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June 16, 2009

White People Should Leave The Ottoman Humping To Pretty Ricky

Woof, so this is a thing: the 2009 Air Sex Championships. NSFW, doi.

Obviously, this is just a harmless event for some salacious fun. Who cares?! Personally, it looks like a living nightmare, watching a bunch of sweaty nerds pretending to fuck their pillows but without the pillows while a bunch of drunk nerds cheer them on, but whatever! Everyone is entitled to find fun wherever they can! It is hard sometimes! Life can get very boring! But when they announced that the "anthem" of the event was R. Kelly's "Bump and Grind"? And then all those white people started chanting the lyrics to R. Kelly's "Bump and Grind"? NUNH-UNH! That was just too much. Come on, Sexy Spec! Throw down your gauntlet! These fools don't deserve to wear the baggy red panties! (Via Afrojacks.)

Posted by Gabe at 12:30 PM in
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16 Comments

An American Fat Ass

i would shake my moist beard sweat all over that stage. unfortunately, i would probably be disqualified for climaxing. i climax when i smell a cheeseburger.

Posted by: An American Fat Ass profile link at 06/16/09 12:46 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
Becca

my goodness, leave the baby out of it!


but yea, Dubya did fuck the world.... so, kahdooz that the winner and his/her thinly veiled metaphors.

Posted by: Becca profile link at 06/16/09 12:55 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
Dumbelina

Gabe, I'm serious--you've got to stop, otherwise I'm going to completely lose what was once a healthy and entertaining interest in sex.

Posted by: Dumbelina profile link at 06/16/09 1:24 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
TVparty

austin, sexas.

Posted by: TVparty profile link at 06/16/09 2:12 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Was that janitor really Jared Leto in disguise?

Posted by: Joel at 06/16/09 2:27 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
bengootscar

i think this is SFW because sadness is always encouraged around the office.

Posted by: bengootscar profile link at 06/16/09 2:30 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
jacob666

White people humps Ottomans like thiiiiiiiiiiiis.

Posted by: jacob666 profile link at 06/16/09 2:56 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
Lux

As an Austinite, as well as someone who has witnessed air sex firsthand (with fried pickles! Texas/drafthouse forever!) I'm here to say...
It goes from terrifying to awesome, inversely proportional with sober to drunk.
i'll get back to you with a graph.

Posted by: Lux profile link at 06/16/09 3:32 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

People shouldn't have to see stuff like this. Can we all just kick in and buy them a couple of blow-up sex dolls? I'll throw in a few bucks...

Posted by: Josh Rosen at 06/16/09 5:04 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Elliot

That girl that says "So i can go home and masturbate" real deadpan-like, should probably marry me. She is the only one making any kind of sense in this mess of a video.
They have an anthem?!?!

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 06/16/09 6:15 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

as punishment for winning, you have to real-fuck those judges.

Posted by: nanook profile link at 06/16/09 7:02 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Can you sponsor Pretty Ricky to come down to ATX to show us how it's done? Videogum presents the Baggy Red Panties tour?

You know you want to.

Posted by: chris at 06/16/09 7:19 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
kersypants

My parents live in Austin, and love Alamo Draft House events, but somehow I don't think they'll be going to this. Casablanca night > air humping.

Posted by: kersypants profile link at 06/16/09 9:08 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

i'm pretty sure that isn't what rage against the machine had in mind.

Posted by: Preston profile link at 06/16/09 9:30 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
RonaldSays

That's what thousands of years of evolution finally has given us. Darwin eat your heart out.

Posted by: RonaldSays profile link at 06/17/09 6:05 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

is that lindsay weir at 1:45?

Posted by: BFC at 06/17/09 8:16 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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