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September 9, 2009

That's Your California Assemblyman: Michael Duvall

YIKES! Didn't he learn the lessons of Naked Gun? I mean, I guess there is some difference between going into the bathroom with a live mic on and making hilariously long and outrageous bathroom sounds at a press conference about ensuring the Queen of England's safety during her visit to Los Angeles and this, but STILL. It's pretty similar! Besides, everyone at least goes to the bathroom, not everyone has illicit affairs with lobbyists to the specific committee on which you serve, in direct conflict with almost everything that you stand for politically.

"We had sex on Wednesday a lot."
--Michael Duvall's Tombstone

Actually, everyone involved with this piece is pretty much a Quote Factory. "Your audio tapes, sir, your very sexual audiotapes, any comment?" Very sexual audiotapes. I am sure I have a pulitzer around here somewhere, and when I find it, I'm going to PayPal it to that guy. (Via TheAwl.)

Posted by Gabe at 1:15 PM in
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27 Comments

Ahh...poor Michael Duvall. He was always on the lookout for a microphone hidden in a salt shaker, but he never thought to watch for the microphones hidden in microphones.

Posted by: Jackie Jomp-Jomp at 09/09/09 1:23 PM  | Reply
Score = 38 Vote up Vote down

I sent him three notes, he checked no on every box :(

Posted by: TheJesusCodpiece profile link at 09/09/09 1:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down

Hey, KCAL - stick with it, buddy! It took Charlie Sheen 6 notes before he got his interview.

Posted by: whoa! profile link at 09/09/09 1:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

since even listening to this guy talk about sex is boring, i'm sure actually having it with him is a big ole snoozefest.

Posted by: southernbitch profile link at 09/09/09 1:29 PM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

I'm always surprised at how shitty other cities local news looks.

Posted by: Kelly profile link at 09/09/09 1:31 PM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

God, how embarrassing. He actually uses the phrase "make love."

Posted by: Lesley profile link at 09/09/09 1:34 PM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

Spanking and having sex a lot on Wednesday is not a real big gotcha moment. Let me know when they catch him on tape talking about butthole pleasures.

Posted by: Kenny Powers profile link at 09/09/09 1:36 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

I'm waiting for the "sexual, very sexual VIDEOtapes" that surely exist to surface. Fat family-values pervs always tape their kinky lobbying sex.

Posted by: ClownCoffee profile link at 09/09/09 1:40 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

I am really interested in seeing what his "sexual conquests" look like. Blabber McChubs can't do that well...

Posted by: whoatom101 profile link at 09/09/09 1:41 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

"Much of the conversation cannot be repeated on television.......but some of it can."

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 09/09/09 1:41 PM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

"Operation Hot Assemblyman"

Posted by: A Pretty Good Kisser profile link at 09/09/09 1:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Oh, Michael Duvall! Monday she can give you head. Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed. Thursday watch the wall instead (while she comes over in her underwear). It's Friday...FRIDAY, peoples, that Michael Duvall is in love. What are we doing discussing him on a Wednesday?

Posted by: Ron Jenkins profile link at 09/09/09 1:49 PM  | Reply
Score = 14 Vote up Vote down

You're boyfriend broke the number one rule of audio equipment: always assume your mic is on. He hates gays, likes eye-patch underwear, cheats on you with two other women, and has droopy balls. What are you waiting for? Marry him!

Posted by: Deezey profile link at 09/09/09 1:52 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

Its funny because the most interesting thing about this story is that a douchebag was caught awkwardly trying to impress someone with his gross stories of 57 year old 'sexual conquests' (a term I believe is reserved for use only by the douchebaggiest). But of course the news can't report a story as merely 'douche chill' so its like oh no what a scandal who would imagine a congressman could cheat on his wife. But really, what douche chills it gave me.

Posted by: Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF) profile link at 09/09/09 2:44 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Seriously, If you're wearing a mic, don't say something stupid! in fact, just try your best to not say anything stupid,ever, or talk about stupid things you've done, or, I dunno, don't do stupid things! Just try!

Posted by: LeMonjello profile link at 09/09/09 2:44 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

living in southern california...i have the utmost fortune of being able to watch kcal news whenever i wish....can we claim a monopoly on the pulitzer???

Posted by: Saad profile link at 09/09/09 3:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I am wondering about something in this clip. Why do they feel the need to block out the guys head that mr. duvall is talking to? It's not like he needs to stay unrecognizable because he did something wrong..?

Posted by: Sarcastically Misunderstood profile link at 09/09/09 3:22 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

How long before Fox News puts a big fat D next to his name?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mn7qCzV5sNM

PS: Check out this terrific story by my old colleague Scott Moxley. He gets all the grossest, greaziest stuff.

http://blogs.ocweekly.com/navelgazing/breaking-news/oc-assemblyman-in-bed-with-lob/#comments

Posted by: rebecca at 09/09/09 3:28 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I'm sorry, but did they say he represents placenta?

Posted by: bingo gas station profile link at 09/09/09 3:34 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I heard that too. Is there a Placenta, CA?

Posted by: Hanso  in reply to  bingo gas station's comment at 09/09/09 4:18 PM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

Placentia - but yeah, that's pretty much the joke. This kind of local EW is de rigueur for douchebag ville.

Posted by: Blondie profile link  in reply to  Hanso's comment at 09/11/09 2:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Damn, he's already resigned.

Posted by: rebecca at 09/09/09 4:17 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

*Dry heave* Ughhhh old horney Assembleymen *dry heave*

Posted by: Charlie Wildcard Kelly profile link at 09/09/09 4:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

What's eye-patch underwear?!? I try to picture it but can't figure out what the eye patch would cover...

Posted by: finnix profile link at 09/09/09 6:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

that's my boyfriend's dad.


Posted by: caringiscool profile link at 09/09/09 7:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I'm going use the phrase "That's your California Assemblyman" from now on to refer to creepy horny old men.
"Sorry, Gabe, but this is your California Assemblyman. Have fun at dinner."

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link at 09/09/09 7:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Tooooooootally. It's way better than 'that's your boyfriend.' That's your Representative! They REPRESENT you! Zzzzzzzzing! Have fun at dinner. omg lolz.

Posted by: Blondie profile link  in reply to  Napoleon Complex's comment at 09/12/09 12:33 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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