Mad Men: What We Talk About When We Talk About Pampers
[Alex Blagg, formerly of Best Week Ever blog and Blagg Blogg Dot Com will be bringing his wit, wisdom, and love of skinny ties to this season of Mad Men.]
You know what they say: Behind every Mad Man is an angry woman who probably also just got sexually harassed.
The Sterling Cooper crew is just hanging around a smoky room, watching some musicals, when Peggy is plunged into some kind of Ann Margaret-induced existential meltdown about not being a pretty girl in a man's world or something like that (recapping subtle multi-layered character nuances is HARD, y'all!) because their client, Patio cola, would like their new ad spot to mimic the chesty, off-key fun found in a few bars from the opening "Bye Bye Birdie" as opposed to something that respects women's intelligence (like sipping organic kambucha tea while reading "The Feminine Mystique"). The men all sexually harass her about this.
Patio is apparently some kind of terribly-named precursor to Diet Pepsi, which - with the exception of the inspired "Crystal Pepsi" experiment - has pretty much always had boring and terrible advertising, so I don't know why everyone couldn't be like "Let's have Don explain to them why 'Enjoy a cold Patio on the patio' is fraught with genius meaning and just call it a day." The client is probably happy, Peggy doesn't have to worry about whether she's pretty, and we can all get back to Don Draper choking women while he has sex with them in the back of large automobiles without all the unpleasant lessons in 1960's gender politics.
Speaking of which, did you guys catch the line when The Rodge looked at a preggers Betty Draper then asks if Princess Grace swallowed a basketball? Man, The Rodge sure puts the "ha" in "sexual harassment"! I just don't know why the editors chose to cut the shot right after this comment when he double-high-fives Draper then swings his arms down for two hands full of secretary bottom while going "wakka wakka wakka!" Timing, I guess.
Meanwhile, Pete nearly loses a new client who wants to demolish the old Penn Station and replace it with Madison Square Garden because Kinsey can't stop yammering on about architecture and raping 34th street long enough to envision the futuristic potential of a giant shopping mall where Three Doors Down could play alongside Patrick Ewing. Luckily, Don Draper and The Rodge are able to swoop in and save the day by taking the client out to dinner and getting him to change his mind by sexually harassing him with martinis and iceberg wedge salads with blue cheese and bacon. Ultimately it doesn't matter because the Brits who now own Sterling Cooper don't want the new business after all, but still, those were probably delicious iceberg wedge salads.
Later, Don sexually harasses Betty's brother into letting their sick father live with the Drapers from now on. Don soon realizes what a terrible idea this was when he discovers the old man pouring out all of his booze while having some kind of paranoid hallucination about bootlegging. Also, Don doesn't care about the antique globe in his office.
Peggy's crisis seems to be getting worse as we see her pause from brushing her hair before bed to do an impromptu impression of Buffalo Bill's penis-tuck tango almost 30 years before "Silence of the Lambs" was even filmed. "Creepy dances performed alone" seems to be an important recurring theme this season. Symbolism is important.
Don finally tells Peggy to man up about the Patio cola ad and stop acting like a whiny artist girl with a scraped elbow who is having her period. She seems to know him well enough to understand that failing to do so will likely lead to some deeply uncomfortable sexual harassment. She deals with the sting of this realization by going to a nearby Brooklyn bar and having some Stingers with a college guy she will later let have anal sex with her on his futon (right now there are untold numbers of modern day ad dudes trying to order Stingers in downtown Manhattan bars).
Finally Don watches his kids dance around a Maypole while ogling their teacher and sexually harassing the grass with his fingers.
Back at work, Peggy wants to talk about Pampers.
Posted by Alex Blagg at 1:30 PM in Love-Watching
Tags: Christina Hendricks | Don Draper | Elisabeth Moss | January Jones | John Slattery | Jon Hamm | Mad Men | Matthew Weiner
I don't know why Floor Diet Drink didn't take off..with that woman screaming at me and all. Yikes.
Score = 1
I came late to the Mad Men party and I kind of wish I hadn't. I came home pretty drunk on Saturday night, put my 3-piece suit (I own one as I am a 1930's English Gentleman, leave me alone), did my hair like Don Draper and passed out. I woke up rather confused. It was much better than tucking my genitals between my legs and taking my clothes off. Basically what I'm trying to say is, THANK YOU MAD MEN! I lead a pointless life.
Score = 3
No, really. Why can't this be Lindsay?
Score = 1
And why haven't I been able to sign in for over a week?
