Monsters' Ball: The Week's Best Comments
This week's five highest rated comments as voted on by you, the lowest rated comment as voted on by you, and the editor's choice.
Los Angeles is so different from New York. I'm surprised that no one has ever commented on that before. For example: in Los Angeles everyone drives cars, but in New York everyone takes the subway. AND OTHER DIFFERENCES. In any case, I am glad to be back with you guys where I belong, in the mud. Who knew that Oprah peeing for 10 minutes would create so much mud? It's up to my knees in here! Yuck, Oprah! Anyway...
After the jump: the Top 5 comments as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, and the Editor's Choice.
This Week's Highest Rated Comments
"fake"
Posted by: That One in response to That's Your Boyfriend: Corey Feldman
Score = 48
Posted by: werttrew in response to That's Your Sitcom: Sherri
Score = 49
[Ed. note: I wish! Then I probably would have gotten my "Vodka and Fudge" fleece for free instead of having to pay $49.]
Posted by: what the what! in response to Best New Party Game 9
Score = 51
Posted by: Ian in response to Best New Party Game 9
Score = 52
Posted by: Weeam in response to Best New Party Game 9
Score = 75
[Ed. note: Well played, Weeam. Well played.]
This Week's Lowest Rated Comment
Posted by: Senor Bunch in response to Videogum: California Edition
Score = -38
[Ed. note: thanks for reading, Senor Bunch!]
This Week's Editor's Choice
Posted by: Bubbles in response to The Videogum Movie Club: Whip It!
[Ed. note: boy oh boy, Gabe Liedman KILLED IT on his Whip It! review this week. He is such a talented writer and hilarious comedian. Just one of the best guys, and that deserves to be said often and loudly. I am sure that Robert Ebert, whoever that is, would agree.]
Posted by Gabe at 5:45 PM in Monsters' Ball
Tags: Internet Commenters | Monsters
So help me Gabe if you ever again drop your prodigious output from eight posts a day to four I will just fall to pieces, I just will.
Score = 25
We just need something to distract us. Like children. If Gabe ever takes a vacation again, he just has to leave us with a couple of best new party games and that'll keep us busy for a few days.
Score = 17
Da Cake Eateur is rolling in his grave.
Score = 9
grave? that motherfucker's out somewhere, alive and well, laughing at us all.
Score = 18
I don't know who you are, pal, but your profile image and sn make me happy to know that I'm not the only one with an abnormally large knowledge capacity for shitty early 2000s disney channel movies.
Score = 12
I'm also glad to hear that there's THE OTHER ME. Get it? Ony you would...
Score = 6
Wait, there's a Disney movie in which Moses sits on top of a backboard overlooking a giant penis? You know, for kids!
Score = 23
The girlfriend INSISTED I give this comment an avid "THAAAANK YOU!!!!". I agree with less vowels. But seriously that guy looks, at a glance, like a penis (I didn't want to say 'that guy looks like a penis at a glance' because there are all sortsa ways to take that one in)
Score = 2
I wish I could upvote you more than once!!
Score = 0
SMART HOUSE. Whenever I move I rate the apartments I visit on a sliding scale of how much I think it can be personified by Katey Sagal. That and how easily I could barricade myself in case of zombie attack.
Score = 6
Johnny Tsunami changed my life.
Score = 1
Pepe Silvia changed my life.
Score = 2
There is noooooo Carol in HR. Mac, this place is a goddamned ghost town.
Score = 2
Did Barney tip you off?
Score = 1
clever monsters
Score = 0
No embedded images? No images, everyone! Get out your pussycake and fudge-flavored vodka to celebrate!
Score = 16
A round of pussycakes for us all!
Score = 41
More like Uncanny Valley-cake.
Score = 33
i love you.
Score = 7
everyone, please stop saying pussycake.
Score = 9
MR. Fluffles!!!
Score = 12
Oh, and remember, everyone: get crackin' on that wig-winning Kate Gosselin fanfic. Those hair zings and Ed Hardy jokes aren't going to write themselves! I really want to read more than just the winning one, so I hope there is some sort of Monster Gallery of Hilarity or at least runners-up for us to read. I love you guys, you crack me up!
Score = 11
Agreed. Though I will lose (I NEVER LOSE!!!), I would still like to post my story in the comments section to be downvoted by the monsters. As has been proven, there is no character limit. However, I will not do so unless authorized by Senor Delahaye.
