Is Glenn Beck Bad For America? • Asks Time Magazine. Here is a sample quote from the article, taken out of context: "yes."

Comments (27) latest by Garmanbozia

Larry King Has Still Got It!

Last night, Larry King interviewed Katie Hall, a woman who was abducted and raped in 1976 by Philip Garrido, the man responsible for last week's Nightmare News. Obviously, one could wonder what the purpose is of forcing a woman who suffered so much to relive that personal trauma on a national broadcast. To what extent does that really edify us? It certainly has no effect on preventing such horrors in the future, or even of bringing justice to bear on this one. But those are separate, larger questions. Because relive it she did. From Gawker:

King patiently walked Hall through the tale of how when she was 25 years old, Garrido got in her car as she came out of a grocery store, jostling aside her shopping bags and then directed her down a deserted side side street, before handcuffing her and slamming her head against the steering well.

YIKES. But she was in Larry King's capable hands. And he followed up this unbearably sad story with the one question that made sense to ask:

Continue reading Larry King Has Still Got It!...

Posted by Gabe at 5:45 PM in Newsmagazines
Tags: Katie Hall | Larry King | Larry King Live | Nightmares | Philip Garrido

Comments (30) latest by kiljoywashere

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Glenn Beck Is An Idiot

Like, duh. He is not a very smart person. Them is just FACTS. Oh, he has some strengths. Like, he's very good at making sure that words are constantly coming out of his mouth. Some of those words even come together Terminator 2 liquid metal-style to form complete sentences. But they don't necessarily make sense. And they certainly aren't very intelligent. It's funny because this is the cover story of Duh Aficionado Magazine AND Old News Magazine this month. Their slogan is "We Refuse To Tell You Something That You Don't Know." It's a terrible magazine, you should unsubscribe.

But the point is that while all of this is well-worn territory, this clip from Glenn Beck's show last week (I must have missed it while I was busy drafting my letter of resignation) is particularly stunning. What a dummy:

Continue reading Duh Aficionado Magazine: Glenn Beck Is An Idiot...

Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in Newsmagazines
Tags: Barack Obama | Glenn Beck | Health | Idiocracy

Comments (94) latest by exmormon d

Alleged Pimp Asks Dateline's Chris Hansen For An Autograph

It appears that enough time has passed since the the Dateline: To Catch A Predator series, with its whiff of entrapment and suicide scandals, for its host Chris Hansen to come back with another Dateline hidden camera series, Vegas: Undercover, which premieres tonight. One of the amusing parts of To Catch A Predator that distracted us from the sad gross parts was how, especially toward the end of the series, many alleged predators, when caught, would recognize Chris Hansen and be almost starstruck by him, saying things like "I knew it! I knew it!" as if Hansen were Candid Camera's host Alan Funt (yep, ask me about my grandbabies) and not the harbinger of the official and total ruining of their lives forever. Anyway, in this clip from tonight's show, a man arrested for pimping recognizes Chris ("Was she seventeen or something?") and then can't resist getting an autograph from the #1 person in the world associated with the capturing of child molesters. Americans are THIS obsessed with fame.

Continue reading Alleged Pimp Asks Dateline's Chris Hansen For An Autograph...

Posted by Lindsay at 4:15 PM in Newsmagazines
Tags: Chris Hansen | Dateline | Vegas: Undercover

Comments (16) latest by Alleged Pimp

Andy Rooney And The "Big Awkward Boy"

Andy Rooney's monologue last night started out innocently enough: it's graduation season, which is a great time of year, Andy himself didn't graduate because he was fighting in WWII, but he once sat for several hours at a college graduation, watching over 500 kids get their diplomas...and then that's where the underminer part of ole' Andy kicked in. Andy finds himself wondering "who would be successful and who wouldn't be. Who would get a good job, who would be happily married, and who wouldn't be." And then he introduces us to the Big Awkward Boy.

Continue reading Andy Rooney And The "Big Awkward Boy"...

Posted by Lindsay at 9:30 AM in Newsmagazines
Tags: 60 Minutes | Andy Rooney

Comments (5) latest by will

A Randomly Selected Group Of People Complain About An Unstigmatized Product

A Popeye's franchise in Rochester ran out of chicken last week. I know that because it made the news. Sure it did.

What? Just a very important objective news story concerning a group of citizens frustrated with the empty claims of a popular retailer. Peabody. (Via EJB via GorillaMask.)

Posted by Gabe at 4:45 PM in Newsmagazines
Tags: Fried Chicken | Racism

Comments (68) latest by Blondie

People Seeing Jesus In Stupid Shit Will Never Not Be Funny

Get in line, lady.

You know what I don't get about this segment? I'm willing to accept that this woman saw Jesus in her snack, and I'm willing to believe that she thinks his snack face is full of a peace and sweetness that makes smiling irresistible. I'm willing to accept that she took her son's inability to sell the Jesus toast on eBay as a sign from God that she was meant to keep it in a tupperware next to her bed where it could grow a Holy Mother mold. I'm willing to accept that there are people in the world who think that Jesus appears in snacks and that God stops people from bidding on eBay in order to ensure that Jesus breads don't fall into the wrong hands. And that all of this is newsworthy. But what I cannot accept is the casual and knowing way in which everyone talks about "cheese toast" as if we all sit around every night enjoying a nice "cheese toast" because America was built on "cheese toast." You know, those old Norman Rockwell paintings of a family enjoying a "cheese toast" around the Christmas tree. If you look up "cheese toast" in the dictionary it just says "everyone's favorite snack that we all eat every day." I'm not saying that I don't understand what they mean when they say "cheese toast" I'm just saying that this news story is pretty cavalier in its assumptions concerning everyone's familiarity with "cheese toast."

I feel like I've really focused on the thing that's important in this video.

Posted by Gabe at 5:00 PM in Newsmagazines
Tags: Cheese Toast | Jesus

Comments (26) latest by otis-anne

Andy Rooney Made A Little Bit Of Sense Last Night!

Andy Rooney, who we all LURVE, did his complaint column, "a few minutes with Andy Rooney," about taxes on 60 Minutes last night. He has an idea for solving all of American's tax angst:

Pretty solid! Other than the fact that it would never happen or work. But these days this is the most lucid Rooney gets. (My favorite line is definitely: "I made more money last year than I ever had in my life." Somebody tell Andy Rooney about the economic crisis!)

Posted by Lindsay at 10:30 AM in Newsmagazines
Tags: 60 Minutes | Andy Rooney

Comments (4) latest by svenne