Technically, this STD-awareness ad from Belgium doesn't make sense in any kind of "useful information that could prevent STDs way," but it is funny (especially the twist at the end). And, um, while it's not as graphic as it seems like it's going to be at first, it's probably not really safe for work:
On the one hand, wow, Belgians are so much more open and cool about things than we puritanical Americans are! On the other hand, yuck! (Via Adrants.)
This is a controversial That's Your Boyfriend, because it can be argued that the fact that this guy is demonstrating a comical male masturbation machine at some sort of ridiculous sex machine convention (Comic Con?) is proof that he doesn't have a partner, but I like to think that you just let this machine do all the work and take his money, because you're a gold digger. Not safe for work:
If he invented that machine and it somehow works, I'm sure he's able to take you out to very nice no-strings-attached dinners. (Via Gorillamask.)
Last night, Showtime broadcast the 25th annual AVN Adult Movie Awards hosted by Greg Fitzsimmons and Tera Patrick. It was two hours long, so a little shorter than the Academy Awards, but with just as many see-through mesh tops and jack off jokes. So many jack off jokes. Jack off jokes are the Disney Dollars of the AVNs, you can use them to buy refreshments in the lobby.
The best part about the ceremony was how it mirrored a mainstream awards show, but clearly was not. For example, the presenters still read poorly written banter before announcing the nominees, it's just that the poorly written banter is about hjs and boner parties. And the final award is given for Female Performer of the Year rather than Best Film (although mad props to Upload for the win), and while Sasha Grey did cry during her acceptance speech, she also said "I don't even cry when I get fucking electrocuted, man." She's been writing that speech since she was a little girl. There were also plenty of awards that were not included in the broadcast ceremony. Apparently Transsexual Series of the Year and Best Squirting Release are the Scientific and Technical Awards of the adult film industry.
Apparently we should rename this site NSFWgum.com. What's up with the news today, world?
Author Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Choke) has a new book coming out, Snuff, which Random House describes as "a full-frontal Triple X novel that goes where no American work of fiction has gone before." Of course, Penthouse Forum has been going there for years, but all those letters are super real and non-fictional so they don't count. In order to promote the new book, which deals with imaginary porn star Cassie Wright, Palahniuk has given her a fake MySpace Page, as well as creating a series promos for fake pornos. The newest one, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Bang, was released today (Get it? Released? We win!). This may be fake, but it's real NSFW:
Yup, that looks like a really low budget porno full of sad people forced by circumstances beyond their control into an economic subculture that rewards self-destructive behavior. They nailed it. (Get it? Nailed it? We lose!)
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