Score = 5
PLEASE TELL me you ARE writing ONE too!
Score = 3
Claro que si! How can I resist the lure of the Kate Gosselin wig?!
Score = 2
OMG I don't even have time to post a kitten gif or talk about how much I agree that Soft Gabe's review was the best BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SEE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN I'M SO EXCITED
Score = 7
Sweet, editor's choice!
Score = 8
I refuse to participate in the party games. They take the already present undercurrent of competitive hilarity here and amp it way up. I can't deal with that kind of pressure. I probably won't be able to think of anything for the Kate Gosselin contest either, for the same reason. I am a weak and impotent commenter. :(
(That being said "I see dead people and you're one of them" is absolutely brilliant.)
Score = 19
AND everyone always disregards the basic premise of the "game" and just writes something like "Sometimes you have to go halfway around the world to I hate this movie." Stick with the RULEZ, y'all. Get it right or pay the price.
Score = 6
Sorry for having such a mediocre comment take a spot from the many hilarious things I've read this week. I would have thought my richly detailed vagina cake had a better chance. You guys liked that one, right? No? Well then you're just a sexist!
Score = 15
I liked it! I posted it on tumblr.
Score = 4
Cute Animal Images Parade!!
Score = 13
Score = 14
Score = 0
I just want to know what is going on with Topher Grace goddamnit.
Score = 19
I saw on E! that he got a movie part. I instantly thought, "I can't wait to read about that on Videogum."
Score = 4
Topher was recently playing air guitar! Topher “spent a good amount of time at the bar playing air guitar to a soundtrack of Guns 'N Roses tunes,” according to People magazine.
Score = 7
I like to think if Oprah had peed for 10 minutes just a little earlier in the week, I might be on this esteemed list. Then again, the Nobel thing might not have been as current.
Synergy fail?
Score = 2
SO DID they REMOVE the whole YOU HAVE TO be registered TO WIN rule? JUST wondering!
Score = 0
Oh, I know he's still at large, heres an artists' rendering of what he looks like now...
http://blog.ultimatebet.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/18818372.jpg
Score = 3
oops that was supoused to be a reply to woozefa's comment, sorry monsters.
Score = 1
YOU'RE REALLY STA'TIN' TO PISS ME OFF
Score = -1
jailbait
Score = 0
Please don't use that type of language in my classroom, Mr. Matthews
Score = 3
It is hard to make the top comments. You have to stay sharp. you must comment within a reasonable amount of time otherwise other 'Gummers are not going to even see it. You must have patience, and act with timeliness. You must post with impunity.
Score = 3
YOU have to BRING the POST. YOU HAVE to be IN IT to WIN it. BUT MOST importantly, YOU HAVE TO HAVE clear EYES, full hearts, SO YOU can't LOSE!
Score = 6
wow, are you a coach? Cause i feel EFFIN PUMPED! WE ARE GOING TO KICK [rival high school]'s ASS! WE ARE THE BEST AT SPORTS! WE ARE GOING TO COMMENT YOUR BRAINS OUT! MONSTERS RULE! BOO-YAH!
lots of love patriot.
Score = 7
Score = 29
YOU TOOK those pictures RIGHT? I'm JUST GOING to go AHEAD AND assume THIS IS what you KENNY Powers does IN YOUR spare time BECAUSE IT IS awesome.
Score = 8
Score = 26
whaaaa the FUUUCK WHAT the fuuuck what THE FUCK WHAT the FUCK WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Score = 22
I second that.
Score = 2
I hate that gif so much. I hate the two shape-shifters on the right, I hate the crazy one talking to himself, I hate the one SWALLOWING a FUCKING RAT WHOLE. Ugh.
Score = 14
That owl ate the fuck out of that rat!
Score = 3
If this is a scene from The Fourth Kind, it just might be the scariest movie ever made.
Seriously, holy shit, those owls are a living nightmare factory.
Score = 3
Whoa!! What is it eating!!? A giant rat!?
Score = 0
holy shit holy shit HOLY SHIT.
Score = 1
That's the most horrifying image I've seen in a long time, make it stop.
Score = 0
It is horrifying!! Buy why can't I stop watching it??
Score = 0
Between watching that gif in horror and scrolling down to read your comment and subsequently busting my gut laughing, I think this is a win.
Score = 1
Wouldn't it be weird if there was a Videogum meet and greet? I think it would feel like an awkward high school reunion.
