Lost: The Question Is WHEN Is Sawyer's Beard?
Last night's episode of Lost was the weakest of the season. But the new season of Lost is like pizza. Even when it's bad it's got mushrooms on it? I don't know how expressions work.
So, "three years earlier," "three years later," ))<>((. Sawyer is the head of Dharma Security? Wha wha wha whaaaaaa?! (Also, Herc from Friday Night Lights worked for Dharma Security in the '70s? Wha wha wha whaaaaa! Clear eyes, full hearts, can't LOST.) Now that Locke has left the island, the time jumping has stopped, and the gang is stuck in the '70s. They come upon a woman about to get gang-raped. Who cares who they are, we don't even know when they are! So Juliette and Sawyer shoot them. Is every single survivor of Oceanic flight 815, after being dropped onto a mysterious and perilous deserted island with no chance of rescue, also an actual murderer now? Have they all taken a human life? We're gonna need a bigger therapist! The woman is like "thank you for not letting me get gang-raped, KIND OF," but also she uses the old "ear plugs through the sonic smokemonster fence" to trick them. Blah blah blah, Sawyer was a con man, etc, etc, and in the end they get to stay on the island (because Sawyer talks to "old eyeliner McGee" and preserves "the truce"). Sawyer and Juliette! Stupid story about some wooden Ankh necklace forcefully wedged into the show the way they're going to forcefully wedge in a Sawyer and Kate reunion. And now we know for sure (although we already knew for duh) that the reason Jack et al disappeared in a flash from that Guam Plane was because they got time-jumped to the '70s, while the rest of the plane (including Locke and Ben) are stuck (lost, you might say!) in the boring old present. This is going to make headlines in the Coconut Telegraph!
But the real question of last night's episode isn't where is Sawyer's beard. It's WHEN is Sawyer's beard?
Three years earlier:
Three years later:
Three years earlier:
Three years later:
Three years earlier:
Three years later:
Three years earlier:
Three years later:
Three years earlier:
Three years later:
Three years earlier:
Three years later:
Three years earlier:
Three years later:
As you can see, in the Three Years Later of the 1970s present, Sawyer's beard appears to have stopped beard-jumping all over the place. The beard-needle is back on the beard-record, so to speak. But Three Years Earlier, his beard was all over the place. It gave me a headache and a nosebleed. John Locke saved Sawyer's beard.
Also:
I know, right?!
Posted by Gabe at 11:00 AM in Love-Watching
Tags: Lost
Dharma is a bunch of tree huggers
Score = 0
Again, Kate fucks everything up at the end.
The thought of her being run over by a Dharma bus is not at all disagreeable.
Score = 18
Great detective work with the beard! I usually notice these types of things, but this one got past me.
Score = -2
I hope I'm not the only one who thinks the sequence of Sawyer's beard is a lame thing to pick on.
I mean, all the 'three years earlier' pics of his beard don't seen to be THAT much of an egregious, continuity error.
But you are right about the statue Gabe. Totally.
Score = 9
30% of the reason I watch Lost is to find out about the foot statue. The giant statue was like finding out you can ammend your taxes for an extra 1000 dollar refund, but you actually only get 478 dollars. Which I mean, HEY! STILL!
15% of the reason I watch Lost is to see Kate's tired, dead end of a character die when she spills the beans about what's up w/Aaron and she dies and Jack and Sawyer have to reconcile some tension between them because of that.
The other 55% is because this show is awesome.
Score = 8
I was super excited when Sawyer referenced the fact that Nestor Carbonell does indeed wear eyeliner.
Score = 16
according to the internet he may not. People say he just looks like that.
Score = 0
You love Sawyer so much.
Part of me wants to take issue with your characterization of this episode as weak, but your pizza comment is thoroughly accurate. I would eat this season of LOST cold, out of the box, the next day.
And Nestor Carbonell is my boyfriend.
Score = 3
Do we know for sure that Locke, Ben and the "New Losties" are in the present? Maybe the building they stumbled into was abandoned by Dharma in the early 70s. I'm hoping that's the case because if they're in different time periods I'm going to make my one goal in life flipping the bird to Damon and Carlton, regardless of how they resolve it.
Score = 3
locke and those other guys are definitely in the same time as sawyer juliette jack hurley kate, etc. he was on the plane when with everyone else when they flashed back to the 70's, so theres no reason to believe he didnt go with them (and ill say those new ppl were in the flash bubble).
ive heard talk of ben now being stuck with lapedis and whoever else with the plane (if it crashed, or whatever, who knows?)
Score = -2
Say what you will about the episode, but the Sawyer -- Richard exchange might have been my favorite part of the whole season.
Score = 10
Weakest episode?! This was one of my favorite episodes this season. Yes, it was more emotional character-driven stuff than sci fi. But the amazing thing about Lost is how good it is at switching gears. This was just great tv.
Score = 16
Agreed. Best of the season so far. And this is coming from someone who hated most character driven episodes like The Constant
Score = 2
How was this episode weak again? The gang goes to the 70s and becomes part of the Dharma Initiative. Yeah, talk about BORING TELEVISION. I guess I'd be a Lost apologist, if what I was apologizing for wasn't discrepancies with Sawyer's beard length? Exactly.
Also, was kind of hoping Herc's Dharma partner in the opening scene would look behind the dumpster at Winkie's.
Score = 16
I was hoping Herc's Dharma Partner would make Hurley cry by riffing on how fat he is.
Score = 0
This is what you guys all sound like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc
But about Sawyer's beard. AWW, POOR SAWYER'S BEARD.
