Drake Makes Sure To Get His New Music Video Just Right
"Listen, Drake, it's about your new music video. It's got some problems. For one thing, you're performing in an empty nightclub? I mean, a handful of girls walk down the stairs at the beginning of the video, but perhaps they are walking down the stairs to exit the club, because after they walk down the stairs there is no one in there. Actually, no, one girl stays, standing by a meager bar with, like, six bottles of vodka behind it? I hope your crew likes vodka, but not too much vodka. Also you are performing on a two-story platform? That is on fire? Why are you doing that, Drake? Nevermind, don't answer that. It's not any worse than Kanye West's performance in absolute darkness, or Weezy's refusal to even get up off the couch to deliver his verse, or Eminem's 2002-sports-drink-commercial-soundstage. No, performing atop a two-story platform to an empty nightclub is not even your biggest problem at this point.
"Your biggest problem, Drake, is that with your hoodie pulled up and your mirror-rehearsed snarl, you think that you look very tough but you do not look very tough. You look like a 12-year-old about to start his first day of junior high who has spent all summer practicing looking tough alone in his room. Whoops, the bullies are unimpressed. Whoops, the bullies are beating you up. Whoops, now you're wearing your hoodie as pants because your real pants are in a dumpster or toilet somewhere.
"Also, I'm pretty sure the "dissolve" button on this video editing machine is broken.
"But don't worry, Drake! I think I've got a solution that will fix the whole video. Sure, it's lazy and aesthetically unpleasant and you look like a wimp in your outfit and your face, but all of those things can be fixed and/or distracted from if we just THROW A BUNCH OF BASKETBALL PLAYERS IN THERE*. Perfect. Cut and print. That's a wrap everyone. Bartender, a round of a tiny little bit of vodka, on me."
*I know that this song is on the LeBron James Soundtrack, but so what, it's still lame.
Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in Music Related Content
Tags: Drake | Eminem | Hip Hop | Kanye West | LeBron James | Lil Wayne
Is it just me or does Drake look studly in that hoodie? It's just me, isn't it. Shouldn't have said that. Just forget I said anything.
Score = 9
Ok, I for one do not get this Drake nonsense. I don't! He will always be Jimmy the handicapped basketball player from Degrassi to me.
Score = 26
Yup yup.
Score = 3
Exactly!
Score = 1
He wasn't always in that wheelchair...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8is0OGTv_M
Score = 1
yessss. i read "Whoops, the bullies are beating you up," and thought, "nuh-uh! crazy rick is shooting him! no one beats jimmy up."
Score = 0
I was just about to say the same thing. It was good to see Spin in the video too... oh wait sorry that was Eminem. My bad.
Score = 0
Oh man! I'm so excited he included the Airhorn! It's never annoying! We love the airhorn!
(no, no we do not.)
Score = 4
Sacrilege! Heresy! HERRR HERRR HERRRRRRRRRRRR-sy!
Score = 1
I'm sure when they recorded the song the producer probably said " I've got a fever. And the only prescription is... More airhorn."
Score = 0
Major Lase-HOOORRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN
Score = -1
He's Jimmy from Degrassi, of course he doesn't look tough.
Score = 2
As far as I'm concerned, he'll always be Jimmy from Degrassi. I like to imagine that all of his songs are fueled by his undying love for Ashley, even though they never could seem to get it right. Then again, I'm an 11 year old girl.
Score = 9
Wait, so he is Canadian? Do they even have clubs in Canada?
Score = 1
Score = 67
OK then!
Score = 4
nice Canada jab south park 1999.
Score = -2
It's not that, it's just when you think gangsta rap (or whatever this is) in a club setting do you ever think of Canada? If you do, even if it was just once, then you have my apologies. But I wasn't trying to be all WOW THEY HAVE ELECTRICITY NOW? Jesus, you guys. Sometimes a mediocre comment is worse than an offensive comment over here.
Score = 2
write like Gabe more. it's going well.
Score = -5
gangsta rap not Canadian? you've never been to Parkdale in downtown Toronto, have you?
