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October 12, 2009

It's Official, Everyone Gets So Old

thumbnail icon: It's Official, Everyone Gets So Old

It can be difficult to remember in the flush and fury of youth that eventually you will be old. Old in body, yes, and face, with deteriorating health and a tiny breakfast plate (next to your actual breakfast plate) filled each morning anew with the various pills and remedies that you need to continue. But old in another way too. You will be old in such a way that generation gaps become generation chasms. You will be old in such a way that you're rendered invisible to those younger than you, who are no longer vying for your coveted seat of authority and wisdom, for they feel that they already have taken it. You will be old in such a way that you're left to mutter to yourself in a darkened corner, wondering how it can be like this that your ever-sharp mind still brimming full with wit and imagination and vibrant opinions can be trapped in this wreck of a human husk that no one wants to spend any time with for it reminds them of their own happily ignored mortality. It's just a fact. This will happen. And one of the great tests of life is how each of us chooses to face this wearying decline. Do we treat every chapter of life as a gift, no matter how difficult the attending sacrifices and bodily/social changes are? Or do we simply fold into our ever shrinking shells and await the end?

Or do we take Scott Weiland's route, and write songs for dentists' office waiting rooms?

Out of the way, old man! There is life still worth living out here!

Posted by Gabe at 10:45 AM in
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35 Comments

Something tells me this ain't right.

Posted by: Snothouse profile link at 10/12/09 10:58 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

Thank god the video shown is actually the SNL sketch. Now I can think about the choices I've made in my life, as why I needed to listen to that song in the first place.

Posted by: sol at 10/12/09 10:58 AM  | Reply
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Haha. Fixed. For better or for worse.

Posted by: Gabe profile link  in reply to  sol's comment at 10/12/09 11:12 AM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Now you fucked up!

Posted by: The Colonel profile link at 10/12/09 11:12 AM  | Reply
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well don't I look silly...

Posted by: The Colonel profile link  in reply to  The Colonel's comment at 10/12/09 11:13 AM  | Reply
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Well this is slightly embarrassing for him. It sounds like a David Gray song.

Posted by: adrienne profile link at 10/12/09 11:16 AM  | Reply
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You can't run through wicked gardens and do sex-type things your whole life. Sometimes you just want to ease into retirement by lazily imitating Bob Dylan against cardboard city backdrops. It's the American dream!

Posted by: kiss the pan profile link at 10/12/09 11:19 AM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

Scott Weiland is at least ten years older than me, and has been battling heroin addiction his entire adult life, and still gets to make music videos. I'm a vegeterian and work out five times a week, and when I go to a club, people look at me like I'm there to spy on my kids.
I forgot what point I was gonna make here, a fact which itself proves that yeah, people do age.

Posted by: jimjbollocks profile link at 10/12/09 11:40 AM  | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

Alright Mr. Horn-Tooter, time to stop tooting your horn.

Posted by: The Colonel profile link  in reply to  jimjbollocks's comment at 10/12/09 11:54 AM  | Reply
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"Who the heck is Scott Weiland?"

Posted by: everyone younger than 28 at 10/12/09 11:40 AM  | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down

Half the man he used to be.
(relevant)

Posted by: IkilledMichael profile link  in reply to  everyone younger than 28's comment at 10/12/09 12:58 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

ZING!

Posted by: hello my name is RAWR! profile link  in reply to  IkilledMichael's comment at 10/12/09 4:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

this is too raucous to be the background music to my root canal. I need some shania twain or some osmond twins. what are they called again? where am I?

Posted by: skunksuit profile link at 10/12/09 11:42 AM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

my dentist lets me plug in my ipod.

Posted by: super! profile link  in reply to  skunksuit's comment at 10/12/09 1:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

i never noticed before that scott weiland looks like the love child of luke perry and matthew fox. but i did notice before that scott weiland is a terrible songwriter.

Posted by: rb profile link at 10/12/09 11:43 AM  | Reply
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they completely skipped over his days as an oral prostitute for dope in the video

Posted by: pauly profile link at 10/12/09 11:55 AM  | Reply
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What kind of world do we live in when a Marine-Life Muralist thinks he can write, record, and perform popular music?!? Sickening, Truly Sickening!

Posted by: dUb-iLL profile link at 10/12/09 12:05 PM  | Reply
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If you're a guy whose past fame was wholly based on an uncanny ability to fool modern-rock radio listeners into thinking you're Eddie Vedder, you take what you can get and you say THANKS WORLD!

