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April 29, 2008

Scarlett Johansson's High School Video Project

I've been skeptical of the whole Scarlett Johansson recording an album thing. I've only heard the one song, "Falling Down," and it sounds like someone did too much Jesus and Mary Chain karaoke on the set of Lost in Translation. But now she has a music video.

I stopped watching about ten minutes into the makeup chair sequence. Well, guys, you should probably sink your crushes on Scarlett Johannson to the bottom of Whoops Ocean, because it turns out she's horrible. Sure, she's got the almond eyes, the gravelly voice, and she was in Ghost World, but when she met with the video director and the idea of her sitting in a makeup chair came up she was like "Yes, that's a great way to really express to people who I am when I'm just being Scarlett" (she referred to herself in the third person in the meeting). The worst. I want my ten dollars back for seeing The Black Dahlia. Again, I want it back again. I already wanted it back on account of it being such a bad movie, but I want it back for a different reason now. Thanks.

Posted by Gabe at 10:27 AM in
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19 Comments

you can tell she's deep because the camera shakes around a lot. it represents the boggling of the mind. also, it shows she's REAL b/c she uses a handheld.

she doesn't do enough falling down in this video.

Posted by: hardliquorsoftholes at 04/29/08 12:02 PM | Reply
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Wow!
Why, she's just a normal person like me!

Posted by: stephen at 04/29/08 12:26 PM | Reply
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Someone tell this girl that:
a) you are barely in pitch
b) you are an idiot for doing an entire album of tom waits songs (newsflash: you're never going to top him, why would anyone want to listen to this when they can enjoy the high quality original version?)
c) you're not a normal person: you are filthy rich. you are a celebrity. you do not struggle.
d) you can't play anything and retain no musical talent, you didn't write any of this, the only original thing you contributed was your voice....why should we care again?
e) the only reason people even bother with you is because of your big boobs and good looks. also, you've been in a decent indie film or two that urban outfitter kids freaked out to.

I love America, don't you?

Posted by: layingdownthelaw at 04/29/08 12:44 PM | Reply
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a) neither does Tom Waits
b) it's a tribute, you can't hate on her for being a fan, i don't think she's trying to top him.
c) that doesn't mean she didn't struggle to get there
d) i don't understand the first sentence. see my b.
e) i can't argue with that.

Posted by: Matthew in reply to layingdownthelaw's comment at 04/29/08 1:05 PM | Reply
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It must be great to be justified in unchecked criticism.
What easily arrived at opinions.

Let's all hate everything, that way nobody can criticize me for a positive view I have.

the music industry and people around it seem so depressed.

Posted by: andy at 04/29/08 12:57 PM | Reply
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Why don't these fucking suits understand that being in Lost in Translation is basically the equivalent of being in 8 Wes Anderson movies?

Posted by: chriso at 04/29/08 1:14 PM | Reply
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a) tom waits doesn't attempt to which is the difference between the two. how could you not figure that out?
b) its a tribute? even worse. a tribute from someone without any talent? if I was tom waits, i would be insulted.
c) she was born into acting. when your 14 years old and starring in films with robert redford, I don't think you're struggling in life.
d) she didn't write any of the music, or lyrics....nor did she play any instruments on the album. why should I care about some actress's voice when there are plenty of other quality artists more deserving of the attention and label support?
e) this is the only reason anyone cares, and the only reason she gets an album put out with david bowie on it in the first place. It's all because she is a celebrity.
f) stop defending celebrities.

Posted by: layingdownthelaw at 04/29/08 1:24 PM | Reply
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I think the hate for this project might not be rooted in the lack of talent or celebrity in the project but instead in the sad realization that this probably will be the best selling collection of Tom Waits songs to ever be released. On top of that, a bunch of brain dead teenagers will hear it and then seek out Tom and hate him. It is at that point that I will cry or shoot something.
I once heard a 19 year old say, "I think Joaquim Phoenix is a better singer than Johnny Cash". I imagine that there will be a similar reaction when this album is released.

Posted by: Larry at 04/29/08 2:24 PM | Reply
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I rarely advocate violence but you should’ve punched him in the face.

Posted by: Matthew profile link in reply to Larry's comment at 04/29/08 3:16 PM | Reply
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Why is Salman Rushdie in her video? Does he even realize he's in her video?

Posted by: Nik at 04/29/08 2:26 PM | Reply
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Mark

Wow, this is pretty terrible.

Posted by: Mark profile link at 04/29/08 2:39 PM | Reply
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not so good
but scarlett is hot....for real

Posted by: joe at 04/29/08 3:39 PM | Reply
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That is some serious suicide music right there.

Posted by: anon at 04/29/08 7:30 PM | Reply
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wtf? was that salmon rushdie? what is scar jo doing to these talented men to make them overlook the fact that she is the snakes on a plane of people? she better have swallowed that's all i'm saying...

Posted by: action bastard profile link at 04/29/08 8:32 PM | Reply
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i think the video is best summed up in the last few seconds ... all smiles, waves, and as the window rolls up, a long exhale. well played ms. johansson, well played.

Posted by: pooty at 04/29/08 9:27 PM | Reply
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I loved David Bowie in the backing vocals! They could take her voice off and leave only his!

Posted by: Amy at 04/29/08 10:15 PM | Reply
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i'm going the uncool route here and saying this song is a beauty.

Posted by: tennessee at 04/30/08 7:50 AM | Reply
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sup beach house

Posted by: peep at 05/01/08 11:52 AM | Reply
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omg.. good work, bro

Posted by: fredapeFearf at 05/07/08 5:31 PM | Reply
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