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July 29, 2008

Mr. Boston: A Retrospective

thumbnail icon: Mr. Boston: A Retrospective

So, what most people have been wondering ever since Mr. Boston's stunning elimination on Sunday's I Love Money is what medium of entertainment will Mr. Boston dominate next? In the way that only truly famous people with tons of talent do, he let the world know of his plans via an email to a blog.

Unfortunately, unless VH1 stops being cheap with the people who make them rich, I will not go on I Love Money Season 2 under any circumstances. So unless they pay us better or I get my own show, this is the last you'll see of Mr. Boston on reality TV. But that doesn't mean I'm gone forever! I plan on starting a controversial, yet hillarious website in the near future that will undoubtedly become very popular and will allow me to stay in touch with my fans. It's a new concept that I thought of a few months ago and I can't wait to get the site launched. I can't tell you what it is yet, but as soon as it's up, I will be promoting it to you guys, and I'm sure everyone will find it quite amusing. So Mr. Boston will be around, just probably not on reality TV anymore. I'll be more of an Internet type sensation from now on. Until then, I hope I've given you all some memories!

Whoa, look out internet. I can't believe someone finally figured out a way to tap into the potentially lucrative but always elusive Hilarious Controversy market. It makes sense, though, that it would be a spastic over-sharing reality TV star with no apparent self awareness or impulse control.

So, Mr. Boston leaves television for the greener pastures of the internet. Unless someone on TV asks him back. But unless that happens he's definitely leaving TV. Unless he's on another show. But don't count on it. But you can kind of count on it. After the jump, some great moments in Mr. Boston history.

Before he went on national television, Mr. Boston performed stand up at a Boston comedy club. Oh, it's so funny. Wait until you hear his bit about raping someone until in the ass until they needed to wear a diaper for the rest of their life. You won't have to wait long, it's the first joke.

This is a compilation of Mr. Boston fighting with Chance on season one of I Love New York. No offense to Mr. Boston, but if anyone is getting their own show out of this writhing pit of mutants, please let it be Chance. He's like Flavor Flav if Flavor Flav hadn't turned his brain into a science experiment.

Between shows, Mr. Boston decided that he should give his fans something, so he made them this instructional dance video. And at 13,000 views in just over a year, it was clearly very necessary to make, and I'm sure the 10 fans who watched it 1300 times each have all taken the time to write him gushing thank you e-cards.

Mr. Boston's triumphant appearance on I Love Money.

Finally, yesterday, a video surfaces (via BWE) of Mr. Boston talking about doing anal. Whoops, I just pushed the button that detonates all the missiles and bombs and explosions in the world because I think we're done here. Bye.

Can't wait for that website, guy. Fart goes the dynamite. BLOGROLL!

Posted by Gabe at 12:30 PM in
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4 Comments

God his standup is abrasively unfunny. His website is gonna be the best.

Posted by: indieguy322 at 07/29/08 12:53 PM | Reply
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Sorry Mr.Boston, but you look like you have fetal alcohol syndrome. and i'm not even going to apologize if you really do have FAS. because you probably really do have FAS.

Posted by: sorry mr. boston at 07/29/08 1:24 PM | Reply
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His e-mail to that blog has made my head hurt. I have a baby on the way, and exposure to the stupidity that is Mr. Boston has to be curtailed or the child will have FAS by proxy.

You are right about chance being a mentally in-tact Flavor Flav. Not hard on the eyes, either.

Posted by: SailorAlphaCentauri profile link at 07/29/08 1:54 PM | Reply
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i know it's a horrible idea, but if they made a "i love mr. boston" i know i would be tuning in for that train wreck.

Posted by: katie at 07/29/08 5:27 PM | Reply
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