Videogum Home - designed by Guilherme Rosa

 

May 15, 2008

Top Chef: Will No One Decapitate Spike?

I'm sure that I'm not alone in thoroughly disliking Spike from this season's Top Chef. From his inexplicable cockiness around far more talented chefs (Andrew, Dale, and of course, The Blaise), to his clearly pre-meditated decision to be "the hat guy," he's the worst. But last night he became The Worst. After winning the Quickfire Challenge with his steak salad that he claimed "would make people want to have sex after they eat this steak salad" he was given the advantage for the Elimination Challenge of having 10 extra minutes to shop, and whatever he chose would be off-limits to the other contestants. But instead of having confidence in his own ability, he picked things just to be a saboteur.

This man must be thrown under a bus. I know the public transportation system in Chicago is not the world's finest, but surely there must be a bus somewhere. Or the Ravenswood line. Look, I'm all for healthy competition and using your advantage to succeed, but I also believe in the warrior's code, and this unshaven clown is unfit to enter the ring. If Top Chef was Highlander, Spike would be standing there with his sword in the underground parking lot, and Christopher Lambert would be like "you know what, it turns out there can be two Highlanders, because no one wants to absorb your power."

Highlander reference, guys. We're doing great.

Posted by Gabe at 11:39 AM in
Tags:  |  |  |




7 Comments

Is he joking? Making a lunch box with no "Bread, 'salad' [lettuce], tomatoes, or chicken" isn't even handicapping people who have any idea how to cook. Oh no, the molecular gastronomist can't make a sandwich! Somehow I think he'll get by.

Posted by: Dave at 05/15/08 1:03 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Kinda reminds me of how Barack Obama sabotaged the Democratic race with his sneaky bullshit caucus victories in hopelessly red states, his sneaky/bad faith race-baiting of the Clintons, and his sneaky backroom stomping on MI and FL revotes. Why is it okay when Barack does it, but not when Spike does it?

Posted by: Clown Coffee at 05/15/08 1:54 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

I'm just sad that now Andrew's gone there will be 90% less f-bombs, slack to be picked up by Dale. Also, next to no exciting soundbites, except Blaise talking about his progeny (let's go make some little blaises).

Posted by: Katherine at 05/15/08 2:52 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

He's an Ashton Kutcher-esque douche bag, that's for sure. Still, I'd f*ck him.

Posted by: Rob at 05/15/08 3:07 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Spike is definitely a tool. Granted, Dale is a little crazy, he's a MUCH better chef! I can't wait until his lack of talent/douchebaggery catches up to him. I can't believe Dale didn't try fuck him up when he called him a little bitch last week. I'd have knocked that fucker out with a quickness......

Posted by: Jake at 05/15/08 8:46 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Agreed, he needs his head cut off. Oddly enough, he is friends with Richard (the awesomest one); they hang out together at the Redhead on 13th and 1st all the time.

Posted by: Punky Brewster at 05/17/08 2:34 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I miss Andrew who said things like "that gave me a culinary boner."

That b.s. little bit of fine print at the end of every reality competition that basically says "If the producers decide there's a character that is a total dick and not that good but he will up our ratings, he's staying" is the reason Spike still exists.

Posted by: hillary_b at 05/22/08 10:53 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Leave a comment


Staff

  • Founder/Editor-In-Chief: Scott Lapatine
  • Senior Editor: Gabe Delahaye
  • Executive Editor: Amrit Singh

Info

Contact

You Can Make It Up logo
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.

You Can Make It Up: The Terminator Trap

The Terminator trudged along the wooded path towards the lake, his gun dangling by his side, the taunts still ringing in his hypersensitive bionic ears. He stared at the ground as he walked, and didn't even bother scanning anything with...

MORE »

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time logo
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Funny Games

Do you ever eat foods that you know you don't like, just to remind yourself why you don't like them? I think that's a good thing to do sometimes! The worst case scenario is that you might momentarily have a...

MORE »

Monsters' Ball logo
This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.

Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments

Last weekend, something strange happened. Some of the Videogum Monsters created their own secret, password-protected chat room. In 2009! Incredible! I suppose every monster has his cave, or whatever. As it turned out, though, we already had a Videogum Chat...

MORE »

Double Dog logo
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.

Double Dog: I Took A TV Bus Tour Alone In A "Just Jack" Tshirt

The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...

MORE »

Videogum Movie Club logo
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.

The Videogum Movie Club: Where The Wild Things Are

I went to see Where the Wild Things Are on Saturday, but it was sold out. Ay-ay-ay. That was a surprise! I mean, anticipation for this movie seemed pretty high, but anticipation for lots of movies seems high, especially when...

MORE »