Scientists Discover Political Activism Anti-Matter

"Hello. We've gathered you all here today because you are some of the most intelligent minds in your respective fields. We have scientists from all of the major disciplines: space and chemistry and physics and nuclear and brain. All of the best science. The reason we've gathered you today is because as you may have read, it is an election year. No, for President. No, of the United States. Well, that's because it's not in any of the professional journals, it's mainstream news. THE IMPORTANT THING is that you are all brilliant, and whether you nerds knew it or not, it is an election year.

What we want from you is simple. Please spend the next few hours harnessing all of your brain power and all of your incredible knowledge on the singular task of inventing the single LEAST EFFECTIVE and MOST INSANE get out the vote campaign you can possibly think of. Bear in mind, this get out the vote campaign should not only result in ZERO NEW VOTERS, but it should also be HARD TO LOOK AT, potentially UPSETTING, and VERY RIDICULOUS. OK, science. You know what to do. Let's see what you come up with.

Hmmm. Jessica Alba wearing a Hannibal Lecter horror muzzle while her eyes fill up with tears of sheer terror (via NYDN). EUREEKA, I think you have done it.

Bartender, a round of Nobel Prizes.

Posted by Gabe at 12:45 PM in Politics
Tags: Election 2008 | Genius Bar

3 Comments

Political Scientists = Not actual Scientists. In fact, I think Sanitation Engineers have more brain power.

Also: how do you know that a semi-naked, gagged and crying Jessica Alba is not appealing? (I hate myself for that sentence.)

Posted by: bootsy at 10/02/08 12:52 PM | Reply
Score = 1

Does this mean that she has eaten the cheeks of Sarah Palin and finished it off with a nice glass of Chianti?

Maybe she crying because she thought it would be fun to put a muzzle on herself and then once it was on- couldn't figure out how to get the damn thing off.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that muzzles and Chinese finger puzzles are probably not part of Jessica Alba's forte; you know-"acting" terribly.

Which reminds me-Why isn't THE EYE up for the worst movie of all time?

Posted by: Selena at 10/02/08 1:10 PM | Reply
Score = 0

fap?

Posted by: trevormail at 10/02/08 1:21 PM | Reply
Score = 1