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July 8, 2009

In Case You Have Forgotten The Movement To End Fake Rap

thumbnail icon: In Case You Have Forgotten The Movement To End Fake Rap

It continues!

Perhaps the most pernicious thing about fake rap is its ability to turn every fake rapper into the Fake Rap Poster Boy. (How do we kill it?!) There has never been a single fake rap that has been so bad as to eclipse all previous and future fake rap (despite what the Super Bowl Shuffle would have you think). They are all equally bad in their own terrible right. Fake rap, like some kind of tone deaf phoenix, rises from the ashes with each new "song," reborn in all of its miserable, borderline-racist glory shame. And, of course, each new Fake Rap Poster Boy looks almost uncannily like YOUR BOYFRIEND. Spooky.

Take for example this local radio DJ's fake rapping about getting a speeding ticket, set to "Jiggy With It."

People still* think this is OK? They're like, "I'm going to do this because it is acceptable." (For lack of a better word, thanks for the tip, Colin.)

*Admittedly, this video is from 2007, but if you think that someone wouldn't do the same thing, overlaying a terrible fake rap on top of "Best I Ever Had" ("Best I Ever Sped") (sorry) or some shit, you are wrong.

Posted by Gabe at 3:30 PM in ,
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16 Comments

That man is fake rapping and looking into a camera while driving .
Corporal Joe Stockmanski should pull him over again and give him another ticket for reckless, distracted driving.
And if they can give tickets for general social douchery, he should get one of those too.

Posted by: Constantinople profile link at 07/08/09 3:47 PM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

Tickets for general social douchery, what an excellent revenue raiser. Fine idea. I think I could have issued about ten of those at my work this week alone.

Posted by: amalthea profile link  in reply to  Constantinople's comment at 08/17/09 9:46 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Boy, I'm going to share this with all my co-workers when I get to work this morning! It's going to be something perfect to talk about with Linda from accounting with the comic strips and plush toys in her cubicle! That "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" is some kinda catchy!

Posted by: nicolas cage in a bear suit profile link at 07/08/09 3:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

Search youtube for "Perfect Strangers Head of the Class rap" if you dare.

Posted by: Kiril at 07/08/09 4:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I don't know what's more sad, the video or that I actually know a guy who would be really into this.

Posted by: Al profile link at 07/08/09 4:18 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I think our mission is to thumbs down everyone in the comments who quotes the song or "lol"s.

Posted by: Sharktamer at 07/08/09 4:45 PM  | Reply
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THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T TEACH YOUR KIDS LESSONS

Posted by: bingo gas station profile link at 07/08/09 4:55 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Though admittedly, I did think that lesson was about trying to get us off dairy. (Huh?)

Posted by: Nazhgalia profile link  in reply to  bingo gas station's comment at 07/08/09 5:04 PM  | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Drake, If only America knew what you did before you started rapping. I wonder if you still hang out with Spinner? You still hang out with Spinner.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Posted by: I PEE GOLD profile link at 07/08/09 6:26 PM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

Hey, Spin taught us all a valuable lesson about forgiving and forgetting. I, however, can neither forgive nor forget this video.

Posted by: amalthea profile link  in reply to  I PEE GOLD's comment at 08/17/09 9:48 AM  | Reply
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If this includes everything Lonely Island has done, I'll sign up and send money to someone (except Lazy Sunday which gets a pass if only for Chris Parnell).

Posted by: robinm profile link at 07/08/09 6:33 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Ok, Mr High-and-Mighty Arbiter of Rap Qualifiers, what do you think about the new all-rap movie? It appears to be written by a Legitimate Rap Person, but also appears to have hit almost every rock in its path on its long tumble from the top of Worst Mountain.

Posted by: sam profile link at 07/08/09 8:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

oh jeez, michael rapaport. get it? because he has rap in his name.

Posted by: mcfuzz  in reply to  sam's comment at 07/09/09 8:44 AM  | Reply
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that can't be a real movie, it looks like someone shot this in their backyard and decided to use red water as blood.

Posted by: huh?  in reply to  sam's comment at 07/09/09 8:57 AM  | Reply
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i knew immediately (from sad, depressing years of experience) that this was some goofy Hot AC morning DJ doing what they do. they are a sad, pathetic, insecure bunch... and now he's a MEDIA COACH. because obviously. do the math.


http://www.onairpublicity.com/blog/

Posted by: practicallyinformation at 07/08/09 9:47 PM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

michael scott?

Posted by: magicboots at 07/08/09 10:42 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

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