Score = 0
P.S. what you wrote isn't even a sentence, TalbainJ Harder.
Score = 4
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/05/12/99-grammar/
Score = -2
Alright I'm glad we're on the same page on this! No really! I'm still puzzled how he pulled off this rap career, airhorn or no airhorn.
Score = 5
I think I heard somewhere this guy is Jimmy from Degrassi.
I guess I didn't recognize him because my mom wasn't bringing me and my friend a tray of Pizza Rolls and Sunkist (who loves orange soda? We do we do we dooo-hooo!) while we sit on my living room floor and I try not to be embarassed. But we were only watching Degrassi as a cover for Undressed while my mom was in the room, so when she goes back to bed we'll flip to MTV and learn about sex and wonder what it's like to kiss boys once our braces our off. (Naturally, this was a week ago, and I am still wondering. Is it slimy?)
Score = 23
This video just reminds me of how white I am. Time to go to Gap and try on jeans.
Score = 9
You know Kanye has been guest rapping in waaayyy too many songs when the best references he comes up with are McLovin' and Ferris Bueller.
Score = 6
Let me sum up comments. He's Jimmy! Where's the wheelchair? Degrassi!
Though guys, for real, he's awesome. The fact that a half Jewish dude from a rich Jew-y Toronto neighbourhood who was on fucking Degrassi is the next big thing in rap is great. Plus his mixtape is great.
I'm just saying, it's not like Adam Brody was in Vampire Weekend after the O.C.
Score = 21
Commenters are slacking with the Jimmy references, while totally missing jokes about all the Ken Burns effect usage. This video ruins lipsynching. Plus, I'm old, so new-Degrassi jokes are lost on me?
Score = 0
Also, this song could only be made better by more reggae-horn. Like, constant horn over the whole thing.
Score = 4
Score = 11
wait...is that him? i've never seen degrassi. it just gets sweeter, doesn't it?
Score = -4
It took me too long to realize what this was.
Score = 0
Everybody wants something, they'll never give up!
Score = 1
I heart Zit Remedy
Score = 1
Was there an "8 Mile" clip in that video? Because the whole thing reminded me of "8 Mile" and then I saw that clip and I was "Oh (because that's my name), it is sort of about '8 Mile,' now I understand about homage."
Score = 0
Drake went so long without signing a deal because of what his previous label did to Downtown Sasquatch.
Score = 6
And everyone knows that those fat cat record execs in Vancouver don't care about artists, look what they did to Craig Manning!
Score = 5
is it just me or does that whole blowhorn thing keep reminding me on the raaaaaaany videos....you know...his dj..."workin' on dem teeth!!!"
Score = 0
That's the best verse I've heard Eminem give in a long time. Not for lyrical content, duh-xactly, but for style. He sounds pretty good! Maybe he should quit trying to make a comeback and instead put out an album consisting entirely of guest spots on Drake tracks.
Score = 10
Something is up with his face...he's got that hoodie on pretty tight, and almost none of his shots are head-on.
Score = 3
He's been playing too much Prototype.
Score = -1
Score = -3
Well, I fucked that up twice.
Score = -1
that's because he looks like the most preteen, unintimidating excuse for a rapper ever. yeah, he's always gonna be jimmy.
also, kanye, weezy, and eminem DESTROY him. why did he feel the need to rap at the beginning? something something bald - CHEMO. really?
Score = 0
Not knowing who "Drake" was, I thought he was just another Tom OC type, and maybe a friend of his worked in a club, and owed him a favor.
But then Kanye showed up, and it was great. Ignorance is potential bliss.
Score = 0
Has Kanye taken that stupid leather vest off once in the past month?
Score = 7
I will watch pretty much anything with LeBron James in it. Seriously.
Score = 4
actually right at 22 seconds the club is full of people
(not that that has much of a positive effect on the music video or anything)
Score = 3
You don't think that's the REAL Kanye, do you? Oh, you poor, naïve fool. A man of Kanye's stature could never allow himself to be seen in music videos—too risky. His appearances are all made by a team of Saddam-style doubles, with varying degrees of verisimilitude. See? It explains both his seemingly erratic behavior and his occasional unwillingness to be photographed under direct lighting.
