Last night's Park and Recreation really took it to the next level. Between last night's episode and Duke Silver, they have clearly been sitting on a powder keg with Nick Offerman, but instead of gunpowder, it's powdered gold. And laffs. Laff powder. Also, obligatory mention of Patton Oswalt's cameo on Community. But probably the biggest stand out moment from the night was the dick towel from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I'm not sure what it is, but somehow those guys have really managed to tap into the Power of the Internet. Ah-ah-ahhhhhhh. Is it because the people on the show are slightly younger? Is it because the show is on FX? Is it because of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's early word-of-mouth grassroots success? I don't know. I'm not Professor On-Line Integration over here. All I know is that the Dick Towel infomercial is after the jump, and it's mildly NSFW.
Thousands of young Americans enter film school every year with the hope of making the next Citizen Kane (but this time, "Rosebud" is a pair of rollerblades!). Most of them, of course, won't succeed as directors, and will eventually find themselves moving on to more reliable work in other fields, or toiling in the belly of the entertainment industry, or writing a pop culture blog. So it must be discouraging to these hopeful and ambitious young artists to realize that this little girl, with nothing more than a video camera, a couple of American Girl dolls, and a song about the best burrito she has ever had, just created something better than anything they will ever do in their entire frustrated and unsatisfying lives.
Where were you when Kennedy was shot? Oh that's right, you were 14,000 years from being born. But that is what this week's episode is all about, where people were when the 9/11 of the 60s happened. Kind of. It's also about a lot of other things, like how marriages are compromises to a point, and then sometimes the compromise is no longer worth it. And how the world as we know it hangs on the fragilest of strings, always, and the slightest wind can bring it crashing down. (Magic bullet wind, in this case. Also secret sex wind. And also shoebox full of mysterious photos wind. There are a lot of crazy winds at work here.) It was also about how there are Malcolm Gladewell's Tipping Points in life, past which there may very well be no return, and we have to sit in a dark room and drink our whiskey and consider our own role in what has happened to us, because we are not innocent, and some of us are less innocent than others. It was also about thwarted ambition. And the need to be part of something larger than yourself. The point is that this episode was about a lot of things, and it was great.
As you have probably noticed, it is Blog Law that every blog on the Internet give you their favorite scary movie to watch on Halloween. If you don't, you have to go to Blog Jail! And then another blog has to commit a blog crime and get blog sentenced in order to come blog find you and help blog you blog break blog out. Classic.
Now, let's be honest about a couple of things. 1) you are going to watch whatever movie you want to on Halloween, because you are an adult, or a child with very poor boundaries and a "No Parents" sign on their bedroom door. This is basically just Blog Filler, when blogs do this. And 2) I don't like scary movies, and any recommendation I make will be incredibly unauthoritative. On Monday I'll get all these disappointed emails, like, "We took your advice and watched Bridge to Terabithia, but it wasn't very scary." And I will be like "OMG, what are you talking about, I had to put that movie in the freezer, Joey Tribbiani-style."
But Blog Law is Blog Law, and so I am going to recommend that you watch the same movie that I recommended you watch last year, because it is hilarious, and because I am lazy. The movie is called The Gingerdead Man, and it stars the voice acting of Gary Busey as a possessed blood-thirsty gingerbread cookie wreaking havoc on a shitty bakery full of retarded teenagers.
Who is in charge of the math over in the TV Scheduling Department? Because this is getting ridiculous. Why is most of the week an empty wasteland with almost no laffs at all, and then Thursday night it's a chore to get through all the great shows? Hasn't TV ever heard of pacing itself? C'mon TV! And as if TV hadn't already overloaded Thursday nights with 18 hours of good shows, now FX is adding The League? Enough! Uncle, or whatever! Why do you hate all the other days of the week so much?
Speaking of The League, it's pretty good! Obviously, we all have good will towards this show (right? SAY YOU HAVE GOOD WILL TOWARDS THIS SHOW) because it has Nick Kroll and Paul Scheer in it, and we like them (SAY THAT YOU LIKE THEM), even if some of us were a little worried because of how much we don't care about fantasy football at all, since some of us do not even care about reality football. And there are definitely a lot of fantasy football jokes in this show about which I lack the ability to even form an opinion, but there are lots of other jokes, too, and those jokes were funny. So, you know, that is good.
And then, of course, there is the whole Jeff Dunham was on 30 Rock thing.
You could spend your whole life trying to find a better pumpkin head Halloween dance than this, and you'd die a fucking failure. (Thanks for the tip, Amil.)
Betty and the kids are leaving for Philly. Uh oh, they are going to miss Halloween! (P.S. I love that this show's holiday-themed episode is a Very Special Halloween episode.) Oh wait, they are not going to miss Halloween because there is still Halloween in Philly. Bobby is going to be an astronaut. (No he isn't.) Just you wait. This whole thing is about to get flipped on its head. So, the family makes plans to leave. Betty wants some money and Don is like "go to the bank and get money, there is absolutely no money in this house. Not in any of the drawers, I promise you." Betty is like "squint." Meanwhile, Don makes plans to get away for the week with his lover. I guess she can take vacation because it's the early '60s and schools used to let out for an entire week for the cherished Halloween holiday. It was a time to be with family. Or fuck buddies.
The Terminator trudged along the wooded path towards the lake, his gun dangling by his side, the taunts still ringing in his hypersensitive bionic ears. He stared at the ground as he walked, and didn't even bother scanning anything with...
After watching Death Sentence, a terrible movie starring Kevin Bacon as a father in search of vigilante justice directed by Saw's James Wan, Gabe embarked on The Hunt For The Worst Movie of All Time. This is his sad journey.
Do you ever eat foods that you know you don't like, just to remind yourself why you don't like them? I think that's a good thing to do sometimes! The worst case scenario is that you might momentarily have a...
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Blogging about TV and movies isn't all fun and videogames. Every week, Lindsay or Gabe will be presented with a physical or mental challenge that tests their bravery,patience, and taste.
The Challenge: I had to go on a 3.5 hour bus tour of totally random TV and film locations in New York City. Alone, and wearing a specific ridiculous tshirt. And I had to find someone to take my picture...
I went to see Where the Wild Things Are on Saturday, but it was sold out. Ay-ay-ay. That was a surprise! I mean, anticipation for this movie seemed pretty high, but anticipation for lots of movies seems high, especially when...
