One Week Poster Vying To Be The March Cover Of Duh Aficionado Magazine
If I only had ONE WEEK left to live, I would go to Wilson's Leather and buy a pre-worn motorcycle jacket, because there simply wouldn't be enough time to break one in myself. Then I would get on a rented motorcycle and I would ride out to a fucking stupid lake near some dumb mountains because of how life is short. Yeah. I would ride to the lake where they filmed the movie The Edge, because what one man can do, another can do. I'd get off the motorcycle and just, like, stare out at stuff, just really deep, like a teenage girl. I'd probably write some poetry on my jeans with a sharpie. Who needs nice jeans when you only have ONE WEEK left to live? I would put my hands in my pockets, but I would keep the thumbs out of the pockets, because even though I only have ONE WEEK left to live I am not going to stress it. I'm going to be cool out here by this pedestrian philosophy lake looking like a jerk. I would just stare out at stuff and think really intense thoughts about intensity, out there by that Grizzly Man lake, just in nature, saying goodbye to everything in my new outfit from the mall, because life is precious and God and the bible.
Posted by Gabe at 5:00 PM in Movie Posters
Tags: Joshua Jackson | One Week
This poster would look so much better if it featured Dawson instead.
Score = 3
It's really hard to fake-hate you when you work an Edge reference, a Grizzly Man reference, and a Mr. Show reference all into the same post.
Score = 6
Yes, well done on the Mr. Show reference. Kudos to you sir. And kudos again.
Score = 1
Before I die, I'm gonna fuck me a fish.
Score = 6
you forgot- in my last week I'd be sure to eat out a hairy down there-y hippie bob evans waitress WHILE I had glue on my face so now it looks like I have a beard/ looks like I'm not in the mighty ducks
Score = -9
Notice how the jacket pocket is SLIGHTLY unzipped. It's as if his hopes and dreams are slowly spilling out from underneath the leathery protective layer that he shows people. On purpose, right? RIGHT?
Oh, and then there's this from IMDB:
Chronicles the motorcycle trip of Ben Tyler as he rides from Toronto to Tofino, British Columbia. Ben stops at landmarks that are both iconic and idiosyncratic on his quest to find meaning in his life.
Yeah, no.
Score = 2
Joshua Jackson peaked at Mighty Ducks.
Tragically, It's been all downhill from there.
(Though, okay, I will admit some sick perverted pleasure from watching him as a conniving homogay in "Cruel Intentions." Typecast, anyone?)
Score = 1
keep those wilson's leather jokes coming.
Score = 6
I'd write a bucket list before I left on my motorcycle trip so I could be certain the movie about my last week would be the WORST.
Score = 2
Wow. I sure hope he stops in the Village of Glendon, Alberta, to see the world's largest pyrogy on a fork.
Score = 1
I hope that Barenaked Ladies song is in this movie.
Still wouldn't see the movie, but at least it would be a movie about a terminally ill guy with the phrase "Chickity-China" in it.
Score = 1
pacey stood in front of me at a black keys show at terminal 5 last year. he spent the entire time telling these moron girls he was with why they were cool.
shut up and listen to stack shot billy, you idiot.
Score = 0
Okay, number one -- since when has Joshua Jackson been a leading man? Or relevant for that matter?
Number two, why is it that movies are so full of like definite and timely deaths? If doctors are telling you that you only have about a week to live then you're most likely hooked up to a million machines dying in a hospital bed somewhere. I might even be able to stand a movie where the main character has X amount of time to live and spends it surrounded by loved ones in the comfort of his own home.
But if you're so sick that your body will only function for seven more days, how in god's name can you travel across country? On a MOTORCYCLE of all things? Unless this is some sort of emo re-imagining of "The Ring" where Joshua Jackson watches the evil tape and then goes "Why fight it, I'm just going to get on my hog and go FIND myself."
Or he's faking it for the attention.
Score = 2
Nailed it! You totally pointed out why this movie is so unrealistic. Great job. Also, a movie about someone dying in a hospital bed hooked up to a million machines would be so interesting.
>how in god's name can you travel across country? On a MOTORCYCLE of all things?
I know! Right?! You are so right about this. Add me to the list of people who are dissatisfied with unrealistic portrayal Hollywood produces of the dying. I will totally be #2, right after you. Let's DO this K-Mo!!!
Score = -2
Don't forget your Kerouac!
Score = 1
This movie was only made because in Canada we throw money at people with ideas for bad Canadian movies about scenery and self discovery. And if any politician mentions that this is a dumb idea, Margaret Atwood and Sarah Polley kick the shit out of them. It's true. Look it up.
Score = 0