Score = 5
I think THEY KINDA did that SHIT AT the ONE YEAR bday BASH (yeah, I WAS READING this shit THEN, but I hadn't STARTED commenting).
Score = 2
I think about this often. I'm actually going to be in New York in a couple weeks and am constantly like "WHAT IF I RUN INTO GABE OR SOMEONE FROM VGUM," but I realized I actually can't focus on that right now, because I'm too intent on running into Jesse Eisenberg. Seriously though, if I ever met anyone from Vgum I wouldn't have enough time to think about the weirdness because it would instantly create a black hole that would devour all of us.
Score = 7
I always wonder what would happen if I ran into Gabe one day. I always imagine I say something hilarious and he asks me to be bffs and be a videogum correspondent. Then I realize that I probably wouldn't say anything, but just stand there awkwardly and pretend not to know who he was.
Score = 11
It'd be pretty weird just to have everyone post pictures of themselves. Oh my god.. moonmaster isn't a young white male with spiky frosted tips?! Kenny Powers is a young asian woman?!?! woozefa has front legs?! an american patriot looks just like my dad?.. oh, wait..no that one's just right.
Score = 7
I AM your FATHER.
Score = 12
Fantastic.. we can discuss the caps in person at the dinner on Sunday for Nikki's birthday. Tell me you're not bringing the pussycake..
Score = 3
I DON'T bring the pussycake; the PUSSYCAKE COMES to me.
Score = 6
I remember when I started lurking, I commented on a ball-shaving post, and someone said something like "Remember, at the next VG meet up, That One is the guy who shaves his balls". My first thought was "Holy shit, you guys have orgies?!". And then I stayed around for year waiting for that Videogum orgy. So far, no dice.
Score = 11
i wouldn't know what an awkward high school reunion is like since i'm still in high school
Score = 2
jailbait
Score = 4
Ah, man. I had a dream about that a couple of weeks ago. It was so weird. AnAmPat was the annoying Republican that sits next to me in Social Studies and Becca was the nice girl that works at the cash register at Rite Aid.
Score = 2
M i l l i o n a i r e C u p i d.o r g__ is a community for those seeking interracial relationships, friendships, dating and more. Join now to meet your dream date in this comfortable community of cultures and ethnicities.
Score = -9
M i l l i o n a i r e C u p i d.o r g__ is a community for those seeking interracial relationships, friendships, dating and more. Join now to meet your dream date in this comfortable community of cultures and ethnicities.
Score = -8
Cool, cool. uhh which one of us is supposed to be the millionaire again? Just clarifying..
Score = 7
Your constant spamming is TEARING ME APART, LISA!!!
(Disclaimer: I apologize if someone else has already made this reply to this spammer and I missed it)
Score = 6
Can we continue the cute animal parade? I just saw Paranormal Activity and I am afraid to sleep.
Score = 6
This thread definitely needs more red pandas.
Also, sorry (kinda) about the owl nightmare factory gif. This is all I see now whenever I see an owl pic, so I thought I'd share a moment in my miserable owl-related life.
Score = 10
I'm not sure if it was the owls or the following comments, but I thought it was hilarious.
Score = 1
Score = 4
I want to smooch that red panda on its itty bitty nose and hug it and smoosh its ears. Is that weird?
Score = 1
Score = 3
Woopsie, resize fail...
Score = 0
Score = 11
Score = 5
Score = 8
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/10/09/soulja.boy.arrested/index.html
You guys, Soldier Boy got arrested.
Score = 3
Is this IN BAD taste?
Score = 3
Is that a reference to ICP? Not being sarcastic here.
Score = 0
I win, because this is my actual dog. Is this something you can win?
Score = 16
I would totally trump you (B/C I NEVER LOSE!!!!) by posting a picture of my boys, but that would cross the line severely into internet-creepy. Plus, I wouldn't want them to appear right above a classy dame like angel love.
Score = 5
You got a cute little guy. This is my actual dog in my actual shower....
Score = 10
Welcome to http://wealthyloves.bravehost.com/ , the best free online dating service that helps single girls, and guys, men and women, meet other singles, who may be looking for friendships, love, romance and marriage.
Score = -2
Welcome to http://wealthyloves.bravehost.com/ , the best free online dating service that helps single girls, and guys, men and women, meet other singles, who may be looking for friendships, love, romance and marriage.