Score = 3
Please enjoy this gem from Drake's early rapping days (and ignore the weird fan video):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGQ91gODcR0
A little background - this is from an episode of "Degrassi" where the school was holding a battle of the bands and Jimmy/Drake and another character, Spinner, made up a rap as the last resort. That's Jimmy/Drake saying "Shut up girl, and make my lunch".
This post is brought to you by a reformed "Degrassi" addict.
Score = 0
uh someone should tell drake that a finding nemo reference does not help him look not 12.
Score = 9
From now on, I'm introducing myself as "Last name, Ever. First name, Greatest."
Score = 14
Wait, so...am I supposed to know who the fuck Drake is? It seems that every four to six months or so some autotune-armed rapper pops up with a video or hit single and a bunch of people are talking about him like he's been popular and relevant for years.
Score = -4
There was no reason for this song to go to the chorus 7 times and there is no reason for this song to be over 6 minutes in length.
Score = 10
Drake has a history of really terrible videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb0KowdtK6Y
Although I will admit the punchline to "Best I Ever Had" is pretty funny.
Score = 3
Ok, I'm not anti semitic by any means but being Jewish and from Canada does not equal "tough" or whatever image he is trying to portray.
I was going to say this video doesn't really make much sense but then I rewatched and it is preluded with Lebron James playing online poker or something and it sorta tied everything together in a knot of constipation.
Score = -7
get the fuck away from me
Score = -1
you have to get the fuck away from me first.
Score = 0
Gabe, that is Weezy's couch. If Weezy wants to sit on his couch, he can sit on his couch. If Weezy wants to drink a cup full of heroin on his couch, then he can sit there and drink heroin out of a cup on his couch.
Score = 14
I never saw Degrassi, I barely even know what it is. Some kind of teen show? My family was too poor to have those cable channels.
Score = 1
this auto-tune person is getting so much work, lately. it seems like he's collaborating with basically every artist, in every genre of music. what a lucky break for him! i think that cher song was his big break, don't you?
Score = 2
I. Love. Drake.
and I can't even put into words how much I love Kanye, so I wont even begin to try.
but Drake really needs to evaluate the concepts for his videos, because they are shitty as shit. Best I Ever Had was a good one because it offended the retards *retards being the people who wanted some super serious Maxwell-like video* but then he did Successful video and I thought it was the most typical mediocre thing he's ever done.
:)
thanks for reading.
Score = -4
Look. I know we all know it. It's the elephant in the room. So I'm just going to go out and say it. Obviously the only reason he got this far was because he cut Ash's vocals out of that track.
Was it a dick move? Yes. But they'd both be miserable townies if he hadn't done it, and is that really fair to either of them?
Score = 1
isn't everything in the world awful!
except Louis CK, obviously.
Score = -3
i just donkey punched this video and its (lack of) direction yesterday.
hype williams is gettin plain lazy. sparks + ghetto youtube rips of pre-nba lebron = music video???
http://awkwardprops.blogspot.com/2009/09/another-failed-drake-music-video.html
Score = -2
Is this song called "I shoulda been Le Bron"?
Cause I can really relate to that.
Score = 0
Why isn't Craig famous yet?
Score = 0
To Drake's credit, this IS a better song than Chris Brown's 'Forever'.
Also, I may be alone in saying this, but Eminem's verse is pretty good!
Score = 0
What the hell are you talking about? This is on the Lebron James soundtrack for god's sake! Everyone is talking about how awesome and successful they are (what rappers are supposed to do) while he's referencing his overdoses and how he's going to eat my face? Too fast, too angry, and obviously forced to try and make this 09's swagga like us.
Score = 0
there is no doubt about it, this video sucks, who ever did this should never pick up a camera again. what a mess. cheeesy comes to mind, totally wrong venue, totally wrong concept, if there is even one. for heavens sakes, get someone who knows what they are doing, this video makes you look stupid.
Score = 0