Videogum Home - designed by Guilherme Rosa

 

August 20, 2009

Jay-Z Runs This Town (With The Help Of His Aides, Rihanna And Kanye West)

In the Revolution (or the Apocalypse) it is impossible to tell how things are going to shake out. No one realizes what they are capable of until that realization is forced upon them. Are you a leader, or a coward? You don't know. You can't know. You will find out, though. The new you will be forged by force in the fires. And then, when the fighting has subsided, late one night on the outskirts of the ruined, abandoned city, eating precious beans from a discovered can with your dirt-encrusted fingers, in a momentary lapse of your battle-hardened guard, you will return, briefly, through conversation and companionship, to a time of human civility. Everyone will share their stories, who they were before all of This. Where they came from. Whom they loved. But one figure will of course remain silent. Until finally an arrogant, or perhaps just curious, fellow warrior/survivor will turn to the leader of the camp and say "what about you, sir? What did you do before the world ended?" Everyone waits with bated breath. Was he a military commander? A doctor? A school-teacher? He will pull his hood down to gather around his neck, his eyes dark-ringed with exhaustion, a look of age-old worry on his face. "I was one of the most famous rappers in the world." People shrug and go silent. We've all lost something important that we'll never get back, you know.

P.S. "I"m beasting off the Riesling"? Really, Kanye? REALLY?

Posted by Gabe at 9:30 AM in
Tags:  |  |




34 Comments

Bubbles

We are building a Fighting Force of Extraordinary Magnitude.

We forge our spirits in the traditions of our ancestors.

You have our gratitude.

Posted by: Bubbles profile link at 08/20/09 9:36 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Ya know, I thought those Twilight cruises sounded really weird and goofy. Looks like you just have to book the right one.

Posted by: Gmarley at 08/20/09 9:45 AM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
Becca

Boogie Town 2: Run This Town Tonight

Posted by: Becca profile link at 08/20/09 9:48 AM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down
tremendous_potential

I was hoping for a telekinetic battle dance to break out. Dystopian!

Posted by: tremendous_potential profile link at 08/20/09 9:53 AM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
tremendous_potential

missed it by thaaat much!

Posted by: tremendous_potential profile link in reply to tremendous_potential's comment at 08/20/09 9:54 AM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Captain Boring of the S.S. Shut Up

I thought the new Mad Max movie was going to be animated?

Posted by: Captain Boring of the S.S. Shut Up profile link at 08/20/09 9:57 AM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
whoa!

cause I'm mean-o, off the Pinot...

Posted by: whoa! profile link at 08/20/09 10:02 AM | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down
Godsauce

I'm like Touvier off the Cabernet.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link in reply to whoa!'s comment at 08/20/09 11:18 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
Sarcastically Misunderstood

Those sunglasses Rihanna is wearing must be difficult to look through...

Posted by: Sarcastically Misunderstood profile link at 08/20/09 10:06 AM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
John Ham

"I got so many bullets, I don't even need a gun" - Jay-Z

Posted by: John Ham profile link at 08/20/09 10:08 AM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

"I got so many bullets, I don't even need a gun" - Jay-Z's Tombstone

Posted by: Sam in reply to John Ham's comment at 08/21/09 12:39 AM | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down
Gary Meadows

At least there's no shortage of designer sunglasses after the Apocalypse.

Posted by: Gary Meadows profile link at 08/20/09 10:20 AM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
booferama

Dear Jay-Z and Kanye,


I like your music. A lot. (Most of it.) But at a certain point, you have to stop drinking the Kool-Aid of your own mythologizing.


Sincerely,
God


P.S. I like the Riesling line.

Posted by: booferama profile link at 08/20/09 10:20 AM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
ber

What's with this trend of women not wearing pants?

Posted by: ber profile link at 08/20/09 10:31 AM | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down
Calliwell

If I could upvote you forever, I would.

Posted by: Calliwell profile link in reply to ber's comment at 08/20/09 10:40 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Sarcastically Misunderstood

I hadn't even noticed there were no pants on females in this clip...
I'm getting used to it! help!

Posted by: Sarcastically Misunderstood profile link in reply to ber's comment at 08/20/09 1:31 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

Forget it Jake, it's Run This Town

Posted by: Dan at 08/20/09 10:34 AM | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down
Roosevelt Franklin

Man, they really nailed the pagan/Juggalo Gathering aesthetic feel and atmosphere that the Apocalypse will surely have, all the way down to the sacrificial goat's bleating/Rihanna.
That Kanye and Jay-Z sure know how to savoir some faire.

Posted by: Roosevelt Franklin profile link at 08/20/09 10:42 AM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
PattyO

pants? where we're going, we won't need pants.
(also, where are we going? i'm confused by all of this.)

