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June 17, 2009

Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince Is A Movie About Dancing And Kissing

thumbnail icon: Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince Is A Movie About Dancing And Kissing

Haha. More new Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince posters, you guys. These things get me every time. I mean, the Harry Potter series has been going on for 17,000 years so it can be tough to keep things fresh. But to whom is this poster supposed to appeal? Girls, I guess. Little, tiny girls. Actually, in that sense all of these new posters are very appealing. The 12-year-old ladies are going to love it. Until they get to the movie theater and realize that this chapter in the Harry Potter saga is about the wizarding world's dark confrontation with an Apocalyptic evil resulting in the deaths of some very popular main characters and a completely dismal and ambiguous ending. It's all actually pretty dark and scary. I'm told. I mean, I would have no idea. I read it in a magazine. A Canadian magazine. About trucks and cigars. Who's Hermayno? You're gay.

Seriously, though, these posters are hilarious. "What a magical movie about dancing and arm-folding! I wonder if he will ever unfold his arms? NO SPOILERS."

More posters for Harry Potter's Infinite Playlist after the jump.

Accio mouth!
I wrote sixty-three songs this year. They're all about Ron. And I'm going to sing each and every one of them tonight.
Whatever, dad. I'm going out. What? TO THE MALL, THAT'S WHERE.

Previously: Hogwarts School Of Bitchcraft And Jockery
Previously: Harry Potter Got Straight Photobombed

Posted by Gabe at 2:45 PM in
Tags:




50 Comments

An American Patriot

Who the FUCK is the hog next to Ron? I don't even remember that chick. Holy shit I guess I fail and need to read these again.


And wtf is with the ginny and Harry poster? THIS SHIT AIN'T TWILIGHT you can stop CREEPSTARING now!


Thanks,
America.

Posted by: An American Patriot profile link at 06/17/09 2:49 PM | Reply
Score = -32 Vote up Vote down
I PEE GOLD

Patriot you're like a candle in the wind. Unreliable.

Posted by: I PEE GOLD profile link in reply to An American Patriot's comment at 06/17/09 2:55 PM | Reply
Score = 26 Vote up Vote down
An American Patriot

Yeah? WELL GUESS WHAT I PEE GOLD? The world is fucking unreliable. The only thing that is CRAZY RELIABLE I've found are prostitutes. You know, like your mom who I have to say IS NOT LIKE A CANDLE IN THE GODDAMNED WIND AT ALL if you know what I mean with that.

Posted by: An American Patriot profile link in reply to I PEE GOLD's comment at 06/17/09 2:58 PM | Reply
Score = -33 Vote up Vote down
I PEE GOLD

BA-ZING!

Posted by: I PEE GOLD profile link in reply to An American Patriot's comment at 06/17/09 3:07 PM | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down
Funtastik

Can we actually never reply to An American Patriot, ever again? Let's not even downvote or anything. His shtick was born with a boring spoon in its mouth and I can imagine no better way to make it stop than to just ignore him 100%, always. (This is not meant as a personal criticism to you, IPG. I am just speaking my thoughts.)

Posted by: Funtastik profile link in reply to I PEE GOLD's comment at 06/17/09 3:11 PM | Reply
Score = 58 Vote up Vote down
Godsauce

Don't you TEST ME, hlebtastic.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link in reply to Funtastik's comment at 06/17/09 3:21 PM | Reply
Score = 12 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

Thumbs up times a million!

Posted by: Carrie profile link in reply to Godsauce's comment at 06/17/09 3:29 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
I PEE GOLD

I'm in (for what it's worth).

Posted by: I PEE GOLD profile link in reply to Funtastik's comment at 06/17/09 3:23 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
An American Patriot

I don't GIVE A SHIT if you shepple don't want to reply to me. I'M STILL GOING TO WRITE on here.


SORRY TO DISAPPOINT fucker!

Posted by: An American Patriot profile link in reply to Funtastik's comment at 06/17/09 3:31 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Boris Grushenko

Hey honey, dinner is at 7 tonight. Will you be home on time? We're having lasagna and freedom fries.

Posted by: Boris Grushenko profile link in reply to An American Patriot's comment at 06/17/09 3:57 PM | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down
An American Patriot

Alright, listen HERE FATASS cause I'm only going to say this once. I don't give a shit if you follow me around SPAMMING MY COMMENTS. I really don't. As an adult, I CAN HANDLE that shit.


But what you will never, EVER FUCKIN do is bring up anything remotely related to my ex-wife LEAVING ME you heartless fatbastard! Do you hear me? Because I don't EVEN want to get in to what will happen if you didn't.