Posted by: trevormail profile link at 10/12/09 12:25 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

YIKES, nice video, Scott. 'Cept I think maybe you might've taken that budget and spent it on, like, an egg salad sandwich, because man, eat a SANDWICH. More egg salad, less heroin and videotape.

Posted by: LinerNotesDanny profile link at 10/12/09 12:26 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Clearly there is some sort of mistake. That's not Scott Weiland. This is Scott Weiland:



I hope that clears things up.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link at 10/12/09 12:26 PM  | Reply
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I'm sorry to press the point, here but that video was of a model doing a bad Bob Dylan impression. Scott Weiland is this guy:


Posted by: Godsauce profile link  in reply to  Godsauce's comment at 10/12/09 12:37 PM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

As a rabid Pearl Jam fan who has always hated scott weiland/ stp for jacking EdVed's/grunge's style, the tags "death, scott weiland" made me happy.

Posted by: Napoleon Complex is in class on her phone and can't sign in at 10/12/09 12:29 PM  | Reply
Score = -5 Vote up Vote down

Whoa, I can see I am on the wrong side of this grunge debate.

Posted by: Napoleon Complex profile link  in reply to  Napoleon Complex is in class on her phone and can't sign in's comment at 10/12/09 5:15 PM  | Reply
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1. When did Scott Weiland become attractive? I am old enough to have been conscious through '90s, and I promise I never considered Scott Weiland even a mild sex object. Also, you are not Sufjan Stevens all of a sudden. De-banjo immediately.


2. Remember last year when Gavin Rossdale got old? Why did I ever love you, Gavin? I always knew you were a poor teenager's Kurt Cobain with improved bone structure and British accent, but I did not expect the leap to Nights in Rodanthe theme song writing?


3. What do you think would have happened if Kurt Cobain had gotten old? Not this garbage, surely!


4. You're old when all your teenage idols are dead, literally and metaphorically. Time to go change my diaper and chase some damn kids from my lawn.

Posted by: Lulubelle profile link at 10/12/09 12:44 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

Speaking of '90s MTV icons ... I want to age as gracefully as John Norris:
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Posted by: Lord Growing profile link at 10/12/09 12:50 PM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

"I promise you Scott, this video is going to be the beginning of a new era for you. It's going to be so fucking indie, you don't even know. This song already sounds just like Animal Collection, now you just need a hip video to go with it. You'll look like such a cool indie hipster that all the pitchforkers will be blogging about you all the time. You're going to be bangin' Zoe Dashnell and doing lines with The Grizzly Bears all night."


"Wow, mr. video director, it sure sounds like you know what you're talking about."

Posted by: moonmaster profile link at 10/12/09 1:09 PM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

Kylie made this, and she's a PC
(more :( is coming)

Posted by: nathan scott phillips  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 10/12/09 1:46 PM  | Reply
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I think it's fate that you end up posting a headline like this on my birthday!

However, watching Scott Weiland (continue to) sink to the depths of that lame-arse Chris Cornell is not the b-day gift I was hoping for.

Posted by: GreatCop profile link at 10/12/09 1:12 PM  | Reply
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As a person who just got brutally dumped 2 days ago by his girlfriend who happened to be 5 years his junior (no, she's not 13, we're both in our twenties), the first paragraph of this post broke my heart further. I came here for the laffs and I ended up crying more :(

Posted by: youbastid profile link at 10/12/09 1:26 PM  | Reply
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feel better, you bastid. and fret not-- why, right here on this very board, there are lovely spam messages which will allow you to mingle classily with Beauty Queens, Fitness Models, and Hollywood Celebrities--who can doubt it?
--keep fuckin' that chicken! (do not keep fucking that chicken.)

Posted by: inko8 profile link  in reply to  youbastid's comment at 10/13/09 5:56 AM  | Reply
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whoaaaa jakob dylan

Posted by: sorryicecream profile link at 10/12/09 3:20 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

In a word, heroin.

Posted by: Professor Push-Ups profile link at 10/12/09 4:34 PM  | Reply
Score = -1 Vote up Vote down

Scott Weiland must've caught wind of all the Paper Heart money going around.

Posted by: Tooom profile link at 10/12/09 5:56 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

Looks like the guy (or girl!) who directed every car commercial in the last five years got another job.

Posted by: bumblebutt profile link at 10/12/09 6:36 PM  | Reply
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__ClassyMingle.com__ is the best and largest online personals site dedicated to men and women seeking a higher caliber online dating experience.
Our clients include CEOs, Professional Athletes, Doctors, Lawyers, Investors, Entrepreneurs, Beauty Queens, Fitness Models, and Hollywood Celebrities,
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Posted by: lisa at 10/13/09 1:46 AM  | Reply
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