Can We Even Come Up With A Worse Tagline For Sherlock Holmes?
Here's the new Sherlock Holmes poster you guys have been waiting for so anxiously. "Where iz it, I cant waiiiiiiiit." Is what you said on all your Sherlock Holmes Fan Forums. "OMG, Fans of Baskerville, who else is so excited that they feel high on snuff?" That was you again. On the Sherlock Holmes angelfire message boards.
This is an incredibly boring poster, but whatever. People are probably going to make their decisions on whether or not to see this movie based on whether or not they like Robert Downey Jr., or the work of Guy Ritchie, or Victorian era mysteries updated for a Rollerblade generation. Not the poster.
But, OOF, that tagline? "Holmes for the Holiday"? You are kidding us, right? Someone is kidding us. Good one, everybody. In a few years we're going to laugh about what a good prank Improv Everywhere pulled when they changed all the Sherlock Holmes posters to make them have the worst tagline.
Like, is it even possible to think of a worse tagline than that? I'm not sure it is! It's very, very bad. But, of course, we can try:
- Elementary School Is Out For the Holidays, and Everyone Should Go See This Movie, My Dear Watson
- Holmes Holmes Holmes, Merry Christmas!
- Sherlock is My Holmesboy
- He Knows If You Have Been Naughty, Or Mystery
No. "Holmes for the Holiday" is still the worst. You guys are welcome to try, but despite your ability to come up with impressively awful things on very short notice, I still have my doubts about your chances for success!
Posted by Gabe at 3:45 PM in Movie Posters
Tags: Guy Ritchie | Jude Law | Robert Downey Jr. | Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock: He Will Take No Shit
Score = 12
Wats on, Holmes?
-Nothing.
Sher, lock?
-Oh go fuck yourself.
Score = 0
"Holmes? Where we're going we don't need... Holmes..."
Score = 13
Sherlock and Load
Score = 142
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBWy2OzPClI
Score = 32
CAN I vote you FOR President OF VGUMLOLs? because HOLY shit that WAS INCREDIBLE.
Score = 0
Holmes: It's Gotta Be Better Than 'Swept Away'
Score = -2
More funk. More fun. Morphine.
Score = 36
Better Holmes and Gardens
Score = 37
This ain't no Katie Holmes, also gay people.
Score = -5
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the committing crimes in Victorian- and Edwardian-era England.
Score = 18
Sherlock Holmes: Quaaludes and Mystery (not necessarily in that order)
Score = 8
Sherlock Holmes: Jude Law Looks Like a Jackass.
Score = -2
Watson YOUR Wallet?
Score = 117
Now THAT'S a tagline. Good work, Sir.
Score = 2
No joke I thought I came up with something and then realized I had "Holmes for the holidays". It really can't be beat!
Score = 17
Be SHER to LOCK your HOLMES this holiday.
Score = 66
Holmes Alone?
Score = 33
Iron Holmes: This is your grandfather's Iron Man
Score = 17
Happy Holmesadays
Score = 1
There's Something Wrong with Watson.
Score = 20
there's one in all of us.
Score = -1
This is also a distressingly Christian-centric tagline. I know the movie is set in the pre-Kwanzaa era, but shouldn't it be 'Holmes for the HolidayS'?
Score = -2
I was wondering that as well, but have decided that they were making it sound british-er by referring to the time off as a holiday (little h) rather than the Holiday (big H) itself.
But still, stupid.
Score = 1
Go Holmes and check Watson under your X-Mas tree
Score = 12
Sherlock, stock and 2 smoking barrels of egg nog.
Score = 11
Holmes Alone 2: Lost in a Mystery
Score = -3
"We Made a Sherlock Holmes Movie and Ironman is in It. For the Holiday."
Score = 9
WATS UP, HOLMES?
Score = 22
Yo Holmes, smell ya later?
Score = 58
Holmes-y Don't Play That!
Score = 7
Sher-Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Smack Pipes?
Score = -3
Holmes, James!
Score = 2
I Be Watson You
Score = 8
"This holiday, Holmes is a sure-lock for fun for the whole family"
Score = 44
LOLOLOL. It's funny because it's true.
Score = 2
Ho-Ho-Holmes
Score = -4
Jingle Holmes Jingle Holmes, Jingle All the Holmes!
Score = 5
Holmes-y I Shrunk The Kids!
Score = -12
I'm actually going to see this, horrible tagline or no horrible tagline, because Robert Downey Jr.
Score = 2
Because+noun has become a very funny joke. Why is that? Where did it start? My favorite because+noun was when someone used it in a comment and a troll responded with "because what? because of? because it was... why don't you type correctly!" and the person responded "because comedy?" And it was a LOL to be remembered.
Score = 53
for some reason, it makes me really angry when anybody besides gabe uses his affectations (because..., you guys, COLLEGE, (non-phonebook thing) the phonebook). like, really angry.
Score = 3
I understand what you mean. It can be grating when commenters are clearly imitating Gabe. He has his own style and it's quite distinctive. I've even irritated myself by finding myself doing it a couple of times. Still, I don't think that makes all of those affectations his. I recall hearing and using the "because+noun" construction in high school, and that was last century.
