Are You Guys Watching Momma's Boys?
Because you should be watching Momma's Boys. We're already three episodes into the season, so I think the recap ship has sailed, and other maritime metaphors indicating that I'm not going to be writing much about this show. But that should not keep you from enjoying what is easily one of the most ridiculous shows on television. More ridiculous than Bromance? OK, fine, one of the second most ridiculous shows on television.
The premise is simple. Kind of. Simple might be the wrong word. But easy to understand. 32 girls move into a reality mansion to vie for the attentions of three bachelors. The twist is that the three bachelors' moms also move into the reality mansion with the girls in order to try to influence the boys' decisions. This could really go either way, where the two ways are boring and ridiculous, but what really pushed it towards the latter was the selection of a 21-year-old hockey star named Jo Jo on what has to be the single qualification that his mom, Mrs. B, is an unapologetic anti-Semitic racist. Perfect.
Of course, in traditional romantic reality TV style, the girls compete in weekly challenges to demonstrate their physical and culinary prowess, and then there's an elaborate elimination ceremony which is not quite as intensely insane as the Bromance elimination ceremony in which Brody Jenner sits in a HOT TUB with ALL THE DUDES, and tells one dude at a time that they don't have what it takes to be his friend. But the Momma's Boys elimination is still pretty bananas, with each girl getting a cellphone and all of the girls waiting together to receive individual text messages on their respective cell phones telling them either "yes," in which case they stay, "it's a no," in which case they leave, or "meet at the pool," in which case they will be told to their face why the boys are iffy on them, and then whether or not they'll have an opportunity to correct for this iffy-ness in a future episode. It's great, and it leads to historic melt downs like this one from contestant Cara Quici:
Do you see what I'm saying? About this show and your need to be watching it?
In the first, admittedly over-long at two hours, episode, the 32 girls were whittled down to 22, and in the second and third episodes another 10 girls were eliminated, so we're already down to a manageable 12, which suggests that things are really going to start heating up tonight. But you know what else suggests that things are really going to start heating up tonight? This preview clip in which the anti-Semitic racist starts punching the window of a helicopter when she sees her son making out with a black girl.
Incredible. Obviously, this show is on the forefront of the newest generation of reality TV where the producers have given up even trying to pretend that this is the way things work, because none of us are actually fooled into thinking that Mrs. B got it into her own head to ask for a helicopter and a spycam. "As a mother, I demand a helicopter and a spycam. It's what any mother would do." No. This was set up by the creators of the show. And SO WHAT? The creators of this show are obviously geniuses. This is insane. I love it. Which means you have to love it. Rules are rules.
Posted by Gabe at 12:00 PM in Reality TV
Tags: Momma's Boys
So...that one girl didn't get a date, and a racist leftover from trading spouses feigns homicidal outrage over a minority in a hottub with her son.
Pass.
Score = 0
I see where she's coming from, though. She didn't even get a date!
Score = 14
But WHY did Cara even come on the show?
Score = 0
She wanted a date.
Score = 4
Hey, did this girl ever get a date?
Score = 9
By using context clues provided from the clips, I have concluded that Ms. Cara Quici came on this show to make friends.
Score = 4
That's so going on her acting reel. Cara belongs on a soap opera.
Score = 1
agreed, this show is amazing. my favorite part was when 2 out of 3 dudes were violently ill after attempting the obstacle course the girls had performed with no problems whatsoever.
confusing, though, how 2 of the moms look identical.
Score = 1
Wait. We're confused. So did Cara get a date or not?
Score = 3
Don't you care that The Bachelor starts tonight?
Score = 1
Would it be mean to send the Cara clip to friends who are having trouble getting a date? I am highly tempted...
Score = 2
Is "date" code for something?
Score = 2
The first time I saw a commercial for this, I was instantly reminded of 'Milf Island'.
Score = 3
But you know, on top of all the other shit, she didn't even get a date.
Score = 1
Okay, but did she get a date? Goddamn you people, I just want a straight answer.
Score = 2
Well, it's understandable that she didn't want the cameras on her! She didn't even get a date! That is SOOOOOOO embarrassing!
Score = 1
I guess no one ever told her you can get dates without going on reality shows...it's actually kinda sad. :(
Score = 1
Seriously guys, i am worried that this girl is going to go home and kill herself. I mean, she didn't even get a DATE.
Score = 0
i didn't even get a cake.
Score = 3
I don't think it's very fair that that girl didn't even get a date.
She came all the way to the reality tv show and didn't even get a date.
I feel bad that she didn't get a date! She was definitely cute enough to get a date.
Score = 0
Anti Semitic Schmanti Semitic, that girl didn't get a date.
Score = 1
Let's not leave out the fact that in this same episode, the mother's got files filled with background information on the girls, and it was revealed that not 1, not 2, but THREE of the girls are porn stars. That's what happens in real life, right? Your insane bigoted mom objects to your girlfriend and ends up being right because your girlfriend's bare cooter is plastered all over the internet?
Score = 0
Oops, by "three," I actually meant "four." Four porn stars. FOUR.
Score = 1
haha... cooter...
Score = 0
Best reality-show-existential-meltdown ever.
Score = 0
She dated even get a didn't.
Score = 0
Let's just admit it, when racists cry we all win.
Score = 2
Um, this show is the best show on t.v., in my opinion. I only wish that they'd drawn it out a bit more - they're already down to three girls per guy!
I must say: JoJo creeps me the eff out. He feigns standing up to his mother, but in reality he's her puppet. This became frighteningly clear in the last episode, when in a robot-like voice he recited, "The-one-thing-I-won't-stand-for-is-disrespecting-my-mother." Christ, kid! Cut the cord already! My fiance compares JoJo to one of those dudes who has just figured out how to get girls to make out with him, but then he drops them as soon as he gets som tongue hockey action. I feel like he's just on the show to fill up his PG-13 spank bank. I hope he turns out to be gay - then his mom will be BEGGING for him to date a woman of color.
In short, thank you, Momma's Boys, for giving me new people to hate.
Score = 0
Wait, did that girl ever get a date?
Score = 0