Obviously, horrorcore is the worst, and people who paint their faces like genuine actual garbage clowns are hilarious. But somehow I feel so defensive of horrorcore while watching this segment. You leave horrorcore alone, you old, out-of-touch neden holes! With your silly, Specs Howard voices and your casual, racist insinuations that rap music and gang violence are inextricably linked. Then again, when that guy from Kung Fu Vampire (See you at New Moon tonight, bro!) uses a junior high school-caliber epiphany to turn the whole thing back on the news team by explaining that the mainstream media's reporting of violence makes the evening news the grandfather of all horrorcore (WHOOOOOA), I quickly went back to hating the people in the horrorcore scene. So, I guess I just hate everyone in this segment. (Thanks for the tip, Rana and Kim.)
Last night, Larry King interviewed Katie Hall, a woman who was abducted and raped in 1976 by Philip Garrido, the man responsible for last week's Nightmare News. Obviously, one could wonder what the purpose is of forcing a woman who suffered so much to relive that personal trauma on a national broadcast. To what extent does that really edify us? It certainly has no effect on preventing such horrors in the future, or even of bringing justice to bear on this one. But those are separate, larger questions. Because relive it she did. From Gawker:
King patiently walked Hall through the tale of how when she was 25 years old, Garrido got in her car as she came out of a grocery store, jostling aside her shopping bags and then directed her down a deserted side side street, before handcuffing her and slamming her head against the steering well.
YIKES. But she was in Larry King's capable hands. And he followed up this unbearably sad story with the one question that made sense to ask:
Like, duh. He is not a very smart person. Them is just FACTS. Oh, he has some strengths. Like, he's very good at making sure that words are constantly coming out of his mouth. Some of those words even come together Terminator 2 liquid metal-style to form complete sentences. But they don't necessarily make sense. And they certainly aren't very intelligent. It's funny because this is the cover story of Duh Aficionado Magazine AND Old News Magazine this month. Their slogan is "We Refuse To Tell You Something That You Don't Know." It's a terrible magazine, you should unsubscribe.
But the point is that while all of this is well-worn territory, this clip from Glenn Beck's show last week (I must have missed it while I was busy drafting my letter of resignation) is particularly stunning. What a dummy:
It appears that enough time has passed since the the Dateline: To Catch A Predator series, with its whiff of entrapment and suicide scandals, for its host Chris Hansen to come back with another Dateline hidden camera series, Vegas: Undercover, which premieres tonight. One of the amusing parts of To Catch A Predator that distracted us from the sad gross parts was how, especially toward the end of the series, many alleged predators, when caught, would recognize Chris Hansen and be almost starstruck by him, saying things like "I knew it! I knew it!" as if Hansen were Candid Camera's host Alan Funt (yep, ask me about my grandbabies) and not the harbinger of the official and total ruining of their lives forever. Anyway, in this clip from tonight's show, a man arrested for pimping recognizes Chris ("Was she seventeen or something?") and then can't resist getting an autograph from the #1 person in the world associated with the capturing of child molesters. Americans are THIS obsessed with fame.
Andy Rooney's monologue last night started out innocently enough: it's graduation season, which is a great time of year, Andy himself didn't graduate because he was fighting in WWII, but he once sat for several hours at a college graduation, watching over 500 kids get their diplomas...and then that's where the underminer part of ole' Andy kicked in. Andy finds himself wondering "who would be successful and who wouldn't be. Who would get a good job, who would be happily married, and who wouldn't be." And then he introduces us to the Big Awkward Boy.
A Popeye's franchise in Rochester ran out of chicken last week. I know that because it made the news. Sure it did.
What? Just a very important objective news story concerning a group of citizens frustrated with the empty claims of a popular retailer. Peabody. (Via EJB via GorillaMask.)
Carrie Prejean turned the video camera off, put on some clothes, and stepped out of her house. It was a beautiful day outside. The air smelled like apples, and the late morning light hit the world in just such a...
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
If you are a sassy and sarcastic young man in an American sitcom who represents the sitcom writer's desire that a nerdy Jewish teenager can somehow be the desirable romantic hero in this world, then eventually you will get a...
I shouldn't even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don't hurry, my facepaint won't be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like "hahah, you look like you're...
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.
The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
Uh. OK. Well, first let's address what this movie did well, like the disappointed parents we are (or at least that I am), recognizing that the negative feedback won't be useful or constructive if it isn't preceded by something positive....
