8 | Jon Gosselin | Michael Lohan | National Failures
Dan Quinn
Score = 4
Don't be hating on the man who single-handedly developed cold fission and pure H2O. You are playing with fire nedenhole!
Score = 5
I like to imagine how each of these guys would respond to getting called out. I won't go into specifics, but in my noggin, Cheney always wins.
Score = 2
I've never seen a close up pic of Seth before, did he always look like a man baby? Yikes. How about he's friends with Seth and Thumb head from Top Chef?
Score = 31
I where your mind's at, but I vote for stupid facial hair guy.
Score = 0
I likewhere your mind's at. God, this is why I only use pencil in real life.
Score = 3
Maybe Gwyneth can help him start a blog about his trashy lifestyle. His first post can be a video of him cooking Cheetos crusted chicken.
Score = 2
www.joog.com
Score = 0
jon gosselin is the most interesting man in the world. he should be put in the dos equis commercials.
stay thirsty my friends.
Score = 2
You know what would be really really funny? Is if someone made a fake facebook feed for Jon & Kate..! We could see them go from "in a relationship" to "single." SO TRUE. Who they added as friends post break up. We could track their dating habits with photo albums! Someone please make this graphic (please don't).
Score = -6
guess this means that most of you think fake facebook feeds are funny. is monday over yet?
Score = 0
Perhaps he should befriend Mr. Chi-City. I'm sure he could show John how to properly stock his fridge for the numerous hood rats and chicken heads who will be visiting his (awful) pad.
Score = 8
Joe Francis looks sexy in that picture. Downvote away!
Score = -19
Well, you can't see his dolphin teeth in that picture. Or his intense misogyny. But when both of those things are there below the surface, how can you even think such a thing?!
Score = 19
Leif Garrett. Give him Turtle's Ferrari. Have Jon ride shotgun.
Score = 4
Maybe he could be friends with this couple
[IMG]http://i801.photobucket.com/albums/yy294/iggreenhill/ggynvg.jpg[/IMG]
Score = 22
Aw cockpiece. I am not getting approval for my pic so I thought I'd try a different code, perhaps its because of Gabe's face on top of Chris Martins body, I mean I know it's creepy but I lots of loved.
Score = 6
HA HA HA! Despite the link failure, this is hilarious. It deserves to be embedded. I won't steal your thunder, so DIY: Ximg alt="" src="http://image url" /X (instead of Xs, use )
Score = 2
Whoa, unnecessary HTML schooling over here. The problem was obviously elsewhere. Sorry. I'm not Five-Star General of the Internet (Gen. George S. Kissthepan?) or anything, so where do I get off? I'm downvoting myself and leaving.
Score = 7
img alt="" src="http://s801.photobucket.com/albums/yy294/iggreenhill/?action=view¤t=ggynvg.jpg /
If this doesn't work then please steal my thunder because I am officially computer illiterate!
Score = 2
I think I'm going to break the internet with my incompetence. The pictures never going to be funny now! Thanks though, you can not only get upvotes, but you can get my respect!
Score = 6
Direct your upvotes to jawbone, y'all.
Score = 2
the conspiracy continues! but that is funny.
Score = 4
Call me a racist (don't call me a racist), but I can't tell the difference between Joe Francis and Ben Silverman.
Score = 4
He should be friends with everyone on Entourage. But not the actual people, just the fictional characters they play.
Score = 6
Jeremy Piven would be the IDEAL friend for Jon.
Score = 15
"So they can share tips."
I'm not sure if this is a play on words, but I liked it.
Score = 19
Chris Brown is in desperate need a friend right now, and this Jon Gosselin guy sounds like the perfect candidate. Besides, worst case scenario Chris will get tired of him and beat him up the night before an award show or something; hypothetically speaking of course.
Score = 21
Here you go Jawbone:
Score = 72
Oh Max, Kiss the Pan and I now feel awfully sheepish. I deserve downvotes for messing up the page, so give the props to kiss the pan or max as I don't care, I JUST WANT THE TRUTH TO COME OUT GABE!!!!
