Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments
This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
Last weekend, something strange happened. Some of the Videogum Monsters created their own secret, password-protected chat room. In 2009! Incredible! I suppose every monster has his cave, or whatever. As it turned out, though, we already had a Videogum Chat Room, originally set up last winter for the 2009 Academy Award Video Pizza Party, and lying dormant, empty and silent ever since. Until now. Now there's monsters in there all the time! It's like that secret room in Harry Potter that you can only find if you are a nerd. You should check it out, if you want. Or don't. This is America, it's up to you. Put it in your pocket for later. Whatever. But this is a weekly feature highlighting the week's best comments, not the week's best chat rooms, and so:
After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, and the Editor's Choice.
This Week's Highest Rated Comments
Posted by: superglue in response to What We Talk About When We Talk About Jeff Dunham
Score = 62
[Ed. note: this is a really funny comment, but it demands context, so I figured I would provide it so everyone can enjoy at their leisure. Superglue originally commented "I'm going to buy tickets to his next comedy show, sneak backstage and fill all of his puppets with farts," to which Sarcastically Misunderstood replied "Do you really want to put money into his pocket?" and then this. Lots Of Love.]
Posted by: werttrew in response to Videogum's Teen Korner: Dreamboat Vampires Only Drive Volvos
Score = 69
Posted by: HarshBrowns in response to The Weezer Snuggie Would Have Been A Lot Funnier A Year Ago
Score = 73
Posted by: kiss the pan in response to What We Talk About When We Talk About Jeff Dunham
Score = 77
Posted by: paperstreetsoap in response to Best New Party Game 11
Score = 82
[Ed. note: wasn't #cowfilms the best, you guys? Y/Y? Yes. I'm still thinking about #cowfilms. I wish #cowfilms was my dad.]
This Week's Lowest Rated Comment
Posted by: Nowak Attack in response to We Should All Be So Lucky As To Find Something In This World That Makes Us Happy, Part Five
Score = -18
[Ed. note: I think it is a sign of how much the monsters have been mashing these days that the lowest rated comment is not only the definition of innocuous, but it's not even very low rated. Look at you guys! And who said monsters could never get along? (This guy did, but who cares about him.)]
This Week's Editor's Choice
Posted by: whoa! in response to CNN Says That Nicolas Cage Says That He Is Broke
[Ed. note: This is funny because Nicolas Cage, the pauper, has made a lot of really awful movies.]
Posted by Gabe at 5:45 PM in Monsters' Ball
Tags: Internet Commenters | Monsters
Monster Twitter List is going to be updated at this URL from now on: http://bit.ly/1DhKzF (It’s a couple days old right now though!! Sorry, I forgot to update it this afternoon but I’ll add a couple more folks tomorrow!) @ reply at @werttrew on Twitter for any updates! Oh and
Score = 22
Upvoted for dancing dolls! Dancing dancing dolls!
Score = 4
Twitter Monster list of http://bit.ly/1DhKzF updated! Again, it'll be updated at that same link from now on, so feel free to bookmark it if you want to keep track of who is who on Twitter.
Score = 0
I'm still bummed you guys didn't jump on Kefir Dot Com.
Score = 2
Yeah, when I got to #cowfilms, I think the moment had passed. Too bad; I had high hopes for How She Moo.
Score = 3
twitter killed the videogum.
Score = 19
monster chat killed the twitter
Score = 6
Seriously. There is too much going on to keep up with... I'm not on the twitter and can barely follow chat room conversations. I can no longer call myself a monster. More like half human, half monster.. A chimera?
All the people who've kept up with this new stuff, do you also have the internet surgically implanted in your brain so you can just constantly be checking lolcats and buzzchan? Do you even speak human language anymore.. why do things change so quickly.
Score = 32
I agree, as a non-Twitterer, I feel so out of the loop! I read Videogum because I'm anti-social. Now everyone's all internet socializing and it makes me feel like listening to Marilyn Manson in the dark while writing poetry in my marble composition book and weeping, my tears washing away all my black eyeliner I've had on since yesterday.
Score = 24
I wouldn't stress about it. I mean it's like deleted scenes or a bloopers reel on a really good DVD. You can still enjoy te movie without the extras.
Score = 11
I'm glad I was able to help someone get into the top 5!
Score = 5
I owe you one. Next time you need an alley-oop, hit me up.
Score = 3
best. chatroom. evar.
Score = 6
Aw, Gabe. The original chatroom wasn't super secretive. The location was readily available to all monsters through twitter networking - even quiet lil monsters like me who didn't really know anyone. The password was just something that came with the type of room we were using, I think.
