The Wire Season 6: Taking On Big Blagojevich
A lot of blogs are passing around this transcript from the Illinois Governor's corruption scandal:
Get it? Because "shiiiiiit" is something corrupt politician Clay Davis always used to say on the popular HBO sitcom The Wire. That is funny, but I think we can go even further with this. And when I say further, I mean write fake scripts for season 6 of The Wire based on the situation with Rod Blagojevich. After the jump.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
MCNULTY is drunk. He goes to the payphone and calls Beadie who is at home wishing McNulty would be a different person.
I'm s-sorry, (hiccup), look, I'm working late on a--
McNULTY spots a pair of trashy middle-aged women giggling and drinking Schnapp's at the bar.
--police case.
McNulty hangs up the phone and wobbles towards the women, but BUNK gets in his way.
McNulty, what do you think you're doing?
MCNULTY
Come on, Bunk. Now that I am back on the police force in a surprise twist of events, do me a (hiccup) solid.
BUNK
Unh-unh, I'm not helping you pull this shit anym--
Bunk's beeper goes off. It is important police business.
We need to get down to city hall, right away. (To bartender) Could we get him some coffee? Black.
CUT TO:
INT. CITY HALL - NIGHT
MARLO and his CREW are caught in a GUN FIGHT with Governor BOD GAGOYAVOCH.
My name is my motherfuckin' name.
ZOMBIE CHEESE shoots CORRUPT POLITICIAN #1
Ain't no nostalgia in this BRAINS here!
MCNULTY and BUNK arrive on the scene, guns drawn. They take cover behind an overturned BUDGET REPORT and start returning Marlo and Zombie Cheese's fire.
Mr. Gagoyavich, sir, why are they shooting at you?
BOD GAGOYAVICH
I promised Marlo he could have the vacant Baltimore Senate seat if he gave me a million illegal WMD dollars.
BUNK
Fuck.
MCNULTY
Fuck.
Bunk and McNulty continue to say fuck in differently expressive ways for three minutes. ZOMBIE PROP JOE walks in.
Here is your toaster, Mr. BRAINS.
Zombie Prop Joe throws down the toaster and leaves. Bunk lights a cigar.
What do you want to do, McNulty?
EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - NIGHT
McNulty pisses next to his parked car. Bunk pisses next to McNulty.
Do you think we did the right thing? Letting those drug dealers shoot the Governor in the face all those times?
MCNULTY
I don't know if I believe in "the right thing" anymore, Bunk! Everything is so complicated!
BUNK
That's true! I had also noticed that. It's like the world isn't black and white, you know? It's shades of gray!
MCNULTY
Yeah, although selling a Senate seat to the highest bidder isn't really shades of gray, I guess. It's kind of just insane and super fucked up.
BUNK
Yeah, that shit is bananas.
Bunk and McNulty make out for 45 minutes.
THE END.
Posted by Gabe at 3:15 PM in Fan Art, Politics
Tags: Rod Blagojevich | The Wire
I think you mean Clay Davis.
Otherwise, good work. I need all the Wire references I can get! I miss that show so much.
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Is Ray Davis related to Clay Davis?
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Genius! I would pay good money to see Zombie Prop Joe.
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"Ain't no nostalgia in this BRAINS here!"
Genius. Well, actually The Wire is genius. But that line is close. Also, how could you write a fake wire script without including the best androgynous character of all time, Snoop?
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SPOILER ALERT much Gabe?! Some of us are Australians and haven't seen the fifth season yo! Shiiiiiiit.
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I feel that calling it The Wire Season 6 and putting it after the jump was as much forewarning that it was going to be heavily dependent on an understanding of the previous seasons as I was required to give. You are on your own on this one.
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i just watched 'vanilla sky' (don't judge me) and the actor with the little shiny eyes who plays clay davis was in it, and he said 'shiiiiiiiit' in that, too.
it's, like, his trademark, i guess.
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