Score = -2
Hey, angel love!! I really like your profile pic, I have a matching mesh top! I'm thinking about taking you up on your offer, but you list friendships, love, romance and marriage. I only want the latter option. I mean, I'm a 20 year old guy who has a long term girlfriend, but every time I mention marriage she gets freaked out and then I cry, she says we broke up 8 months ago! DUH, April Fools much?! Not me, it takes more than a restraining order (or four) to stop this Romeo! It seems your site may have the answer to my question. I was wondering if the girls are the wealthy loves, or if I'm supposed to be wealthy? Or perhaps BOTH! Will there be any Fijian girls who like Albert Camus books, green tea, and Neutral Milk Hotel tattoos? Please get back to me as I'm eager to start my venture into marriage today. My email is hot_male@hotmail.com. I'm also a haemophiliac and I'm not what you would call 'wealthy', in fact I have nothing apart from hope in my heart and a smile on my face. Thanks for this opportunity. W.b
Score = 26
This is touching, little vacuum (which, of course, the Brits call a "biscuit"). I feel like this whole thread (the talk of a meet and greet and posting our own pictures above + this) is headed in a very disturbing direction. It starts with oversharing, then all of us will friend each other on Facebook, and eventually we will meet up for a VGum orgy (Orgygum 2009, natch) and/or juggalo festival. I am not opposed to those things happening. I just thought I might point that out. I'll bring the Trojans and/or Faygo!
Score = 5
Yeh, I kinda want all the monsters to add me on twitter and be part of my life! (I'm not joking) Also, I'm going to New York in November for my 21st and kinda want to see Big Terrific and I always think, "what would I do if I saw a monster" and then, of course I'd wonder if me and Kiss the Pan would finally just suck it up and have a wonderful threesome!
This is a picture of me.
VGUM ORGIE 09!! Let's out do the juggalos, as us Gabealos know how to do it. WOOP! (or something excitable and manly)
Score = 11
I can't figure out what's more disturbing, the owl .gif or this MONSTROSITY [get it?]
If y'all will excuse me, I'ma go not sleep for a week.
Score = 0
ehm, "of course I'd wonder if me and Kiss the Pan would finally just suck it up and have a wonderful threesome!"
How do you make a threesome out of you and Kiss the Pan?
Score = 0
We invite you, duh.
Score = 2
haha, ok.. could 've seen that one coming! :p
Score = 0
I wish I could upvote this more than once.
Score = 1
Excuse me? yeah, there's a nipple in my coffee?
Score = 3
What THE HELL? Did VIDEOGUM SUDDENLY become Twitter?
Score = 2
Anyone here want to date the colonel? I don't have a website, but I do have a p.o. box.
Score = 10
Score = 4
Slow lorises are fucking adorable, but their eyes look like peeled grapes.
Score = 6
Here's my real life imaginary friend.
Isn't he cute?
Score = 15
Since we're sharing... this is my cat Voodoo kitty.
Score = 8
Score = 8
Wow! I'm truly honored to have the number one spot this week! Thanks everyone! P.S. does anyone else get the feeling that Gabe doesn't like me very much?
Score = 2
Welcome to http://wealthyloves.bravehost.com/ , the best free online dating service that helps single girls, and guys, men and women, meet other singles, who may be looking for friendships, love, romance and marriage.
Score = -2
Welcome to http://wealthyloves.bravehost.com/ , the best free online dating service that helps single girls, and guys, men and women, meet other singles, who may be looking for friendships, love, romance and marriage.
Score = -2
Hi, Tina. I spoke to your colleague Angel about the possibility of me getting married? I have not yet received an email and this makes concerned. You offer false hopes and dreams. I may not be a 'wealthy love' but at least I have my integrity. Your company has photobombed my heart Tina. Good day to you.
Score = 8
Unfortunately, jawbone, www.wealthyloves.bravehost.com is an exclusive "Millionaire & Celebrity Dating Club."
Are you a millionaire and/or a celebrity?
Score = 2
I one went to a Steven Seagal concert, so, yes?
Score = 3
Once*, my keyboard keeps sticking, I'm going to use my millions to buy a new one. DO YOU HEAR THAT TINA/ANGEL? MILLIONS! Millions=marriage. Millions does not solve impotency.
Score = 3
I hope "tina" ends up being da cake eatur. Not "Angel Love" though.
Score = 1