It is a scientific fact that commenters on Videogum are better than those on most other blogs. When those commenters came together in real time, the magic began to happen. We all converged on it for our own good reasons, and somehow, it worked. I have had some hilarious conversations. I have also had some serious, heartfelt talks.
So, yes. This monster is very happy to have found her cave. Even if no one really uses chatrooms anymore.
/chat room evangelizing.
Score = 6
Everyone I've talked to on Original Monster Chat(TM) is aware that I prefer the password one over the Videogum one, and it's because it's slower-paced and, yeah, mainly accessed by a specific group of monsters (not to say it's exclusive, which it is not!). And okay, everything about the Internet is obviously weird and creepy, but once you accept that fact you are able to have amazing i-convos with amazing e-people almost whenever you want! I really love this new development! And I think we can all agree it is weird and creepy, but no less untrue, when I say that I love all the Monsters too!
Score = 5
Yayayay!
Score = 1
Monster chat is overwhelming sometimes, especially whenever TV discussion comes up, because I really don't watch much (not for any elitist reason. Being at a college where TV's weren't allowed in any rooms other than for movies and videogames kinda took me out of the TV loop for 4 years, and I haven't bothered to get back in.).
That said, it's nice to actually have some casual conversation with you people that isn't just topping each other's one-liners and ZINGS.
Score = 12
Well said (re: topping one-liners and zings). I guess monsters be monsters.
Score = 4
Apropos of nothing, I found a cool gif:
Upvote away!
Score = 39
I feel like I could watch this for eternity, and still not fully understand it. It's beautiful all the same though.
Score = 3
I've learnt my lesson. if not for the game of LIFE, i may have held the coveted spot. good show paperstreetseaport. snoozing, loozing, etc.
Score = 6
I gladly share this award with you. Lets make a best friends necklace by breaking the medal in half. clearly metaphorical of course.
Score = 4
Score = 23
he looks so goddamn smug.
Score = 1
I can't believe I actually won. I was just trying to be a smart ass.
Score = 14
well, you didn't really win... Or if you are trying to be positive, I guess you won at being the worst?
Score = 5
Hey it takes a special kind of non-gender-specific monster to come in last place.
Score = 6
And let's not forget the irony here! By being first, you became last. And so the circle of life continues.
Score = 11
Win is in the eye of the beholder.
Score = 1
I thought your comment was actually funny, FATSO!
Score = 5
This honor is the best burrito I've ever eaten. Stadius said that. So did I.
Score = 17
and a "cool dude" tag to werttrew for giving me the best prize ever.
Score = 6
You're welcome! Looks good on ya!
Score = 0
I was really hoping that Jeff Mangum comment would be #1 so it would start a trend of highly rated Neutral Milk Hotel comments, until for some reason Gave was forced to hire Jeff Mangum as the new permanent co-editor for the good of the Gum
Score = 5
This has totally been posted before, but who cares? Tiny sleepy kitten!!
Score = 14
Who cares if it's been posted before? It's still adorable!
Score = 8
Score = 11
You guys I have terrible news: I think the upvoting on this site may be entirely arbitrary. This week I caught myself upvoting a comment that used the name Walter in it because it reminded me of the Big Lebowski. The comment had nothing to do with the Big Lebowski. But before I noticed that I upvoted it like a goddamned zombie. I don't know if I can be trusted to make an informed vote on these comments. Are you hearing me? THESE COMMENTS ARE A SHAM!! (Except for the ones that won, they are good.)
Score = 16
Well, let's not even talk about the influence of the current number of upvotes on the likelihood of my upvoting a comment (e.g., if it's a high but not really high number, I'm probably more likely to upvote, though probably the reverse is true for some people).
I THOUGHT THIS WAS SCIENCE!
Score = 5
I CALL AGAIN FOR METRICS
Score = 2
Hleb, I upvote anything even tangentially related to the Big Lebowski. I probably upvoted the same comment you did. In fact, I'm putting a Lebowski gif in this comment and promptly upvoting myself.
Score = 26
HEY MON-STARS! I was thinking, could we use this week's ball to post pictures of ourselves? I am kind of curious to know what you cats look like. I know this may come as a surprise, but I am not really an anthropomorphic bag of popcorn.
I would go ahead and post my photo right now, but I know some people can be touchy about the whole internet identity thing. I don't want to kick-start something that everyone hates and doesn't want to do. BUT SO. If we get some yesses up in here, can we get posting? I would basically like to take our relationship to the next level.