Posted by: An American Patriot profile link in reply to Boris Grushenko's comment at 06/17/09 4:02 PM | Reply
Score = -3 Vote up Vote down
Constantinople

hey man, if you need, like, support or anything after getting trolled and all, i'm here for you. weekdays mostly. usually after 9:30/10. kinda in and out actually, so if you just want to leave a long, incendiary message in half caps, i'll get back to you as soon as i can.
Lots of Love.

Posted by: Constantinople profile link in reply to An American Patriot's comment at 06/17/09 5:37 PM | Reply
Score = 20 Vote up Vote down
An American Patriot

CONSTANTINOPLE, your warm kindness WARMS MY HEART. I appreciate your concern, something few on THIS WEBSITE seem willing to dole out. AS A BADASS REWARD, I'd like to tell you (and I was gonna keep this shit a secret, BUUT I GUESS I'LL LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG) that "Constantinople" is also the name of the sortofMAIN CHARACTER in my upcoming novel. When I say sortof I mean, like, you know that SHITFEST DOOM? And how it was advertised that DWAYNE 'THE ROCK' JOHNSON was the main character and you get in there and then it's like WTF IS THE GUY FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGS DOING IN HERE AND WHY ARE WE FOCUSING ON HIM?!?!?


Well it's going to be like that, you're like the lord of the rings guy.


IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS or you wanna stay updated on how it's going, feel free to shoot me the shit at AnAmPatriot@gmail.com. I will KEEP YOU UPDATED as best I can. I suppose that goes the same for Istanbul, Spooky Ghost, and schmooner. THOUGH YOU MAY just see some excerpts popping up here!

Posted by: An American Patriot profile link in reply to Constantinople's comment at 06/17/09 9:02 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

Maybe you should read Half-Blood Prince. The girl next to Ron is Lavender Brown.

Posted by: Huffleclaw in reply to An American Patriot's comment at 06/20/09 5:08 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
I PEE GOLD

Is that Paige from Degrassi? What the hell is happening in Hollywood these days?

Posted by: I PEE GOLD profile link at 06/17/09 2:50 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

That is not Paige from Degrassi. I'm told. I mean, I would have no idea.

Posted by: Laur profile link in reply to I PEE GOLD's comment at 06/17/09 5:01 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

LOL, yeah, and when it's not being all Potter's Creek it's copy/pasting various landmarks from downtown London into the backgrounds of the posters, even though virtually NONE of the scenes from the corresponding book take place in corporate London. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM A HUGE NERD.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 06/17/09 2:58 PM | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down
booferama

So if Hermione gets a papercut, will a werewolf/husky dog come to save her?

Posted by: booferama profile link at 06/17/09 3:04 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
Ashley

I seriously thought the first one was fan-made. Oh, Mary Sue.

Posted by: Ashley profile link at 06/17/09 3:06 PM | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down
Elliot

I think they're all 18 now, so let's just be thankful this issue hasn't escalated.

Posted by: Elliot profile link at 06/17/09 3:09 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Udolpho

Hermione is such a great character and I've always been able to relate to her character as I've essentially grown up with these books/movies (I even dressed as Hermione for Halloween when I was 8). I hate how these posters reduce her to just a frightened girl with a crush on Ron, when she's such a kick-ass character. Here's hoping this whimpering image of her isn't all we see in the movie.

Posted by: Udolpho profile link at 06/17/09 3:12 PM | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down
Godsauce

She strikes me as more pensive than frightened.

Posted by: Godsauce profile link in reply to Udolpho's comment at 06/17/09 3:23 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
Detroit Dutchgirl

How long is Wizard School, anyhow? Just askin'.

Posted by: Detroit Dutchgirl profile link at 06/17/09 3:18 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
I PEE GOLD

Some where between a Hobsnagle and a Goosegamble. That's wizard for 7!

Posted by: I PEE GOLD profile link in reply to Detroit Dutchgirl's comment at 06/17/09 3:30 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
I PEE GOLD

Somewhere*(sorry guy'z).

Posted by: I PEE GOLD profile link in reply to I PEE GOLD's comment at 06/17/09 3:34 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
Becca

Nobody puts Hermione in the corner!

Posted by: Becca profile link at 06/17/09 3:19 PM | Reply
Score = 23 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

Can we be friends Jodie? We have the same thoughts.

Posted by: Carrie profile link in reply to Becca's comment at 06/17/09 3:26 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Violet A.

I don't care how ridiculous these posters are, I am still so fucking excited to see this movie.