Posted by: PattyO profile link at 08/20/09 10:48 AM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
AwkwardPants

Jay-Z is the Cher of hip-hop. Retirement tour, holla!

Posted by: AwkwardPants profile link at 08/20/09 10:52 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
someone

ā€œI’m just tryin to change the color on your mood ring.ā€

I am disappointed Kanye wasted an opportunity to reference Thomas J and bee stings.

Posted by: someone profile link at 08/20/09 11:13 AM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

hats off to you! somewhere, anna chlumsky just got a chill and isn't sure why...

Posted by: sally in reply to someone's comment at 08/20/09 12:16 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF)

Is there anything wrong with enjoying the Kim Zolszniak song more than this? I'm not being snarky here; this song is boring, Kim's is entertaining. Game. Set. Match.

Posted by: Ben (waiting for the perfect GIF) profile link at 08/20/09 11:14 AM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I want to like Rihanna, but she always comes off as someone incrediblyl self-important who wears ridiculous outfits. And yes, I am aware of the irony of saying this about a video that also prominently features Kanye.

Posted by: Julia profile link at 08/20/09 12:49 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Is it just me, or does it sound like an angry duck is quacking throughout this song? It's like they used a duck for a metronome.

Posted by: yapplebee profile link at 08/20/09 1:11 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
Funtastik

Nothing snarky to say here. I enjoy this song and I like this video. Rihanna's outfits look great and I definitely want to snag that hoodie.

Posted by: Funtastik profile link at 08/20/09 1:39 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
The N

Jay-Z is slipping, I remember back in 96 the entire city was his, now we're questioning if he even runs this town? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Also, Rihanna laughing through out Kanye's verse made it almost tolerable.

Posted by: The N profile link at 08/20/09 2:10 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
bankcashmoney

I like to imagine their gang meeting the cannibal gang from The Road. I'm sure those guys can show the how to do the Apocalypse OLD SCHOOL. That would be OFF-THE-HOOK.

Posted by: bankcashmoney profile link at 08/20/09 5:12 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
langford

If The Road needed anything, it was more hip-hop danceoffs.

Posted by: langford profile link in reply to bankcashmoney's comment at 08/20/09 7:31 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Neat-o literary reference, Racisty Q. McSnob.

Posted by: TheLibrarian in reply to bankcashmoney's comment at 08/21/09 9:00 AM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
Elliot

"Beasting off the riesling" isn't even the problem i have with this song. It's right after that when he says that his dick just made it out of the precinct?

Doesn't that mean your dick was in a police station, Kanye? That's.... maybe you should think your rhymes through.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 08/20/09 6:47 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down

uh, he didn't say that.

Posted by: cookie in reply to Elliot's comment at 08/20/09 7:54 PM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down
Elliot

Thanks for clearing that up!

Posted by: Elliot profile link in reply to cookie's comment at 08/20/09 8:47 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Brains

will the future apocalypse be this mediocre? mmmhmhmhm.

Posted by: Brains profile link at 08/21/09 1:19 AM | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

Leave a comment


Staff

  • Founder/Editor-In-Chief: Scott Lapatine
  • Senior Editor: Gabe Delahaye
  • Executive Editor: Amrit Singh

Info

Contact

You Can Make It Up logo
Gabe loves fan fiction. You Can Make It Up features his own personal alternate adventures starring some of our favorite characters.

You Can Make It Up: Rip Torn Gambles On The Puppy Bowl

Rip Torn's eyes would barely open and his face was a ravaged, haggard, stubbly mess. His chapped lips stuck together, and the pavement had left a red, mottled impression against his cheek. He looked around blearily, barely able to focus...

MORE »

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time logo
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.

The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Serendipity

You know, the truth is, I actually like romantic comedies. I am man enough to admit that. We all would love to live in a world of love and friendship and gentle laughter. Why not? You think I want it...

MORE »

Monsters' Ball logo
This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.

Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments

In the future, when the ultra-light telepathic super-mecha, derived from the core technology of the Cybertronics "Real Boys" line of love children, are sifting through the ice wastes for any remnants of the long extinct human race that once created...

MORE »

Double Dog logo
Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.

Double Dog: I Took A TV Bus Tour Alone In A "Just Jack" Tshirt

The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...

MORE »

Videogum Movie Club logo
Let's all go to the movies, and let's all see the same movie, and let's discuss it here.

The Videogum Movie Club: Avatar

"Whoa." --Kebanu Roves It is weird that you can't do things normally in New York sometimes. Like, I'm so sorry that I ate an early dinner before going to see Avatar on Friday night the way that a HUMAN BEING...

MORE »