Score = 12
Score = 25
Haha. Thanks, Kenny. Sometimes you make me chuckle.
Score = 8
"Sometimes."
Score = 4
I just saw your picture on Twitter. You look like Rosie O'Donnell.
Score = -14
man, calm down with the neg talk. i can see how carrie's "sometimes" was a bit of a zing and might've hurt your feelings, but that's totally not license to insult her looks. that shit is uncalled for.
IT'S SO COLD IN THE GUM. (but it doesn't have to be.)
Score = 10
You are like the "real" Kenny Powers, only less funny and more of an asshole. When you're not posting GIFs made by other people, you run out of things to contribute and you default into acting like a really shitty person. Knock it off.
Score = 9
STFU. It was your half assed backhanded compliment that started this in the first place. And what is so horrible about looking like Rosie O'Donnell? I think you guys owe both me and Rosie an apology.
Score = -9
Yes, it was. "Sometimes." Thank you for continuing to prove me right.
Score = 10
No problem. The lord knows that I live to make young gay Leonard Nimoy chuckle "sometimes".
Score = -12
God, you and Carrie are like the two coworkers who constantly bitch at each other to mask their deep-seated passion for each other's junk. Why can't you guys just fuck already and get it over with?
Score = 4
I'm with Carrie on this one - and not just because I want to bang her like a co-worker (wtf?). Kenny is being a dick, and she called him on it. If you want to make it into sexy time, that's really more your deal.
Score = 6
I e-like Carrie, but I'm pretty sure she's made a bunch of passive-aggressive comments towards KP in the past. That definitely doesn't justify what he said, and if I had to arbitrarily pick sides (for whatever reason), it would be Carrie's. But it seems like this has been a back-and-forth thing with them for a while, so it reminded me of some people at my old job that use to bitch at each other all the time. They hooked up at an office party, and ended up getting married this summer. Such is life.
Score = 3
Professor Carrie's History of Passive-Aggressive Comments Towards KP over here. See you at the company picnic.
Score = 3
Sorry. I meant no offense at all, I just thought it was something I noticed. Perhaps I was wrong. I'm as passive-aggressive as they come, so I hope that didn't offend you. Cheers.
Score = 4
Why be a jerk, Kenny Powers? For that comment, I mentally strip you of any upvotes I have ever given you. I don't understand why you feel the need to be insulting to the monstahs. We are nice, good folk. We have tolerated you and your ilk and made yall part of the family. Just chillax and be cool, dude.
Score = 10
Id put a pic up but apparently all of my images get eaten up
Score = 0
I need to take a KP internet school classtimes lesson
Score = 0
I did that last week, and some bastards immediately downvoted my baby picture. Never again! If you want to see my face, you'll have to pretend to like me on twitter like everybody else.
Score = 11
My avatar is actually an older photo of me. I thought everybody's was.
Funtastik, iz u relly popcorn?
Score = 7
Actually, I'm totally down with this, but I don't want to be the first one to post (I had my spine surgically removed last year) and find out that no one else did. So if someone wants to tip this first domino I'll be glad to fall down with the rest of you.
Score = 2
It is? That is really cool! Your avatar is fantastic. The last time my avatar reflected my appearance was well over a year ago. I wonder if any old V-gummers remember. In any case, as long as ONE OTHER PERSON is on board, we can do this together. I will wait until tomorrow to see how much extra support we've earned, and then we can dive in, holding hands, as if we were taking part in some sort of sacrificial ritual. YOU AND ME, THAT ONE.
Score = 1
That's me to the left, because I have no imagination.
Score = 4
A bit too huge to post here directly, but this is me and my fiancee: http://tinyurl.com/y9vukz7
Score = 7
The old link stopped working, so let me try reposting it with a non-Tiny Url thingie: http://13.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksjqg2mged1qap6hpo1_500.jpg
Score = 1
People post their pics all the time, in Monsterchat and Twitter.
Score = 3
Maybe I'll post a tiny pic, when I see some more pic in here! Id like to think that this place is where I can be secretly...
Score = 1
Right, so. Here is a photo of me doing some artsy shit because I am a dancer and an arts student. (Jealous?) And here is a photo of me mugging it up with a friend because I am super gay and what do you want from my life.
(Jump in! The photo water is fine!)
Score = 10
what's up, hunky mcdanceypants-sexyface!
good job being hot in the face!
Score = 10
Nice pics. You look like a young gay Leonard Nimoy.
