What Miserable Pun Will All The Hung Review Headlines Use?
HBO has a new show coming out called Hung about a school teacher who becomes a prostitute. It is supposed to be quirky and lightly comic. Well that just sounds awful. Here is the trailer, you guys. SPOILER ALERT: it also looks awful:
Wait, what? That's a show? That's not a show. How is that a show? This is an advertisement? Like in the way that an advertisement is supposed to sell you something? Because I am not sold. I am the opposite of sold. The worst part is that the pilot was directed by Alexander Payne. I like(d) Alexander Payne. Oh well, GOODBYE ALEXANDER PAYNE. You can just see the headlines now:
- Hung Is Flaccid
- Hung Does Not Satisfy
- Hung Is Inadequate
- Hung Prematurely Ejaculates
- Hung Is Like A Tiny Penis Compared To The Big Penises That Are Good TV Shows
- Hung Sucks Dick
You know, puns.
Posted by Gabe at 4:15 PM in New TV Shows
Tags: Alexander Payne | Hung | Penises | Thomas Jane
Hung: Is it in yet?
Score = 25
Hung is boring and offensive. Penis.
Score = 23
I anticipate a complete 180 from this Gabe. Payne + Jane = fucking gold.
Score = 6
It's possible. Perhaps I will be forced to admit that the puns all the Hung review headlines use are actually WONDERFUL.
Score = 1
The marketing team anticipated your reticence, which is why they created the Hung: Just The Tip campaign, hoping that if you watch the trailer you'll decide to just go with the whole thing because you're too tired to say no.
Score = 47
I felt dirty giving that an up.
Score = 14
Gabe, he's just doing this fuckin shit so he can make money to work on his more artsy, independent projects!
Score = 0
I'm Tom Jane!
Score = 8
I just want my kids back.
Score = 18
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vESW-UviFWE
Score = 3
If you watch Hung for more than four hours, call your doctor.
Score = 13
Oh come on!
Score = 4
I just want my kids back.
Score = 0
Hung low in the ratings
Score = 9
Hung discharges bad entertainment. I can't do this.
Score = 6
Hung = McG
Score = 4
I think you meant:
Hung Is Like McGs Penis Compared To Michael Bay's Penises That Are Good TV Shows
Score = 3
See, I laid out the blue print and you put it into action. Teamwork! High five!
Score = 9
Someone in the know has told me (I won't reveal my sources!) that the exec who okayed this is flamboyantly gay (nothing wrong with that SOLELY) and was delighted with the premise of this show, regardless of ANY details (for the scared-of-sounding-bigoted record, I find this just as not-worthy-to-put-on-TV a reason as some douchey jock meathead exec putting a show called "Stacked : The Bitch With Huge-Ass Knockers" on TV). But, who knows, maybe we'll get reviews more along the lines of "Hung has room to grow as a series" or something. Okay, doubt it.
Score = 6
Non-penis related jokes:
-Are you hungry for bad tv?
-HBO should be hung out to dry.
-Remember William Hung? This is like that, but on television.
Score = 19
I refuse to believe that any show on HBO could be worse than True Blood... I just can't except it.
Score = 5
Gotta work the director in there too.....
"Hung: More Payne Than Pleasure"
Also, good to see Banya getting work again, but unfortunately this show, unlike his Ovaltine bit, doesn't sound like "gold, Jerry, gold"
Score = 8
Forecast calls for hilarity when Hung ejaculates thick ropes of semen that is actually dramedy into the eyes and also onto the stomachs sometimes of you and your loved ones.
It's not TV. It's HBO. With jizz all over it.
Score = 6
It's funny because of reversed genders! ha.
Score = 8
I'm not sure what state this is supposed to take place in but public school teachers make a decent living. I think the average salary nationwide is a little under $50,000. That seems like enough money to keep me from selling my hoo-ha to the general public. Anyway, continue with the penis jokes!
Score = 4
He's hot though?
Score = 1
I can't believe they resisted the tempation of putting the silhouette of a penis in the negative space of the letter "U." I certainly couldn't, and now I can't get the Sharpie ink off of my computer screen.
Score = 17
I'm gong to call sub-par pilot directing? Pilots are almost always unbearable and I'm willing to say that there might be something there.
Score = 1
Hung Penis
Score = 0
Dung
Score = 3
hung
Score = 2
No.
Score = 2
Hung: Because that Weeds show is popular, we tried our own variation.
Score = 8
Why don't they keep it "real" like other HBO shows? Every time he opens a door it should be a guy. Whoops, that was probably in the Showtime pitch.
Also, Kenny Banya. Really? Not a good sign.
Score = 0
not so well hung.
hung like a horsefly.
hung just got out of a cold shower...no seriously...it shrinks...you've got to believe me.
i coudln't watch the trailer, just like weiner jokes.
Score = 0
No tagline. Just this picture:
Score = 9
Hung; thousands of your potential viewers just died on your face last night.
Score = 4