Posted by: Violet A. profile link at 06/17/09 3:20 PM | Reply
Score = 26 Vote up Vote down

how do you dress as hermione on halloween? catholic school clothes and a cardigan?
but i do wanna see this movie. the fifth one was great thanks to the new director david yates.

Posted by: b at 06/17/09 3:31 PM | Reply
Score = -6 Vote up Vote down
Becca

amirite???

Posted by: Becca profile link at 06/17/09 3:35 PM | Reply
Score = 57 Vote up Vote down
Lux

Yes. you are right.

Posted by: Lux profile link in reply to Becca's comment at 06/17/09 3:39 PM | Reply
Score = 4 Vote up Vote down
An American Patriot

right about wut?

Posted by: An American Patriot profile link in reply to Becca's comment at 06/17/09 3:46 PM | Reply
Score = -13 Vote up Vote down

Yeesh, with all those hormones exploding around I sure hope Hogwarts teaches these kids about birth control, or at least some kind of morning-after spell. "Abortio!"

Posted by: JD at 06/17/09 3:37 PM | Reply
Score = 24 Vote up Vote down
Lux

say anything FTW:
I don't want to accio anything that's been cursed or transfigured, I don't want to curse anything that's been accio'd or transifgured, and I don't want to transfigure anything thats been cursed, accio'd or transfigured.

Posted by: Lux profile link at 06/17/09 3:38 PM | Reply
Score = 22 Vote up Vote down
Movie Maven

Best.

Posted by: Movie Maven profile link in reply to Lux's comment at 06/17/09 3:43 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Whyareyouyelling

How long have you been saving that gem because I wish it was brought to my life sooner. And imagining Quinto saying it is even better. ALL MY FAVORITE WORLDS ARE COLLIDING.

Posted by: Whyareyouyelling profile link in reply to Lux's comment at 06/17/09 6:30 PM | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down
Lux

thank you. it is my personal belief that bringing Quinto into the picture makes anything better ( especially my profile)

Posted by: Lux profile link in reply to Whyareyouyelling's comment at 06/17/09 9:38 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

I feel like such a nerd.. but I don't get it =( Explain please?

Posted by: girlgirlgo in reply to Lux's comment at 06/18/09 8:53 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down
Lux

rent "say anything". In addition to being "in" on more jokes, it will generally make your life a better place.

Posted by: Lux profile link in reply to girlgirlgo's comment at 06/18/09 10:01 AM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
kathleen11

that reminds me, i have to renew my subscription to Canadian Trucker & Cigar Aficionado Weekly.

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 06/17/09 3:45 PM | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down
todd gack

hate to be all fashion police-sta, but Herminone's these-jeans-aren't-on-backwards-but-they-have-back-pockets-in-the-front jeans are super last century. no wonder Ron thinks treats her like chopped liver.

Posted by: todd gack profile link at 06/17/09 4:16 PM | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down
Carrie

Well actually, in the "Potterverse," which is a word I just used, this would be like 1996 so technically it is last century. (I'll show myself out.)

Posted by: Carrie profile link in reply to todd gack's comment at 06/17/09 4:23 PM | Reply
Score = 25 Vote up Vote down
HB

Harry and Ginny weren't even in the same room when those photos were taken. UGH, movie posters, why are you always the worst?

to be fair, I kind of like the last one. . .probably because of the dark knight similarities Becca pointed out.

Posted by: HB profile link at 06/17/09 5:01 PM | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

In real life Hermione would have totally gone after Harry...I mean look at Ron. And Harry and Ginny? He could do better.

Posted by: zach at 06/17/09 5:51 PM | Reply
Score = -3 Vote up Vote down

are u serious? these are the latest posters? I thought u had "enhanced" them for comedy. wow.

Posted by: joker's lady at 06/17/09 7:25 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Is that Mary Lynn Rajskub standing next to Ron?

Posted by: Shane2012 at 06/17/09 9:35 PM | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down
Nazhgalia

63 down, 6 to go! I bet Hermione's version of "Epitaph for My Heart" is epic.

Posted by: Nazhgalia profile link at 06/17/09 10:32 PM | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down
theglowing

This should be Harry potters Empire Strikes Back.

Posted by: theglowing profile link at 06/18/09 1:25 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

dude!! you are so horrible!! you don't know anything about harry potter and if you want to know you need to read the books. Stop hating on things you know nothing about!!! :( :( :( :( :(

Posted by: grizli2293 at 07/08/09 8:32 PM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

these comments are lulz I heart them

Posted by: jm at 07/09/09 2:51 AM | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

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