Real World: Brooklyn: Chet's Bodies Chet's Selves
Chet! Oh man! As someone who is well aware of the manipulative ways in which reality TV producers will force their cast into pre-fab characters to create dramatic storylines, I also feel like there are only so many amazing things you can egg someone to willingly say on TV. At the end of the day, you still have to work with the raw material. And Chet is as raw as it comes. In last week's debut episode, of course, we learned about his penchant for home-sewn purple v-neck cardigans, and his innovative use of the word "metrosexual" as a term of rock-solid heterosexual identification. Speaking of rock-solid, Chet would love to get another glimpse of Scott's rock-solid abs, if Scott wouldn't mind. Those are nice abs!
This week, the Chet train of confused sexual identity made all local stops.
Talking at inappropriate length and with frequent demands for visual confirmation about his homosexual roommate's penis?
Check.
Dressing up like King Gayvid of Gaysreal on his way to a nightclub that his homosexual roommate suggested in Chelsea and then, upon being informed that it was indeed a gay club that he would be attending, insisting that he was only going because he had nothing else to do but also saying the word "Chelsea" in the deeply mystified and reverent way that a young Bette Davis probably said "Hollywood" while giving her hair one hundred strokes of the brush before bed?
Check. This guy works it. And by "it" I mean "the part of his brain dedicated to spending inordinate amounts of time devising new but inadequate attempts to cover up for one's obvious sexual inclinations." Meanwhile, at the club that Chet would never go to if he had something else to do but it doesn't even bother him because there's got to be some girl around here somewhere who doesn't ever want to have sex and likes guys who WEAR EYELINER, JD has offered to pay Ryan $100 if he dances with a drag queen. When that doesn't work, he offers to pay Ryan $100 to let a drag queen kiss him on the cheek. Ryan figures this is no big deal, but at the last second the drag queen gay tricks him and kisses him on the lips.
Ryan actually throws up. Admittedly, he did seem to be a sport about going to the club in the first place, which obviously was outside his comfort zone. And everyone else in the house seems to think that it's incredibly cute that he is acting as if some AIDS just flew into his mouth and laid AIDS eggs in the soft lining of his cheeks. But also relax, Ryan. The next day he calls his girlfriend and tells her that he kissed someone else, and at first she is mad, because he's acting like he cheated on her, but he can't stop laughing, and when he's done telling her the story she says that it's really gross that he kissed a guy. Perfect. They should get married and move to Iran.
Sarah is easily the worst person in the house.
She exudes that forced, self-satisfied, over-empathizing pseudo-kindness that's so patronizing and condescending and self-serving that it makes me want to barf. The barf of the just. In this scene, for example, it almost immediately stops being about Katelynn and starts being about Sarah's ability to accept Katelynn. It's insufferable. She needs to tattoo her mouth shut. Meanwhile, Katelynn's storyline is completely over. There is no mystery there. Transgendered people eat chips just like the rest of us, two legs at a time, we get it.
Oh, can we go back to Chet for a second? The other thing that is so fascinating about him is that he has absolutely no awareness of what anyone else could possibly be thinking or feeling or BEING at any time ever. Like, last week he claimed to have no gaydar and had no idea that JD was gay. It would be nice if that was just a Free to Be You and Me thing, but it's mostly just blind, willful ignorance. Because JD is obviously gay. And then this week, JD comes home super drunk and starts complaining about the non-English-speaking employee at a bodega, and Chet gets in a fight with him*, and Sarah and That Other Girl break it up and Sarah is talking to Chet in the other room, trying to calm him down, and saying that it's stupid to get into fights with drunk people who are just acting like idiots because they're drunk and Chet says "I didn't know he was drunk." He doesn't even have drunkdar? I feel like this article in the local paper probably blew Chet's mind. But, to be fair, it has to be hard to figure out what's going on with other people, when you can't even figure out what's going on with yourself (i.e. your desire to sleep with men so much).
There's also a long storyline about Baya wanting to be a dancer but no one cares.
Next week: three of the most boring roommates and Ryan start hooking up, just in case you were worried that there wasn't enough annoying, uninteresting bullshit this season. Real World will be Real World.
*Chet kind of had a point in the fight, I guess, because it isn't charitable to get so upset just because someone didn't understand what you were saying because they don't speak English, and JD, who is obviously the biggest stick in the mud about everything and seems like no fun and would not be allowed at any of my parties, definitely has that second-generation-born-of-immigrants bootstraps conservatism that drives the few minorities who are in the Republican party into said party. And also can JD please give his sob-story childhood a rest because it's one thing to use that as an explanation for where you're coming from and it's another thing to use that as an excuse for acting like a fucking asshole. But the point of this footnote is actually to point out that while Chet was trying to be the thoughtful, generous one, as soon as JD drunkenly suggests that if Chet starts any more shit with him things could get violent he immediately turns it around and implies that JD should not make threats like that and that he, Chet, is willing to take him on right now in a physical fight, which is just such a perfect example of that hair-trigger Christianity which can go from defending the rights of everyone to be loved and accepted to just wanting to fucking go, right now, motherfucker. (Go = get fucked, because Chet is gay.)
Posted by Gabe at 3:30 PM in Reality TV
Tags: The Real World: Brooklyn
this show keeps putting my "hatefuck top 3" list in constant flux.
Score = 4
Same.
Score = 0
"hatefuck top 3"? WTF does that mean?
Score = -1
Chelsea is considered the "Gay District?" The village is gonna get pissed!
Score = 0
Thank you for calling out Sarah on her bullshit. You put into words why she's annoying when I could only muster a simple "Fuck you" to the tv screen. Also, Chet personifies my problem with Mormans. They may be the nicest people on Earth but their total lack of social skills and life experience makes them useless to me after an initial greeting.
Score = 8
Chelsea is one million times more gay than the Village. One Million. At least 8th Ave between 14th and 23rd street.
Score = 0
Are you and Rich from fourfour going to do a joint post about this season of the Real World like you did for Saló, since he is also covering RW?
Score = 0
The gay guy is the worst. When he leaves the room at the end of the top clip you can see he walks on his toes, like all odious homo- and metro-sexuals do.
Score = 0
Is that a real stereotype about Latinos? I thought it was just my Latino.
Score = 1
sarah = press-on mole
Score = 1
I haven't watched this episode but i don't think sarah turned it around to being about her when she was actually talking to kaitlynn, she was being normal and nice. we don't know what the prompt question was in the talking head so I think it is unfair to say she just makes everything about her. And she was a lesbian for like a million years of her life and there are all sorts of things going on in the lesbian community in terms of trans women, so some of the way she talks about her support for kaitlynn might be coming from that perspective. Again, I don't watch the show but she seems like a nice person to me. When people talk about things that are potentially stigmatizing, which obviously being transgender can be, it's nice to have someone there to say, yeah i understand dude, you don't have to explain or justify yourself to me.
Score = 4
chet's a mormon? i don't think you've mentioned that yet (if it's true). i haven't watched the show at all yet but for some reason i'm captivated by these recaps enough to be interested...if chet's mormon that totally explains all the confusion dude. poor guy
Score = 1
i don't watch this show, but i love how Chet says "girls, right?" like he's practiced it 500 times in front of a mirror.
Score = 2
sarah = press-on mole
lolol. it's called a monroe piercing.
i'm a fan of the show, but this blog was quite humorous.
Score = 1