Score = 16
For sure. If ever an "edit your comment" function should come to ViGum, it should be named after me, the idiot, who fucks up threads with my incompetency. I also missed a "in reply to" at one point. Sigh...
Anyway, at least the world can at last see jawbone's beautiful work! I love that Gabe's head is so much bigger than Gwynnie's, and that look on his face is one of both sadness and resignation.
Score = 6
It's because Chris Martin's severed head is in the pram
Score = 12
"Pram".
Score = 2
Yes, pram. Short for perambulator. May be a British thing, I dunno. Sorry, the only American show I watch is Scooby Doo. Do you guys still say jinkies?
Score = 18
Little Lord Gabriel,
This picture is absolutely darling! We must remember to have it framed and placed on the mantel. Jawbone, don't fret, dear. American have such atrocious diction that it's no surprise "pram" was not recognized. Why, when I went to England and visited the thousand year old buildings, I learned so many new, exciting (not to mention correct!) words. America has delightfully butchered your language, I must say.
-Gwyneth
Score = 33
"American have such atrocious diction"
Score = 4
I can only hope that's on purpose. If so "LOL well played."
Score = 3
Can you please make me those Goop cookies? For the record, I really like Coldplay. And you were excellent in Great Expectations. (She was not excellent in Great Expectations, I just want Goop cookies.)
Score = 4
No worries, buddy! We're all friendly little monsters here.
Score = 3
Oh, fuck me. That didn't work either. I should leave the embedding to the Kenny Powerses of the world.
Score = 3
He and his new "friends" should be on the next season of the real world.
Score = 3
Jon's already got the only friend he needs : Vodka.
Ed Hardy Vodka, that is! Boooooom!!!!!! Fist bump!!!! Hug it out!!!!!!
http://www.edhardybeverages.com/
Score = 2
brett michaels, of rock of love fame
Score = 5
I'm no entrepreneur, but if he were to branch out and befriend, say, The Duggars or the Little Couple, he could stay in-network and probs continue to relieve his TLC stipend for cigarettes and school teachers.
Score = 10
Brooke Hogan
Score = 8
He and Michael Lohan should do a BFF suicide pact, then make friends with the Devil as they hang out in hell.
Score = 3
Jon Gosselin and FRED: A match made in Hell.
Score = 0
Joe Simpson, y'all. Or Ashton Kutcher.
Score = 5
Kate Gosselin?
Score = 6
Boy, I remember not more than half a year's moons ago, he was like, "Ugh, 8 kids. But they're my offspring so i guess i should care for them?"
But now, hip, cool, fresh Jon G. Living life 100%. Breaking walls, building relationships: "Daddy's working so he's gone for a while."
Working on being a man.
Score = 10
Rick Sanchez.
Score = 1
Wrestler Triple H, C. Thomas Howell, and Bret Michaels
Score = 1
Tommy Howell? BAHAHAHAHA. That is so random it's genius. +1!
Score = 0
Sign me up for a Jon Gosslien/Levi Johnston sandwich. Rawr, baby. Rawwr.
Score = 1
Anne Couture & Heather Mills.
Score = -1
Michael Bay. They can bond over how they've both gotten famous off of things that really should never have been filmed. That, and how they're both gigantic fuckwads.
Score = 4
He's not here to make friends? Guys?
Score = 13
Nadya Suleman (duh).
Score = 3
ANNE CURRY! I'm so sorry for the shouting but she is truly the worst. can we please add her to the competition for the worst with Gwen and Heigl? Please?!
Score = 0
A wood chipper.
Score = 1
A brain surgeon next to let out all the trapped air and then transplant a brain in his empty skull - he already is friends with a plastic surgeon - who should start working on him immediately before he explodes!!! He is a gigantic ass and needs a proctologist to keep poking him to give him some energy!!!
Score = 0
A brain surgeon next to let out all the trapped air and then transplant a brain in his empty skull - he already is friends with a plastic surgeon - who should start working on him immediately before he explodes!!! He is a gigantic ass and needs a proctologist to keep poking him to give him some energy!!!
Score = 0