NSFW: Kevin Smith, An Adult, Tweets About His Wife's Taint
The filmmaker, Kevin Smith, took to his Twitter an hour ago (as if there would ever be an appropriate time for this) with an important update:
YIIIIIIIIKES. Obviously we should all be so lucky to still have an exciting and passionate sex life with our spouse after 10 years of marriage, but if we're really lucky, said spouse will not feel the need to Twitter about our taint in the middle of the fucking day. Seriously unbelievable. He went on a few minutes later to apologize for "the mush." Um, that's not mush, guy! Baby talk is mush! Cloying sentimentality is mush! THERE ARE CHILDREN IN HERE (here=Internet) (some of the children=yours). This makes Clerks 2 the second most important thing that Kevin Smith needs to apologize to the world for, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back barely even makes the list now!
Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in NSFW, WebJunk
Tags: Burn The Internet To The Ground | Kevin Smith | Sex | Twitter
Whoa, Kevin Smith! That's TMI, even by the very low internet's standards.
Score = 24
That would be more offensive if it wasn't so true. Apparently she really does pOwn his dick.
Score = 0
God, I hate twitter.
Score = 64
"Jesus Christ! There are some things you just don't talk about!"
Score = 17
KEVIN SMITH you bastard! KIDS can get all up in the TWIT ACTION so leave your own TWAT ACTION out of it! OKAY1?! JESUS.
Score = 25
I see what you did there
Score = 14
Meanwhile, in Iran...
Score = 33
Is the extra emphasis on WITH really necessary? I mean, the whole update is obviously the most unnecessary thing ever, ditto Twitter, but why scream WITH?
Whatever, I hate this guy.
Score = 5
the An American Patriot school of emphasis - an acquired taste.
Score = 30
Holy hell, you're onto something... An American Patriot, Da Cake Eatur, and Kevin Smith... are one. This is like the end of Fight Club or Sixth Sense or Sybil.
Score = 13
"I still like to have sexual intercourse with my wife. Even after ten years her vagina still arouses my penis"
See Kevin, it's not that hard to use adult words.
Score = 68
I was thinking something more like this:
"My wife and i still have quite satisfying sex, despite being a decade into our marriage. This is facilitated by my continuing to take great pleasure in her vaginal/clitoral/grundle region. It's really quite top notch!"
Score = 7
ONLY 140 CHARACTER ALLOTMENT!
Please.
Score = 24
I had to Google "grundle" and now you owe me an apology.
Score = 13
Sorry. I figured everyone would either know or figure it out from the original. Context Clues!
Score = 4
I figured it out from the context, but confused by how much it sounds like a mythical creature.
Score = 12
Or how about we just leave the vaginal region out of this altogether. Because if they're having sex, we can guess where his dick is going.
Score = 0
Despicably unnecessary. Shut your trap, Silent Bob.
Score = 10
So does that mean Kevin Smith already apologized for Chasing Amy?
Score = 9
I'd like to hear that apology.
Score = 2
I'd like to hear that apology.
Score = 1
Kind of a "make ya look" situation here, and I love it.....cuz it's Kevin.
I'd even kiss him after he nibble a turd.....cuz it's Kevin.
Not that he'd do it.....just sayin.......
Score = -48
Nibbled Turd is your band name now. Enjoy.
Score = 34
Pretty sure Jason Mewes hijacked his account.
Score = -2
Pretty sure Jason Mewes hijacked his account.
Score = -6
Par for the Kevin Smith course. Really.
Score = 0
I think Kevin Smith should have his title as King of the Geeks taken away for that bastardization of "pwn."
I've seen it "pwn" and I've also seen "p0wn" but never "pOwn" with clearly a capital "O" instead of a zero. That's like someone's dad was trying to speak geek.
"Hey fellas, I sure did pwan my wife last night. I'm so L3T that it makes everyone RUFL"
Score = 51
i'll be using RUFL from now on, thank you for that.