Score = -10
A box of popcorn has never been so deceiving! What a fox!
Score = 6
DAMN, BETCH! YOU FINE AS HELL!
Score = 5
Since no one else posted a pic, but you, I feel obligated to post mine..
Score = 8
Aww, you're adorable! I appreciate the support in this failed picture-posting movement. Ten people upvoted my original proposal, so I expect to see TEN PICTURES by the end of sometime. (PS: Werttrew also posted his picture, but it seems his link now just spits out some broken XML. It was a very cute picture when it existed, though!)
Score = 3
Your monster maths is faulty. But you posted very cute pictures, so I forgive.
Score = 0
I posted a new link to that picture of me and my fiancee.
Score = 2
Oh alright, what the hell. My actual real face is now in my avatar. I think. Although I'm still seeing Sandy Frink here. And as much as I'd like to be Alan Cumming, I'm not Alan Cumming. I just like to type Cumming. Cumming Cumming Cumming. Hahaha. I am an adult.
Score = 5
Too bad you are only worth 5 gulden!
Score = 0
Since we got the Euro, I've become a collector's item.
Score = 1
I told the girls I was goin to the monsters ball, they totes wanted to come...
Score = 5
OH noes LADYS FACE GOT CUT OFF
Score = 4
I am very happy with Videogum 2.0 Except for the SHACKLES that is the user name. But it's okay because I have a family of people who get my jokes. Yay Videogum 2.0!
Score = 10
hey, what happened to 4 LYFE!!?
Score = 1
I killed it. I didn't want to make Dad angry. It's very :(
Score = 0
Score = 12
Where'd you find that picture of me?!
Score = 11
Score = 12
you are easily the cutest commenter on this blog.
Score = 0
Aww. This made me sad.
Score = 3
Oh man, I'm so happy that my comment from the beginning of the week held on for the ball. I really needed this today as a ramp into my weekend and to keep my mind off of like 1000 people being shot to death this week (seriously, what the fuck is with all of these shootings?). So thank you, monsters. I hope none of you massacres anyone with an assault rifle this weekend.
Score = 9
That comment made me laugh so much. And I am so glad Gabe included that prior comments for those who didn't catch it. Winning comments that come with an assist credit are my favorites!
I also wish you could actually put farts in that guy's puppets. And maybe his mouth, too.
Score = 4
Whatever funny I am on my own, I'm about 1000% funnier riffing off someone else, so sincere thanks actually do go to Sarcastically Misunderstood for the assist. It's really going to help me in my Videogum Monster Fantasy League.
Score = 8
Score = 9
You are a handsome man Kenny.
Score = 6
Oh my god, we get it.
Score = 11
I would post my picture, but I am 15 and do not want this site to be overtaken by Pedobear! You can see my pic on Twitter...
Score = 5
Wow I thought i was the only high schooler on here, i am also 15
Score = 2
I'm also 15
Score = 2
hey guys what page were we supposed to read up to in A Separate Peace
Score = 17
All of you are blowing my mind so hard right now. (AND NOTHING ELSE. Anyone suggesting TWSS can go straight to jail.) YouTube has taught me that no 15 year-old may ever comment coherently, let alone with a well-developed sense of humor.
I would insert a "The More You Know" graphic here, but I already made that joke this week, so here is a Reading Rainbow graphic instead! (Rest in peace, Reading Rainbow.)
Score = 3
Let's be friends, guys!
Score = 1
lets do it!
Score = 2
napolean were do u live, cause me and harshbrowns go to the same school, uh-oh i hope thats not against the rules
Score = 7
I'm not 15, but I am in high school.
Score = 2
Score = 9
Score = -12
Everybody knows that you never go full retard.
(I'm so so sorry)
Score = 11
Score = 25
why is this cat so hypnotic? left. right. left. right...
Score = 6
This is me.
Score = 10
Sorry everybody, just posting a comment to see if my avatar gif works, apologies
Score = 1
Score = 4
Score = 17
Chimps acting like people freak me out.
Score = 3
WARNING: Sincerity
But I think seeing chimps/gorillas/monkeys acting like humans is the most beautiful thing in the world.
Score = 2
I think your search is over because AWW so cute.
Score = 2
Why be a jerk, Kenny Powers? For that comment, I mentally strip you of any upvotes I have ever given you. I don't understand why you feel the need to be insulting to the monstahs. We are nice, good folk. We have tolerated you and your ilk and made yall part of the family. Just chillax and be cool, dude.
Score = 3
dammit- double post embarrassed.
Score = 1