Score = -10
All I'm saying is you need to been had come strong with it, Gabe. Look, everything sucks, even the stuff you like, WE GET IT. And it's fine, that's "your thing," but this Lost recap was like your Soulja Boy Stanky Leg moment. You're just wiggling around and not doing much.
In other words, I hope you have the funnest dinner.
Score = 21
Sawyer's beard was gone at the camp because he shaved it off in the years he spent there. Not that difficult.
Score = 2
Professor Beard over here, doling out the Beard Science.
YES, RALPH, WE KNOW THAT. It's the beard-jumping that happens every time Sawyer beard-shifts that is funny.
Man. If I had known you guys were going to be a bunch of beard police I would have...well, I wouldn't have done anything differently, but stop being such beard police. Total Narc School.
Score = 0
hey gabe, "))>((" equals "amazing". nicely done.
Score = 1
The Sawyer and Richard meeting was the best part of last night's episode, but I was all "Aww" at Sawyer and Juliette. And then when Kate showed up, I was all "Uh oh". And though I was never a huge Juliette fan, she was pretty dreamy last night; with the dead nuts shooting, fixing Volkswagen vans, and then delivering a baby. I think they even showed her cooking at the Dharma house. She also looks pretty good in a dirty tank-top.
Too bad we have to wait two weeks for another episode.
Score = 5
I agree the episode was weak. We have castaways working for the DI and we didn't get to find out any new tidbits except for a few unspecific lines about "the truce". Lame. And Sawyer's beard was a way for the writers to say "not where are we but WHEN are we" to the audience without dialogue.
Score = -3
Weak? Only as weak as every episode of Lost has been since Charlie killed the Underwater Lesbians.
Score = 0
Hmm. Am I the only one who thinks the back of the statue looks suspiciously like the back of Jar Jar Binks?
Score = 6
and Jimmy Barrett from MAD MEN must have gotten tired of being a comedian in the 60s and left to go work for Dharma Security in the '70s? whaaaaa?
Score = 3
If we're measure in beard-seconds, we should be able to find when exactly is Sawyer's beard.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beard-second#Beard-second
Score = 1
I can't figure out your emoticon ))>((. What emotion is that?
Score = -4
Maybe a reference to Me and You and Everyone We Know? Check out this Wiki article, third paragraph in the Plot section.
In the movie, the boy who creates the ))>(( symbol says it's one person pooping into another person's butt, back and forth, forever. Which is kinda a 100% perfect symbol for Gabe's assessment of this Lost episode.
Score = 7
Ahem. I believe the expression is ))>((
Score = -2
I'm so embarrassed. I meant to say ))>(( That's the expression.
Score = -1
Oh man, you fucked it up twice! ))>((
Score = -1
What the eff, videogum? you can't ))>((??? You guys got some kind of moral problem with pooping back and forth into eachother's butts forever? The poop only goes one way in your blogoverse?
Score = -2
Yeah, I was pretty washed out on LOST, but this episode completely revitalized my faith in this season/series.
Score = -3
If anything the episode was a success because it made me stop hating Sawyer. He's much more interesting as a responsible leader than always bluffing with the stupid nicknames. And I like him with Juliet too. But you had to know they were gonna do the "Oh shit Kate's back" take at the end. Other than that though it's a top notch episode.
But really Juliet and Sawyer make more sense. They've had 3 years to grow together. Kate was just a few days or a couple weeks at most. Of course Sawyer will have to flip out and ruin things with Juliet 'cuz that TV but really. His speech to Horace about 3 years being long enough should hold true. You could tell it was just to set up the "complications" of Kate coming back. He should blow her off and LOST should be done with the Kate/Sawyer/Jack bullshit. Tired of it.
Score = 3
agreed. Juliet and Sawyer are better together and it makes more sense for them to be a couple. Kate is just annoying. She's better with Jack anyway. Pick one and stick to it!
Score = 0
juliet is such sloppy seconds around the island.
also, this episode was my favorite so far. i think everyone is stuck in the 70s (locke and the new people) because they said last episode that there were boats on the island that they found (lapidis and sun ran off with one of them) which makes me think that they belonged to the original others? I don't know. It would seem silly if they were stuck in present time.
Score = 0
Absolute trash review. Someone was trying REAL hard to write something snarky about this episode. Better luck next time.
Score = 0
This was my favorite episode ever As for the beard people shave beards and grow them back. My husband is the perfect example.
Score = 2
Beards are as unpredictable as having a kid character in a show where time is suppose to go by pretty slowly... for seasons and seasons at a time.
I thought the episode was okay, there were the obvious future episode cliffhangers and all. What has me scratching my head is why did Ben and Locke got "left behind" and where are Rose, Bernard and the other survivors who were suppose to be time jumping in the island?
Damn you Lost!
Score = 2
I don't care these things, however, i like girls.
months ago a friend told me a online dating site *******sugarbabymeet.c o m where people are wealthy and they're looking for companionship romance or love. ....maybe we can keep in touch and make friends on this site
Score = -5
"Last night's episode of Lost was the weakest of the season."
Its official. I am proclaiming Gabe an idiot.
Score = 2
If you are claiming ANYTHING ANYWHERE is weaker than the "let's forget about Aaron/hi, I'm bringing this friend of mine's corpse on your plane/oh yeah, I was in jail but now I'm not anymore/big pendulum" episode you are, in fact, an idiot.
This was one of the only decent episodes this whole season, specifically because they didn't do anything particularly stupid. And that statue has been hinted at for like, 40 episodes. Every now and again it's nice to see them pick up a plot thread they discarded instead of just pretending like things never happened.
Score = 2
gabe, the Coconut Times was bought out and shut down years ago, get with it!
Score = -1
he really looks poosey shaved
Score = 0