Nope. No. Nunh-unh. "But Gabe, they have a website." So? Everyone has a website. Your mom has a website. It's called htttp://www.mommyshomepage.com, and she hasn't updated it in nine months. What is up with her, anyway? (Thanks for the tip, Adam and Antonia.)
At this point, it's only weird if there ISN'T a porno based on your favorite TV show. 30 Rock? Yes. Seinfeld? Yes. Cosby Show? Yes. The world is still waiting on a Breaking Bad porno, and a The Wire porno, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before those gripping dramas are turned into another thing that is gripping and/or being gripped. (I am so sorry.) Now there is going to be a Dexter porno, called Dexxter*, which is a truly horrific idea. From the very NSFW website PVN (via the Very Work Friendly DailyWhat):
Join sex crime investigator, Dexxxter Whoregan (Nikki Rhodes) as she investigates some of Miami's sexiest and raunchiest cases. Adult stars Lexi Belle, McKenzie Sweets, Kya Tropic, Lynx and more perform in some steamy scenes in this parody on the Showtime hit, Dexter. Fans of the original show will appreciate the attention to detail, and hardcore porn lovers will surely get off on this hot feature!
Um, someone probably needs to tell the porno industry that there actually is such a thing as a sex crime investigator, and that it's not super sexy at all. It's horrible and terrifying and very very sad. But I'm sure that the makers of Dexxxter have found a very steamy way to work murder into their porno. Do you think Dexxxter Whoregan (WHOREGAN!) collects cum from all her victims on slides that she keeps in her DICK CONDITIONER? (I remain eternally so sorry!)
I do love with these things how they always insist that fans of the show who don't even like porn will still love this. You know, because of the attention to detail. Ha. I'm sure that's so true!
*I hope there are still a couple of Nobel Clever Names Prizes left!
Yes, Internet, this is cute. Yes, Internet, we all love Mad Men. And yes, Internet, we are all at least somewhat nostalgic for our childhoods (Teddy told me that in Greek nostalgia literally means "pain from an old wound") to the point where combining something that we like now with something that we like then gets an instant Express Pass to our hearts. It's a deal! We'll have Ben Kosgrome draw up a contract.
But did this video make anyone else wonder what must have slipped by their young face when they actually watched Sesame Street? Clearly there must have been some FUCKED UP parodies (4 tha kids) when I actually watched this show as a target audience member*. Sesame Street presents Last Tango in Sesame Street or whatever. And not to be Professor Children's Television, but shouldn't they have been Glad Men at the end of this sketch? Or is it some kind of modern parenting trick? "When you're raising your children, it's all about the words you don't say."
Just kidding, of course, Internet! Everything about this is absolutely perfect. No one would ever dare criticize.
*Watched, of course, is a euphemism. I listened to this show. As a radio play. Huddled in the basement as our heroic war planes took off for Germany. The first time.
Fun Fact: Abby Elliott, from Saturday Night Live, actually did a Gwyneth Paltrow impersonation as part of her Saturday Night Live audition tape. It's true. What I'm saying is that this parody of the Gwyneth Paltrow roast chicken video is basically Abby Elliott's Amistad. She called back into the past, far back to the beginning of time and begged her ancestors to come and help her at the making of this parody video. She reached back and drew them into her, and they had to come, for at this moment she is the whole reason they have existed at all.
This is funny, but it would be a lot funnier if Gwyneth Paltrow wasn't already a parody of herself. Did you know they were thinking of renaming the Groundlings the Gwynethlings? No they weren't. (Thanks for the tip, Marc, Tyson, Ted, and Lindsay.)
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