Sorry, Michael Phelps, but this is what the Olympics are like to me (via Boing Boing):
I'm only HALF kidding. This guy is the best though. "Hem, I can, hem, jump on eggs without breaking them, hem. To prove it I will, hem, now, hem, jump over the eggs. You see there, hem. I've done it. I've done something." What? That guy is your dad. He broke the world record in being your dad.
Posted by Gabe at 3:30 PM in Newsmagazines
Tags: Olympics | Sports
The latest from Harry Shearer's Found Objects, the series in which the comedian gets his hands on footage of newspeople at their worst moments, is all over the internet today. This time it's a montage of Laura Ingraham in the first few days of her canceled show Just In, complaining about everything, including a mysterious "Hispanic-looking man" who she claims to see in her teleprompter. It amps up around the five minute point:
It's no Bill O'Reilly, but yeah, she sucks.
Posted by Lindsay at 12:12 PM in Awkward Live TV, Newsmagazines, Viral Video
Tags: Laura Ingraham
The Onion people usually stay pretty behind the scenes, presumably preferring to let their satirical empire speak for itself rather than run around making everyone sick of them. And that's perfect, because it's more of a treat when an Onion editor graces us with his physical form and verbal opinions. Todd Hanson, who's been at The Onion for eighteen of its nearly twenty years (he doesn't look old because remember, The Onion was a college paper then), was on G4's Attack Of The Show yesterday, talking about Fox News, the success of the Onion News Network, and why The Onion has no competition because they invented fake news:
We get really mad at other shows that stole our idea to do fake news. SNL stole our idea when we were 8. National Lampoon stole our idea before we were even born, the 19th Century magazine Punch stole our idea.
Video after the jump.
Continue reading Todd Hanson From The Onion Was On TV Yesterday!...
Posted by Lindsay at 12:35 PM in Newsmagazines
Tags: Attack Of The Show | The Onion | Todd Hanson
Oh ABC Primetime's 5-part series The Outsiders, we see right through you, yet we can't resist your targeted reports from the intersection of animals and crazy people. Five parts is not enough! Last week, you pulled back the curtain on people who raise monkeys like children. Tonight, we'll meet Charlie Vandergaw, a 70 year old retired schoolteacher who Lives Among The Bears in Alaska. It's like a producer saw Grizzly Man and said "There has to be another crazy dude out there who lives with bears but hasn't been eaten yet. Bring him to me."
"There's no worse death than being eaten by something you love." That is probably...true? It should at least be a movie tagline.
Posted by Lindsay at 12:00 PM in Animals On Film, Newsmagazines
Tags: Bears | Grizzly Man | The Outsiders
Tonight, Primetime continues their series on "The Outsiders" (people who live among us but are weird in some way) with a special on childless couples who treat their pet monkeys ("monkids") like children. They're a lot like childless couples who treat their pet dogs like children, but considered less normal, or childless couples who treat their dolls like children, but considered more normal. Whatever, internet: crazy obsessed people and monkeys equals DVR gold. The preview alone is worth watching: the monkey knows exactly what french fries are! (Food!)
Posted by Lindsay at 4:00 PM in Animals On Film, Newsmagazines
Tags: Monkeys
Last night's #1 segment on Countdown With Keith Olbermann was an interview with Jason Bateman that started out about how Hancock is making him "a star at last," but then took a turn for the not-boring exactly halfway through when Bateman's Arrested Development co-star David Cross stopped by. After some gay marriage announcement jokes, Cross and Bateman fuel speculation about a potential Arrested Development movie that someone needs to seriously confirm or deny already. (Despite reports, they don't really confirm it here.) It's kind of odd to watch a Will Smith-obsessed Olbermann, a junket-weary Bateman and a who-gives-a-fuck Cross bounce jokes off each other:
Continue reading David Cross Makes This Week's 18 Millionth Jason Bateman Interview Interesting...
Posted by Lindsay at 3:34 PM in Interviews, Newsmagazines
Tags: Arrested Development | David Cross | Hancock | Jason Bateman | Keith Olbermann
A new Heinz mayonnaise ad produced for the UK features two dudes kissing, and it makes Bill O'Reilly so mad!
(via 236.com)
Bill O'Reilly doesn't quite know why he's so angry. He knows that this ad makes him mad, and he's pretty sure it has something to do with two guys kissing, but that's about as far as he's been able to get. It could be the mayonnaise, but that doesn't seem right. It's got to be the gay thing. Those gays are always ... doing things ... and it's just so ... THAT'S MAYONNAISE, YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITH MAYONNAISE.
Bill O'Reilly is a fucking clown.
Posted by Gabe at 5:53 PM in Newsmagazines
Tags: Bill O'Reilly | Homosexuals | Mayonnaise
The Creaky Boards have a new and presumably unwanted ally in their fight against Coldplay for allegedly but probably-not stealing one of their songs. "Papa Bear" Bill O'Reilly lashed out at Chris Martin for a vague anti-Fox lyric last night on his show, calling him a "pinhead." That must really hurt the Gwyneth Paltrow-fucking musician:
I like the way Bill says "Coldplay" slowly and deliberately like he's never heard the word. And Bill is always challenging people to come on his show by calling them McCain-level just-wrong bad names like "pinhead" or "fuddy-duddy." Has he ever heard of a booker?
Posted by Lindsay at 9:02 AM in Feuds, Music Related Content, Newsmagazines
Tags: Bill O'Reilly | Chris Martin | Coldplay | The O'Reilly Factor
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