VH1 Is Like The MC Escher Poster Of Reality TV
Think about it! It's an endless cycle of deeper and deeper self-reflexive loops, and it's in every dorm room! ZING OF LOVE!
Anyway, after the jump, a trailer for the upcoming Of Love spin-off series Megan Wants a Millionaire, which I believe was originally called Trophy Wife (seriously), but probably got the name change whenever VH1 stopped handing out business cards that said The Classiest Channel Of Dignity And Respect. Anyway, I'm actually surprised that it's taken this long for Megan Hauserman to get her own show. She dominated Rock of Love season 2 and she dominated I Love Money season 1. But it's important to remember that Megan Hauserman wasn't in Public Enemy. Or Poison. Megan Hauserman's claim to fame is as a contestant on VH1 shows.
And that's where things are really starting to get complicated.
Look, she's good at what she does, whatever that is. And there's something refreshingly honest about VH1's complete abandonment of any pretense of these shows being anything other than attention-starved insane people fucking each other and trying to get their hands on some money, in no particular order. But how long can this go on, VH1? I know that these shows literally cost $14 and a bag of Lender's frozen bagels to make, and that's for the entire season, but at some point your audience simply won't have the pre-requisite knowledge to even understand what is going on. "Wait, so the star was a waitress at the restaurant where contestants on a previous Of Love show ate and gave each other handjobs, and now they're trying to find "love" in a group of dudes whose defining characteristic is that they've all had siblings who were at one point or another in the background of another VH1 show? And it's how many episodes? 12? But it will feel like thousands, right? Perfect. I'm totally on board for this."
Do you know what happened to MC Escher, VH1? He died. Let that be a lesson to you. And America's landfills are filled with his posters.
Posted by Gabe at 11:45 AM in Reality TV
Tags: I Love Money | Megan Hauserman | Megan Wants A Millionaire | Rock Of Love
Don't bite the hand that rocks your cradle.
Score = 22
You're right Gabe, as usual. But to VH1's credit, I did hear about this new and totally original show called...oh what was it...The Great Debate. It really seems like something that might appeal to Videogum's readers. Just a thought.
Score = 53
On a side note, If VH1 has any 100K a year marketing jobs available, I'd be more than happy to show them numerous ways to waste their advertising dollars (You Oughta Know artist features on Stereogum, full page I Love Money ads in Harpers, promotional Celebrity Rehab syringes in doctors offices, I got a million of these). I have references available on request.
Score = 17
In fact, she got her start on "Beauty and the Geek," one of the most respected (and decidedly non-VH1) reality shows. She came across reasonably well; but only because the other finalist was a raging epic harpy hose-bitch.
Score = 18
Yes! Beauty and the Geek. The last good thing Ashton Kutcher was associated with. Also, I spy and Ed Hardy t-shirt. (shocker) And that one dude looks like Gordon from Sesame Street on HGH.
Score = 4
Wait wait wait... a plumber is worth $2.5 million? And it's not Joe the Plumber? Oh... never mind, that's probably the least retarded thing about this show.
Score = 10
All I took away from this was "Oh my gaaaawwwdddd!"
Score = 2
cyber sex toy guy was also on millionaire matchmaker. i hate myself.
Score = 20
says the guy whos blog is plastered in one big ad for Vh1's "The Great Debate"
Score = 7
You're kinda late on the observation, Gabe. VH1's already been casting their contestants as "stars" of new atrocious dating shows. The classy lady that wanted to "marry" flavaflav has already made this 'leap.' And FYI, they don't even buy bagels for the crew on a show like this. You have to bring your own. 14 dollars people, we've gotta come in under budget here.
Score = 2
Huge balls Gabe. Respeck
Score = 11
Her face is like MC Escher of faces, and by that i mean looking at it makes me feel puzzled and ill.
Score = 2
It's hard for me to reconcile that most of these guys are self-made millionaires and on this show. Becoming a millionaire=lots of good decisions (hopefully). Going on this show=WTF are you thinking? Don't worry, though. They won't be millionaires for long.
Score = 7
It's hard to figure out who I'm going to root for (I'm not going to root for anyone. I have not hit bottom enough to watch this.) because I can pretty much say that each of the contestants is The Worst in their own special way.
Really, 00 Dave? The Punisher?
GARTH THE PLUMBER?
Score = 3
"I'm gonna show her what a real man is"
Says the man in the white tiger striped bathrobe.
Score = 6
I hear you but aren't all Reality TV programs about the characters? And Megan made herself into a great character- one you love to hate. So her being on this show is really no different than a celebrity doing it. As long as she's as entertaining as Bret Michaels or Flava Flav, so be it!
Score = 3
what mindless, artificial bullshit.
Score = -1
He was Millionaire Matchmaker TWICE. (I also hate myself.) I think he may be really serious about finding love this time guys.
Score = 11
anyone else notice cyber toy dave is the guy from both seasons of millionaire matchmaker? he wanted a party girl who was into swinging/orgies. looks like he's got a winner in megan!
Score = 3
Speaking of horrible horrible things, there have been TWO episodes of Real World Cancun so far and I have no idea what I'm supposed to feel about them. Gabe, where are you when I need you?
Score = 5
did bret michaels not meet the minimum "net worth" requirement? somehow the answer is related to his weave.
Score = 2
HOLY SHIT AAAGGGH! I might be mistaken, but fuck that, I am NOT mistaken: "'00' Dave" is actually DAVE LOVERING OF THE PIXIES. And the auctioneer is Rob Zabrecky from Possum/Dixon. Internet, I want credit for this discovery!
Score = 3
The ONLY thing that could make this worthwhile would be the final reveal that all of the millionaires are actually broke and the ghey. And then close with a giant homosexual orgy, using her tears as lubricant. Or her blood. Either way, I am cool with that.
They could still show that on basic cable, right?
Score = -2