Verdict: Bachelor Jason Is More Of An Idiot Than A Dick
So all of the things prophesied by The Hard Core Bachelor Bloggers for the Bachelor End Times came to pass last night: Jason dumped Molly, proposed to Melissa, waited six weeks, went on TV again, dumped Melissa, and told Molly he wanted to date her instead. Those hard core bloggers who have cousins who are ABC interns or whatever sure do know their stuff! Anyway, when Jason dumped Melissa on TV, he said it was because their "chemistry changed" in the six weeks since the proposal. She asked if she'd done something wrong, and it would have been hilarious if he said "Yes, you farted," but instead he said "No."
Melissa was super classy and just said "Don't call me. Don't text me anymore. Leave me alone. Thank you." Then Molly came out and seemed to be blindsided by Jason's news that he'd dumped Melissa and wanted to date her. It would have been hilarious if she'd said "No way, asshole, there's clearly something wrong with you if you think our "chemistry" isn't also going to change when we get in the real world" but instead she said "I think we can see where it goes." And then they ran off the stage holding hands to have their six weeks together before Jason moved down the list to second-runner-up rejectee Jillian. So that is what happened: Jason isn't a huge asshole, he's just sort of not-bright. The end, almost: tonight there's another After The Final Rose special, which will no doubt just be Jason and Molly talking about their love. Maybe they'll trot out Trista and Ryan again!
Posted by Lindsay at 2:00 PM in Reality TV
Tags: Jason Mesnick | The Bachelor | The Bachelorette
She farted, and it smelled like the inside of a wooden leg. Beware the dutch oven, ladies, or you'll end up like Dumped Von Dumpedenstein.
Score = 1
I hope all the other girls from this season have started to organize their "Jason's a Bastard" barbecue/Vegas kvetching weekend for Melissa. Shannon will entertain everyone with more stores of Jason's boneheadedness (which she will have found out from her stalker-y research, natch), Stephanie's adorable daughter will give out tons of hugs, and Megan the lacrosse coach will take a stick to Jason's kneecaps.
Score = 0
I thought he was going to come out. I swear I thought he was going to say "Y'know what? Turns out I'm gay. That's why I can't make up my mind."
Molly was supremely disappointing. I actually yelled at the TV for her to slap him and get some self-respect.
Score = 3