November 12, 2009
A friend told me last night that this was the second to last episode of this season's Top Chef. I don't think that's true. But at the time it made sense. There were only five chefs left going into last night's episode, so it would make sense for them to get eliminate one and then have a four-way face-off (Four-Way Face/Off is going to be an amazing sequel, btw, or is it Four-Way Four Face/Off? I don't know) for the supersized finale. Except that there weren't five chefs going into last night's episode. There were six. We forgot to include Eli in our calculations. Which I think officially makes Eli the "dark horse" contestant. He's the one who somehow manages to slip through the cracks, all the way until the end, at which point you are like "wait a second, I thought that bacon t-shirt was a gift of peace," but it turns out that the bacon t-shirt was full of Elis, and it was a Trojan Bacon T-Shirt. It's called history, and you should seriously look it up. Anyway, the point is there are six contestants this episode, not five, OK, so we should all just pay better attention since I am sure this is a mistake that every single person made last night without exception and I am not at all alone in being so dumb about how many people are left on this show.
Continue reading Top Chef S06E11: Checkout Time Is Knife O'Clock...
Posted by Gabe at 11:45 AM in ,
Tags: Las Vegas | Nigella Lawson | Padma Lakshmi | Toby Young | Tom Colicchio | Top Chef
latest by LaurenTamale
November 4, 2009
The Biggest Kirstie • Kirstie Alley is getting her own reality show about her "efforts to lose weight while raising two teenagers." I'm sure this will be respectful, edifying, and great for her career! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNN to your DVR!
latest by EtWB
October 28, 2009
Where Is 2012 When You Need It? • Jon Gosselin and the Octo-Mom are going to go on a reality TV "date"? DON'T BOTHER RINGING THAT BELL, TIBETAN MONK, WE ARE DONE HERE.
latest by davidcxr
October 23, 2009
Dear the Real Housewives of Atlanta,
Goodbye!
Last night, of course, marked the finale of your second season, so in some senses this could have been goodbye for now. A temporary hiatus, as you all go back to your foreclosing McMansions and pour white wine into your wounds. Brush out your wigs. Take a few months to rest your scream-muscles and your refill your betrayal batteries. But I'm not saying goodbye "for now." I'm saying goodbye "forever."
I mean, honestly, we can't keep doing this, can we? Don't answer that.
You were a lot of fun last year, in season one. We were all on board with The Black Real Housewives. And Kim! What an American Treasure she turned out to be. Not only is she attentive and caring towards her children, a talented singer, and the definition of a housewife (in that she is married and lives in a house, not an ugly duplex), but she's also just really pleasant to look at. (THE REAL OPPOSITES OF THIS BLOG POST!) We have all been so lucky and to have been able to invite her into our homes every week.
But things have changed.
Continue reading An Open Letter To The Real Housewives Of Atlanta...
Posted by Gabe at 3:30 PM in ,
Tags: Kandi Burress | Kim Zolciak | Lisa Wu Hartwell | NeNe Leakes | Sheree Whitfield | The Real Housewives Of Atlanta
latest by langford
The Bigger Biggest Loser • ABC is developing a variation on The Biggest Loser called Obese for people pursuing extreme weight-loss. Perfect. We're gonna need a bigger pair of Terrible Idea Jeans! Get it? Bigger? Because of fat.
latest by Sarcastically Misunder…
October 22, 2009
It's amazing that we are in season six of this show and they only just realized that Restaurant Wars is a ridiculous and outlandish test of absolutely nothing. "You have 45 minutes to make this abandoned warehouse look like an abandoned 'Chinese' warehouse in a test to see who is the best at a thing that would never happen under any other circumstances." So, for the first time in Top Chef history, the teams in this year's restaurant wars will not have to "decorate" their "restaurants," which as a viewer is an incredible relief, and I can only imagine that it was a relief to the contestants as well. "Aw," said Laurine, "but I wanted to go to Pier 1 Imports and spend two hours arguing over a pressed-tin giraffe sculpture and vanilla vs. cinnamon scented candles." Get it? Because Laurine is terrible. (FORESHADOWING.) Anyway, this week is Restaurant Wars, which is historically my least favorite challenge on this silly show, and this time it is still my least favorite but at the very least it is a little less my least favorite. Math.
But first, the Quickfire Challenge!
Continue reading Top Chef S06E09: Restaurant Wars Is A Little Less Hell...
Posted by Gabe at 12:50 PM in ,
Tags: Food | Padma Lakshmi | Tom Colicchio | Top Chef
latest by O*
October 8, 2009
![thumbnail: <![CDATA[America's Next Top Model S13E05: Menage À Barf]]>](http://cdn.videogum.com/img/thumbnails/photos/antm_5/antm.jpg)
[Gabe Liedman is a stand-up comedian, and is one half of the Gabe and Jenny comedy team with Jenny Slate. But at the top of that resume it states that he is Videogum's Official Expert on this season of America's Next Top Model.]
Fair warning: I have a crazy flu right now, so I am so high out of my mind on zinc that I'm not sure what's what. [Ed. note: GET WELL SOON!] Buuuuut....
YO. For realsies? Was that really an episode? Are you for realsies going to try and actualsies tellsies me that that was a goddamn episode of Top Model? I took two notes during the entire thing:
1. snore
2. where did I park my Kevorkian machine?
Oh my laaaaaaaaaaawd that was boring. Holy shit. Ho. Ly. Sheeeeeiiiiiittt. Someone BETTER refill Tyra's turkey jerky cabinet before next week, because I don't know if I can sit through that kind of garbage again (I can DEFINITELY sit through that kind of garbage again). Mama needs her salt to think!
Continue reading America's Next Top Model S13E05: Menage À Barf...
Posted by Gabe Liedman at 1:45 PM in ,
Tags: America's Next Top Model | Fashion | Tyra Banks
latest by Captain Ron
You have to give Top Chef some credit. We are already seven episodes into the Las Vegas season and they are only just now introducing the slot machine? BRAVA. "We can't just use a slot machine," said one of the producers to one of the other producers, "the timing has to be just right." Obviously, roulette will be reserved for when the chefs have been whittled down to the Top 4, and one assumes/hopes that Russian Roulette will be used to determine the ultimate winner. "In this gun are five snowpeas, and one armor-piercing bullet. You have 30 minutes to pull the trigger as many times as you can." In any case, it is no use speculating about the future. All we can do is deal with the Quickfire Challenge that we have today. And that challenge involves a word-game slot machine. Each chef lines up three words and then has to create a dish using those words. "Grumpy, Armenian, Licorice," for example, or "Sarcastic, Ecuadorian, Poison."
Continue reading Top Chef S06E07: Family Style Reality Show Dinner Party Because Of The Economy...
Posted by Gabe at 12:40 PM in ,
Tags: Padma Lakshmi | Tom Colicchio | Top Chef
latest by Mike Z