Score = 12
Here's to hoping those two tags never meet again.
Score = 10
It's insane, Kevin Smith's wife's taint!
Score = 11
She taint misbehavin'
Score = 6
These are the party days!
Score = 1
It's mostly the brown part that bothers me. Brown=butthole, so he basically told the internet that he and his wife enjoy buttsecs. I'm hardly a prude, but GAWD!
Score = 17
This is terrible, but let's be thankful he didn't post a TwitPic.
Score = 21
You mean ClitPic?
Right?
Score = 4
Gross
Score = 5
why... 'taint-area" (?!!) That's what really bothers me. He just had to cover all his bases, didn't he?
Score = 2
I think the fact that he used the word POWNZ in between the words clit and dick is worse than any other offense committed in that tweet.
Score = -3
Later he posted this:
"12 responses about how "vulgar" or "obscene" my wife-talk was... vs. 597 (when I stopped counting) "how romantic"s. Let love rule, Puritans."
I will let him make fun of himself.
Score = 7
Who cares? anyone who really knows about Kevin Smith and his wife know they talk about their sex life all the time. This would shocking to me if it were anyone else.
BTW- I enjoyed Jay & Silent Bob AND Clerks 2.
*hides*
Score = -4
God - you're a moron. This is Kevin. It is how he talks and is consistent with his public persona- it's nothing new for those who follow him. If you don't what he says - DON"T CHECK OUT HIS TWITTER! Idiot.
Score = -23
So I take it VideoGum doesn't listed to Smith's "SModcast". This tweek ain't anything different, except it's text only.
Score = -4
Well, I guess you're either a boob man or a taint man....
Score = -2
This is classic sex nerd shit. Classic.
Hey guys! I don't understand boundaries, and I really REALLY want you to know that someone actually wants to fuck me! Tell me how impressed you are!
The thing that's funny about his wife though is that she's not attractive. She's "hollywood attractive" which only means she's not fat, which is pretty ironic, I guess. She may otherwise be extremely charitably described as "a handsome woman."
Score = 2
To anyone who found it vulgar and in poor taste, it's Kevin Smith, motherfuckers, you know his potential to come out with profanities. If you're following him on Twitter then it means you're a fan. If you're a fan you know perfectly well what he might come out with. Tell me, who the fuck lets their children near Kevin Smith's twitter profile? That's bad parenting.
Score = -5
As for what the guy said about Kevin Smith needing to apologise for Clerks II makes no sense. If you know what his early style was like then you know what you're up for with a Clerks II film. If you watch it without knowing anything about Smith then you're an idiot and deserve to be shocked by a donkey show. Did someone put a gun to this guy's head and said 'if you don't watch Clerks II I'm gonna shoot you in the head?' Likewise, did this happen with Twitter?
Score = -6
Hey, Kev, the dick doesn't (in fact won't) go "in" the taint, and most ladies don't like you to go straight at the clit with it, either. I have no idea what you mean by "brown," but I bet it's gross.
Sounds like somebody needs to go back to sex school.
Score = 4
Hey, Kev, the dick doesn't (in fact won't) go "in" the taint, and most ladies don't like you to go straight at the clit with it, either. I have no idea what you mean by "brown," but I bet it's gross.
Sounds like somebody needs to go back to sex school.
Score = -1
Hey, Kev, the dick doesn't (in fact won't) go "in" the taint, and most ladies don't like you to go straight at the clit with it, either. I have no idea what you mean by "brown," but I bet it's gross.
Sounds like somebody needs to go back to sex school.
Score = -2
Ewwwwwwwwww. Dear God I'm never having sex again. Nice sentiment? But on TWITTER? That is unforgiveable. Sex w/ Kevin Smith? Spider dance! Get the thoughts off me!!!THANKS, Kevin Smith. Fuck I can't stand this guy. Why won't he just go away??? He is The Absolute WORST.
Score = 0