Who Would Beat Up The Chik-Fil-A Cow?
A Chik-Fil-A employee in Fredericksburg, MD was assaulted recently ("Bovine Beatdown") while waving to cars in front of the restaurant in his cow mascot costume. Known creatively around town as "The Cow," the employee refused to show his face on camera for this local news story, though he was apparently more than willing to vamp it up as The Cow (bad idea hugging the little girl, though):
The Cow didn't get a good look at his attacker (duh), and the police have no suspects or leads, which is strange, because all of us watching this know that it had to be TEENAGERS and that they should keep an eye out for clues on YOUTUBE.
Posted by Lindsay at 11:45 AM in Animals On Film, Local News
Tags: Cows
I love Chick-fil-a like Padma loves Hardees.
Score = 2
That f***r is still out harassing innocent motorists and children in parking lots?! I thought the beating would teach him a lesson, but i guess he needs a little "remedial learning."
Score = 3
One of the reasons this is genius is because on the Chick-Fil-A billboards the cow can't spell at all.
Score = 0
Wow, the editing choices. The turning cube/folding page wipes? And the retrospective-slow-motion at 1:37? Gives us time to reminisce on the last minute and a half we've spent with them.
There also seems to be some confusion about whether this took place in Virginia or Maryland.
Score = 3
Why does Chik-fil-a have a cow mascot?
Score = -2
The cow is always trying to get you to eat chicken instead of beef. (Or "chikin." Because cows are semi-literate.)
Score = 4
No motive? Some half high teenagers saw a guy making minimum wage dressed as a cow and tackled him. Case closed.
Score = 1
Just a couple of things on this video.
1) Susan Fern had her sentence cut off. She said "People are not grown up. They need to have respect..." She would have finished by saying "They need to have respect for their udders." Get it? Like respect for your elders but instead udders...because of cow...
2) Police Detective wig killer couldn't even keep a straight face in the beginning.
3) The manager talking about the employee inside the cow suit being loved by all. Guess what? It could be ANYONE inside a COW SUIT.
That is all.
Score = 3
It was a viral ad for my new band, the Bovine Beatdowns. That news reporter totally played into our hands!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!
Score = -1
That slow motion clip of the cow mascot waving is begging for a gif.
Score = 0
I had no idea there were stand-alone Chick-Fil-A's. I thought they were only allowed to exist in the food courts of malls. My mind is blown.
Score = 0
Actually, Lindsay, Fredericksburg is in Virginia [there is a Frederick, MD though!]. I have actually been to this Chick-Fil-A - I sometimes miss its delicious waffle fries that are unattainable here in NYC!
Score = 0
When I was young, I went to Disney World and I thought it was the funniest thing to pull on the mascots' tails and fuck around with them.
It was funny because I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD.
Score = 1
a cautionary tale indeed...
or is it "cautionary tail"?
Score = 1
that is clearly fredericksburg, virginia. attacks on mascots happen there all the time.
Score = 0