Score = -2
Perhaps because you were rude to the guest writer? Embrace the Blagg, embrace him with our love!
Score = 9
You know, I don't really downvote much, and I definitely am not into internet fights, but seriously, just fucking stop it. It's not Lindsay for reasons you don't know and nobody is going to explain to you. These are good write ups.
Score = 3
Stop trying to sexually harass Blagg into leaving. Who do you think you are, Roger Sterling?
Score = 14
I didn't think the men of Sterling Cooper had anything left to sexually harass and then Donny Boy proves me wrong again and takes a whack at the grass. I think the grass kind of liked it though.
Score = 7
I thought Peggy went the BJ route. But then again, she is Catholic
Score = 20
No you're right, because she still had her skirt on.
I feel weird confirming this.
Score = 10
Guys, it's been awhile since I read the swinging singles phrase book, but I'm pretty sure "other things" is code for anal.
Score = 0
The skirt has to be off for anal? I've been doing it wrong.
Score = 11
Your a girl that has anal? Girls actually have that in the real world?
Score = -4
Of course not, idiot. Women don't have anuses Only men poop.
Score = 9
truth.
but really I didn't get this at all the first time around. because I thought she was done with the holy ghost after preacher mchanks told her she was set for hellfire.
Score = 0
... I also assumed it was a blowey
Score = 3
I don't really understand the removal of the shirt for a BJ....couldve been a titty f**k. Highly doubt it was anal. The sixties weren't swinging yet.
Score = 0
Thanks for reminding me why I didn’t miss Alex when he left Best Week Ever. That said, I did enjoy his recap.
Score = -10
I was really hoping Don would punch either that brother or British guy in the face. It's coming this season. Trust me. I read teh spoilers on twitter. Also, did you know Don is a communist alien from Jupiter? I don't know how they're going to pull that off.
Score = 1
I read that and kept wondering, "Brother? What black guy was Don going to punch?"
Score = 12
The last scene with the teacher and the gazing, I don't know..things we're getting very "And on that bed there was a girl, and on that girl there was a man". I think it was supposed to be sexy, but it sort of creeped me out.
Score = 6
How does the saying go again? If there's no grass to finger-fondle at your daughter's dance recital, then play in the mud (with Peggy)?
Score = 3
The Peggy singing moment was very uncomfortable but did anyone else feel like someone picked up a "Symbolism 101" handbook while writing/directing this episode? It seemed pretty heavy-handed with the subtext.
Score = 1
Exactly! Episode 2 felt like a bunch of half-finished thoughts. It was like the writers said, "We really want to use Bye Bye, Birdie, Diet Pepsi, an aging father/aging New York dichotomy, and cool green grass as powerful symbolic elements, but we're not totally clear on what all those things symbolize. Fuck it, let's just shoot what we got and let the audience figure it out."
Don't get me wrong; I appreciate content that doesn't give me all the answers on a silver platter, and Mad Men is usually pretty thought-provoking. So far, this season just feels disjointed and semi-coherent.
Score = 2
I really haven't liked either of the season 3 episodes. I'm getting a little worried. if mad men stops being the light of my television, what remains? soaps? springer? the local station with information about the next town hall meeting? I don't know anymore.
Score = 1
I'm disgusted and ashamed that I'm actually commenting on this, but I thought Peggy was initiating mouth-love, not hiney-love. I mean, c'mon, she's a slut, OBVS, but not THAT kind of slut! LOLZ! (/shame)
Score = 15
Precisely. Alex, I love that anal sex is your default!
Score = 7
Here's WHAT'S GOING to happen WITH THESE write ups. Instead OF TALKING about how FUCKIN GREAT this show is. Most OF THE TIME WE will spend it TEARING THIS shit apart piece BY PIECE UNTIL we've convinced OURSELVES THAT Season 3 ISN'T AS GOOD. Which is JUST NOT GODDAMNED going to happen. IT MAY stumble. But SHIT. Watch TRUE BLOOD right before IT, and THEN OU realize THAT THIS pretty MUCH UNBEATABLE television.
Score = 8
Don't you have a book to be writing or something?
Score = 1
I'm WORKING on it Technojeremy. Turns out GETTING HIT by a fuckin asshole IN A car can take SOME TIME away from your WORK.
Score = 5
wow, does Gabe hate you that much?
