There's No Safe Way To Have Sex With Crazy-Eyes Nymphets
This is not the way any dude has ever lost his virginity, or come close to losing his virginity, ever in the history of the world:
At first you think you're being preached to, and then it turns into hard core Rock 'N Roll with statistics to back up its message! My favorite part is when the guy takes the condom from the girl and stares at it and smiles. Foreplay! (Via Everything Is Terrible.)
Posted by Lindsay at 3:30 PM in Instructional Videos, Music Related Content
Tags: Christian Rock | Safe Sex
"If they give them to you at school then they must be safe!"
sound logic, if I've ever heard some
no idea how many times i've whipped that one out
Score = 7
Especially relevant because of all the drugs I got at high school.
Score = 16
Best statistic: 85% live. 15% DON'T
Score = 6
i love the fun, wobbly word-art of "wages of sin = death"
Score = 5
if the wages of sin = death, the wages of not-sin must = eternal life
Score = 4
I think the message is not to have sex with the devil. Because that girl is terrifying.
Score = 13
I read Micheal Sweet that as Matthew Sweet. Close call.
Score = 4
Let's be honest. The only way I'm not having sex with her is if the Zodiac killer shoots me in the head before I unwrap the prophylactic.
Score = 31
Yeah, cuz Michael Sweet looks like the very picture of abstinence. Dude reeks of coke and boob glitter.
Score = 11
I love how he keeps looking down at his boner in the beginning of the clip. Like, "what's going on down there??? That doesn't happen in church!"
Score = 19
That was the first thing I noticed.
Score = 2
Michael Sweet just isn't the same without the rest of Stryper.
Score = 4
He made a pretty decent fill-in lead singer on Boston's "Whoops, our lead singer killed himself with charcoal briquets so we're gonna replace him with a guy from Stryper and a guy from Home Depot" tour.
Score = 3
Amen
Score = 2
Pbbbt. Dude's obvi gay. Game over, Christy.
Score = 3
this dude was in stryper. yes.
Score = 1
I keep school-distributed condoms in my glove compartment to seduce the boys with too.
Score = 9
There's no safe way to watch this video without crying from pain. Also, I love how at the end of the video she just drops the boy on the side of the road because he won't have sex with her. "No sex, no ride!"
Score = 10
Where were these sluts when I went to school?
Score = 6
"Abstinence rules! Playin' is for fools!"
Well that set me straight.
Score = 5
Is he wearing eye shadow? I think he's wearing eye shadow. Or guyliner.
I mean the kid of course, not Michael Sweet.
I'm totally going to see Abstain Live when they come to town.
Score = 3
Channeling Richard Alpert. Basically.
Score = 3
Did she say AT SCHOOL???? Man, if it weren't for that evil sex ed, condoms would be as hard to get as a a Snickers bar.
It's called CVS, people.
Score = 15
I wish I would have seen this video 9 months ago.
Score = 21
HANDHOLDING. ALWAYS COOL.
Score = 3
They really shouldn't have risked parking in front of that giant stage and movie screen, statistics have shown that 15% of the time those are used for pro-abstinence rock concerts; live and learn.
Score = 14
Ah, so *that's* the Secret World of Alex Mack....
Score = 7
I liked the cut away to a bunch of pixel-faced hookers.
Score = 3
Wow.
The guy at the end took the condom!
Didn't he see the band playing?!
Don't do it guy!
Score = 4
I love the disgust in his voice as he says "Where did you get that?"
Score = 3
I like that it's the girl who pressures the guy into sex. FINALLY, SOME GENDER EQUALITY!
Score = 7
As a (formally*) crazy eyed sexually promiscuous nymph I can assure you of two things: he is gay and she has daddy issues.
*ish
Score = 5
How many people got behind this? Those insane rock-n-roll lights don't program themselves!
Score = 3
Well what the video doesn't show is they both got STD tests months ago and they're clean. And she is on the pill, just using the condom for back up. Really the backstory to this is the guy just realized his is gay.
Score = 3
Well what the video doesn't show is they both got STD tests months ago and they're clean. And she is on the pill, just using the condom for back up. Really the backstory to this is the guy just realized he is gay.
Score = -1
I'm not kidding, I grew up in the South and our cable company didn't offer VH1 or MTV, but somehow we had 3 Christian music video stations. I remember flipping through and seeing this video ALL OF THE TIME. Memories...
Score = 0
I'm not kidding, I grew up in the South and our cable company didn't offer VH1 or MTV, but somehow we had 3 Christian music video stations. I remember flipping through and seeing this video ALL OF THE TIME. Memories...
Score = -3
Catchy tune
Score = 0
I got 96% on Expert guitar on this song in Rock Band 2.
Score = 2