R. Kelly Made Keri Hilson A Chocohollic
"Number One" video, you guys (SPOILER ALERT: R. Kelly likes sex):
I have no idea why R. Kelly isn't in jail. And I'm not talking about the make believe Haha Jail where we put the world's Paltrows and the Heigls. I'm talking about real life jail, Big Boy Jail, where people go after peeing on children. That jail. But he isn't, and that lapse in human justice isn't my fault. I'm not a judge or even a Prison Transport Bus Driver. So I get to enjoy his crazy town fuck music with a guilt-free conscience. Besides, a lot of you cats be faking when it come to making love (huh? I don't know. Take your clothes off).
Posted by Gabe at 4:15 PM in Music Related Content
Tags: Jail | Keri Hilson | R. Kelly | Sex
Oh I get it. You think because he was accused of doing something and locked up but not because he's black he must be guilty! Aha! Racist. R. Kelly you can come pee on me if that is something you'd lik eto do to pass your time on days!!! So sexxxy!
Score = -13
I'll upvote you, because you're totally begging for it, Seth.
Score = 4
Can I pee on you?
Score = 6
I went to high school with the girl that he peed on. She was his goddaughter (seriously) and a very nice young lady. I also knew a lot of the people who testified against him in the trial, and um, he should definitely be in jail.
Somewhat unrelated, but R. Kelly also hangs out late-night style in Chicago's Rock and Roll McDonald's on the weekends and attempts to give out all THREE of his cell phone numbers (different area codes, duh) to drunk young ladies who have the misfortune of walking past him while he is sitting ON TOP OF A GARBAGE CAN. In a McDonald's. Not that I've experienced this personally. (My friends have experienced this personally).
Score = 19
There's a Rock and Roll McDonald's in Chicago? An actual Rock and Roll one?
Score = 1
Yep. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_N_Roll_McDonald's Incidentally, Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's, ALSO went to my high school. Alma mater of VIPs, apparently. HA.
Score = 0
Why have your friends experienced this and never taken you along? It's R.Kelly on a trash can! Go get a picture with the man.
Score = 7
Actually, this whole "R. Kelly sitting on a trash can" thing reminds me of the McDonalds that I went to as a child. My McDonalds totally had a life-size statue of Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench where children could go up to him and sit there with him. Sure it was lame, and really creepy now that I think about it, but it was totally awesome when I was a kid. However, now all I can think of is R. Kelly dressed up like Ronald McDonald sitting on a trash can trying to pee on young children. My childhood is ruined!
Score = 0
You know my life ain't gonna be complete until I turn Passerby's face into a toilet seat...I gon' piss on him.
Score = 2
Isn't she the one who pissed off Mr. Chi-City? What a bitch.
Score = 8
She left him with a stack of cds. She really doesn't have what it takes to be a big star.
Score = 8
First Keri Hilson screws over Mr. Chi City and now she's in this garbage video. Can we agree that she should at least go to Paltrow/Heigel State Penitentiary?
Score = 6
"My musical inspirations: Autotune The News."
-R. Kelly's My$pace
Score = 8
Well, I like the WGCI shoutoutzz. It's like I'm in the car and my sister has control of the radio in here!
I'm mildly disturbed though by the lack of inventiveness lately in pop music metaphors for crazy hot awesome sex. First "Birthday Sex" and now "Number one sex that we're havin' here"? That's not only really lazy but it's grammatically incorrect! What are you teaching the children with that kind of grammar, Kells? (I call him Kells because we're friends)
Score = 5
LOLOLOL. "Number one"?
Very many props, Mr Kelly.
Score = 7
The people in this video think they're so cool but they're not.
Score = 0
Anyone else find it Ironic that R. Kelly just made a song dedicated to "number 1?"
Score = 16
This video says a lot about life. And about cat massage. And about sex.
Score = 5
let me remind you that he is the king of r&b
Score = -3
Please Please Please tell me "I'll go Number One all over you" is a lyric in this song. He already made the video for it, so the song was inevitable.
Score = 7
Can you imagine having sex with someone who brings up "haters" during the act. "This is a lot of consensual, healthy fun! Doesn't your boss hate you? And that guy at the bar was being really threatening. You're very good looking!"
Score = 2
I'm at jury duty right now! I hope I get the chance to set a guilty rapper free. But only if they are a grown ass man who is fiiine as hayell!!!
Score = 0
What is Chocohol?
Score = 1
That Mcdonalds hasnt been a rock n roll mcdonalds for quite some time.
Score = 0