Score = 12
my use of the phrase "You Guys" has gone up tenfold since bookmarking this blog.
Score = 9
I got the same from Dinosaur Comics
Score = 7
The new-Holmes-buyer tax credit expires this holiday season. Can Watson cosign in time?
Score = 10
How am I looking?
Elegentally, my dear Watson.
Score = -5
Holmies in the Hood
Score = 3
This Christmas, yule be rollin' with the Holmesies!
(If this were 1995, that's exactly what it would be.)
Score = 18
our movie is really good, holmes
Score = 0
No Holmo.
Score = 44
No shit.
Score = 1
Sherlock's coming. No Holmeso.
Score = 1
There's Nothing Wrong With Holmes.
Score = -1
When yule eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
Score = 15
Everyone's after something.
Score = -2
I know everyone loves Robert Downey Jr. and his sexy face or whatever, but this movie looks like Van Helsing: Sherlock Holmes edition.
Score = 12
Robert Downey Jr's haircut appears to be shockingly similar to my mother's. He is also wearing an equatable amount of make up. His 'sexy face' is currently freaking me right out.
Score = 9
Van Helsing 2: Historic Boogaloo!
Score = 7
For real. The poster itself is terrible, too. What is that, a locker they're standing in front of? And what's with the dog? It's looking a little too madcap-hijinx for me. We don't need another Brothers Grimm.
Score = 5
i hope i can find something today to describe as 'madcap-hijinx'
Score = 0
holmes is where the heart is
Score = 21
'Lock box rox sox off Fox
Score = 0
Cocaine. It helps!
Score = 8
Holme-y Don't Play Dat.
Holmes is Where the Fart is.
Sigh. I'll show myself out.
Score = -4
Is your house cooled to -12 degrees?
Score = 1
What, people like tag lines that have words that sound like other words. You just can't handle the tooth.
Score = 13
Sherlockin N' Poppin!
Score = 15
In England, no one can hear you scream. Except Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes.
Score = 10
We're two men who happen to be roommates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It's bad-ass.
Score = 12
Jesus Christ, Just Let Moriarty Kill Him Already.
Score = 0
"I'll be Holmes for Christmas"
--Robert Downey Jr.
Score = 10
This Christmas, the Miracle Is on Baker Street
Score = 39
I would not be surprised if this gets stolen by Hollywood. Have you done this before?
Score = 3
I have not. If you know of a job opening for tagline writer, please let me know, because I am getting a bit desperate for work.
Score = 4
In the absence of RobinRubbermaid (where is he/she?) you are fast becoming my favourite commenter.
Also, where have teh cake eatur, AAP and all those guys gone?
Score = 0
Cake Eatur was banned. Patriot's been busy with work. Don't know about RobinRubbermaid, but I might know too much about the personal lives of monsters already. Thanks for the kind words!
Score = 2
alternately: Holmes Is Where You Make It
Score = 0
Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law's small penis, coming to your Holmes Christmas day.
Score = -7
Bulldogs, Rachel McAdams, Gay sidekicks: It's Fuckin' Sherlock Holmes
Score = -1
This poster just goes to show you: You Can Never Go Holmes Again.
(leaves quietly)
Score = 9
'Tis the Season for Deductive Reason!
Score = 43
*forcefully egrabs and eraises godsauce's iarm into the cyberair*
HEY EVERYONE, I FOUND IT! OVER HERE! HEY OVER HERE! YOU CAN STOP LOOKING, GUYS, I FOUND IT!
Score = 8
The problem with this one is that it is actually quite good.
Score = 2
Holmes is Where the Heart Is...Christmas Day.
Somebody did that one, right?
Score = 0
Sorry, davidcxr. Didn't see it.
Score = 1
's all good holmes
I upvoted you for the honesty. Just don't let it happen again.
Score = 4
Sherlock is my Holmes boy.
Score = 2
"I don't care when this movie tanks because I have 'Iron Man 2' on May 7th, 2010."
Score = 4
Holmes is where his Hat is?
Score = 1
This Ain't Your Grandfather's Holmes (or Ben Stiller's, Thank God)
Score = -2
Who says you can't go Holmes again?
(Can we get Bon Jovi for the trailers...?)
Score = -1
I've been commenting on Videogum every once in a while for months now, without having registered a Username. I just did so, specifically so I could vote for this comment. That tagline is the greatest.
Score = 0
There's No Case Like Holmes
Score = 5
Rent It This Summer!
Score = 5
I Mean Next Summer!
Score = 6
CRAP
Score = 9
How about, "Take it Holmes this June" Wakka Wakka!
Score = 5
Waston in a Name? That Which We Call a Holmes.
Score = 0
Desperate Holiday Cash-Grab
Score = 1
A Study In Scarlet And White Fur.
Score = -1
Look Who Just Solved A Mystery and Came Down The Chimney.
Score = 8
You'll be howling like The Hound of the Baskervilles!
Score = 3
Get Downey This Christmas. Jude be breaking the Law if you didn't see it Holmes..........Rachel McAdams.