Score = 0
I can't decide if this episode was better than I thought it was, or worse than I hope it actually was. I didn't love it. Also all of those weird cuts to commercials. What? Also :( I sorta want Gabe back doing these. Or Lindsay (RIP Lindsay). No offense new guy, maybe we just need time to get to know you. Buck up yougnblood.
Score = 2
Peggy seems like the type who wouldn't want her skirt wrinkled!
Score = 3
I hit reply damnit. Why didn't that reply properly! Don't start with me Lawnmower Man.
Score = 1
Um, who schedules their wedding to coincide with a president's murder? Ah, those crazy Sterlings.
Score = 6
mama say whuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttt
Score = -1
I was live-tweeting my reactions to this episode, and when I twote (TWOTE?) my shock at Roger's daughter's wedding date - November 23, 1963, the day after the JFK assassination - I got ANGRY tweets back about spoiler alerts.
I need to block some people, clearly... because history.
Score = 14
Other stuff: Peggy singing reminded me of her playing Torch in Girl, Interrupted. Poor Peggy. (What? What? In the butt!)
Betty's still smoking while pregnant. Her kid's going to have a pinhead (no Bill O'Reilly).
Kinsey's a full on Pinko this season, he's going to get into shrooms and move to Haight-Ashbury.
And finally, what were those guy's friends (in the bar) trying to say when they asked him if he had money for a cab and then he said he lived a block away? That Peggy was ugly? Or were they trying to make sure she knew he lived close?
Score = 0
Yeah, I was confused by that, too. I was thinking that he lives with his mom, but then I figured that he had some sort of "The Apartment" type arrangement with a friend. I guess the friend's question was just code for, "Are you going home with this gal? Or do you need an out?"
And Don Draper WAS molesting the grass at the phallic Maypole ceremony, and it was terrifying.
Score = 1
Becca, please share how you get your paragraphs so nicely double-spaced. My HTML skillz are making me look like a total neden-hole.
Score = 1
Put the letters BR in brackets, and go to the next line. That should add a space. Hope that helps.
=)
Score = 1
Testing 1,2,3,4
Thanks, Becca! I'm not sure why your response garnered a down-vote, I would upvote you x1 million if I could.
Score = 0
I don't mean to be a "hater" or "troll" or any of those words the kids are using these days, and Alex is certainly a funny writer, BUT: I really like Mad Men. When I read about Mad Men, I'd like to read about the symbolism, the subtle shifts in power, the character development, etc. And while Alex's recaps are funny, they are funny in the way Gabe's Real Housewives recaps are funny. And Mad Men isn't a ridiculous reality show, you know? It's a good show. I don't really need for things to be made silly about it. I need things to be thoughtfully discussed. Anyone know what I'm saying?
Score = 10
I know what you're saying, and I'm pretty sure you're not alone (someone asked why couldn't Lindsay recap). I'm trying to go with the flow because I'm an easy going person...but seriously do you like this show Alex? Talk like you like the show!
Score = 3
Yeah, Videogum's mostly for laffs. For thoughtful discussion, check out The House Next Door or Alan Sepinwall's write-ups. There's plenty of time in the day to read all them.
Score = 2
Man, you guys are tough crowd to please! wasn't everyone last week wanting Alex to be funnier? besides, I think I saw an Alex original inside joke in this thread, congrats! Anyways just wanted to add a word of defense for Alex, thought it was a great write-up.
Is there something on my nose?
Score = 0
This article isn't any good. Why don't you let Gabe take it from here and dispense with all the "kill your idols" bullshit.
Score = -2
Mad Men is my favorite show at the moment and I laughed out loud at this! Ha! Lighten up Mad Men fans....a show this good can take some ribbing..;)
Score = 3
Sorry I think Alex is usually funny too, but the only insightful/ thought-provoking thing about this recap was whether or not Peggy had anal intercourse or just hj/ bj.
Score = 3
Anyone know when this episode will be available on Hulu? I've been in the high country of the Colorado Rockies (I can totally taste you guys's jealousy) and I've just returned to NY and realized that my DVR didn't record. I just hope that it will be up before episode 3.
Vodka Stingers are delicious, btw.
Score = 0
I had the same problem only mine being that I don't have TV (mad men makes me want to get cable) besides Internet TV. So I just Googled the episode and after a few clicks around found it on some site like TVShack or something.
Score = 2
Equally as lacklusterly half-hearted as the last one. Not worth even putting on here, IMHO. Let him write it for BWE, and just put a link to it. He's draggin' you down (however awesome and funny as he is in person. Which presumably is a lot.), ruinizing your rep.
Score = -4