Score = 27
After a disastrous opening weekend, both the director and the writers of this movie had to sell their Holmes.
Score = 9
Putting the "Steampunk" in "Steaming Pile of Shit"
Score = 2
Hey remember Sherlock Holmes? We Sher Don't.
Score = -5
Holmes is where the hearth is.
Score = 0
Let's stay Holmes and see Watson tonight.
Score = 5
Watson the big screen at a theater near you this holiday season? This movie.
Score = 2
Extreme Holmes Makeover
Score = 9
Sherlock Holmes
He Wants to Holmes your Hand
Score = 1
An Unwanted Yet Unreturnable Gift for the Holiday
Score = 1
Sherlock up your daughter, Sherlock up your wife, Sherlock up your back door, and run for you life.
Score = 5
Your. Irregardless, it's terrible.
Score = -1
Don't make him angry "sherlock" gunna like him when hes angry
Score = -6
Sherlock Holmes: i hope theres no gay people
Score = -9
sherlock holmes: he'll fuck you till you love him, faggot
Score = -7
Sherlock Holmes: Even WE Can't Come Up With A Worse Tagline For Sherlock Holmes.
Score = 1
there's something wrong with watson.
can holmes keep a secret?
Score = -1
Who goes to the cinema on Christmas day? Crazy. Wall-e is on...probably.
Score = -2
Rudolph, my deer, Watson.
Score = 0
Druggy mystery solver?
Holmes is (in the) House: This time it really isn't Lupis
Score = 1
Watson your stocking? This movie, hopefully!
Score = 2
"Yeah, Jude Law has a moustache."
Score = 1
This is a little off topic, but does anybody know where I can get a copy of Orianthi's "Believe"?
Is it even out yet?
Score = 4
upvote!
Score = 3
Beautifully done!
Score = 0
This time they're going back to the 80's:
Sherlock Holmes IV: The Voyage Holmes
Score = 0
Is Reese Witherspoon in this? Because then it's Sweet Holmes Alabama.
Score = -3
Garrison Keetown in the house?
A Prairie Holmes Companion
Score = -5
This Kwanza, RDJ is coming Holmes in a Body Bag.
(seriously, I could do this all night)
Score = -4
Please don't do this all night.
.
k thanks bye.
Score = 9
Holmes: With a release date meant to avoid an influx of Sherlock Holmes costumes on Halloween. You can thank us later.
Score = 2
Elementary THIS
Score = 14
"Sherlock? FUCK."
Score = -4
SHERLOCK HOLMES 3D: SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE IS GETTING TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT.
Score = 3
Holmes int no holmo
Score = -2
What? Or rather, why??
Score = 0
Thank you huangzhiaian04. Now I can one-stop shop for all my Engrish douchebag friends this Holiday.
And I wish you a happy shopping right back.
Score = 0
Go Big Or Go Holmes
Score = 8
Are you Sher you'll be Holmes for the holidays?
Score = -2
Holmes For the Holiday: In Case There Are No Gay People There
I can't believe no one made this tagline yet.
Just take what's already bad, and make it slightly worse.
Score = -4
You'll Love This Movie. No Holmes-o.
Score = -4
I think there's something serendipitous about us posting the same thing a minute apart. TWINS!
Score = -2
This movie is good: No Holmes-mo.
Score = -4
The down-votes must mean that this isn't a bad tagline for the movie. It's probably a good one.
Score = 1
DW phone Holmes.
(scrapping the bottom of the barrel here)
Score = -2
yes. I am making a scrapbook with the items I find at the bottom of this barrel. Maybe I'll find a speak and spell.
Score = -1
Colonel Douche, in the collage, with the (co)ca(i)ne
Score = -4
Shake, Rattle and Holmes
Score = 0
Pop, SherLock, and Drop It.
Score = 2
Nevermind the SherLocks (Sex Pistols reference in case it isn't clear).
Score = -4
Pimp's Up Holmes Down
Score = 0
the director was all "we need more grey in this poster!" also what photoshop class do you have to take to make Robert Downey Jr look like Dustin Hoffman?
Better Holmes and Gardens wins for me.
Score = 1
But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Sherlock Holmes This Christmas!
Score = -1
Prepare to get frocked up
Score = 2
Move that bus! Watson family, prepare to see your new Holmes!
Score = 2
Sarah_McLachlan_-_Building_A_Mystery.MP3
Score = 1
Sherlock's Snatch
Score = -2
Let's just ignore the tagline and focus on the adorable bulldog in the upper left corner!!!
Score = -1
It's Like "Wild Wild West," Without Black People.
Score = 1
Not trying to be clever-bad, just trying to be bad:
Feliz Navidad, Holmes
Score = 0
"Dandylicious"
Score = 0
There should be an option to sort comment by highest rated so I can simply skip to the funny one, huh?
Score = 1
Yes. I wish I could upvote you a hundred times so you'd get some more notice with this idea.
Score = 0
Holmes did it for a show.
Score = 0
Holmes. Will. Sherlock.
Score = 0
Okay. I will wait to pass final judgement until after this is released. I keep swaying on the fence.
Score = 0