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August 28, 2009

Mike Tyson Is Going To Eat Conan O'Brien's Asshole Alive

thumbnail icon: Mike Tyson Is Going To Eat Conan O'Brien's Asshole Alive

Mike Tyson was on the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien last night. They talked about his role in The Hangover (thus completing Conan's apparent quest to interview every single person involved with The Hangover) and about the James Toback documentary about him, Tyson. It's a genial and interesting interview. Mike Tyson is such a weirdo.

But here's the thing: it is hard to watch this interview without wondering if and when Mike Tyson is going to tell Conan O'Brien, "I'm going to fuck you until you love me, faggot." You basically know he's not going to do that. Probably. At the very least, it seems highly unlikely that he will say that in a late night interview. But maybe? Let's just watch it again to make sure he doesn't say that.

Part one:

Part two:

Hmm. He didn't seem to say it. But it's the tension that he might say it at any moment that makes it all so exciting (all=life). Also, what a strangely paced interview! Kind of intense!

Posted by Gabe at 10:15 AM in
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37 Comments

One of the best Videogum headlines I've ever seen.

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link at 08/28/09 10:17 AM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I wouldn't want to meet Mike Tyson. Even in public. So unpredictable. Physically and otherwise. Things could easily go wrong. What if I happened to be wearing the color red, or I moved too quickly.
Too many variables.

Also: "My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm." - something Mike Tyson said once. He should write for GOOP.

Posted by: Becca profile link at 08/28/09 10:25 AM  | Reply
Score = 17 Vote up Vote down

This is a true story: my sister was once ushered out of a store by a posse of huge men, because apparently Mike Tyson wanted to go inside and shop. The store? KB Toys, in the mall. That's some creepy shit.

Posted by: oh. profile link  in reply to  Becca's comment at 08/28/09 10:48 AM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

WOW I STUCK AROUND TO SEE THIS SITE BECAUSE ANYTHING THAT HATES ON JON IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME BUT I DONT KNOW FAGGOT REALLY YOURE GOING TO USE WORDS LIKE THAT THEN THAT MAKES YOU ALMOST AS HORRIBLE AS JON BUT HES STILL MORE OF A BASTARD BECAUSE HE WOULD SAY THAT AND ABANDON 8 KIDS AND I DONT SEE HOW ANYONE COULD DO THAT UGH IM SORRY I JUST HATE HIM SO MUCH I USED TO BE SUCH A FAN OF THAT SHOW BACK WHEN IT WAS GOOD BUT HES RUINED IT AND RUINED THE POOR KIDS AND KATES LIVES HE IS A DICKWAD!

Posted by: TEAMKATE at 08/28/09 10:26 AM  | Reply
Score = -20 Vote up Vote down

I love these posts. I just hope they're the product of a genuine angry Kate Gosselin fan whose rage is so palpable that she hits "submit" four times, because her anger (partially fueled by her inability to locate the Caps Lock key again but mostly fueled by her vitriol towards Gabe's use of dirty words and Jon's insensitivity to the children) courses through every part of her body, down to her submittin' finger. Party on, TEAMKATE.

Posted by: dafs profile link  in reply to  TEAMKATE's comment at 08/28/09 10:34 AM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

Relax TEAMKATE, it's a quote.

Posted by: Lew Zealand profile link  in reply to  TEAMKATE's comment at 08/28/09 11:03 AM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

OH RIGHT SO ITS OKAY FOR ME TO SAY SOMETHING IF SOMEONE ELSE SAID IT IF HITLER HAD SAID LETS KILL ALL THE JEWS I COULD SAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND LINK TO IT BUT ITD BE OKAY BECAUSE IT WAS A QUOTE IT DOESNT MATTER HOW IT IS SAID HATE SPEECH STILL MAKES PEOPLE THING BAD THINGS IM SURE GABE DIDNT MEAN TO DO IT BUT IT HAS BAD CONNOTATIONS THAT COULD HURT PEOPLS FEELINGS.

Posted by: TEAMKATE  in reply to  Lew Zealand's comment at 08/28/09 11:23 AM  | Reply
Score = -15 Vote up Vote down

The Videogum plot is unfolding more and more like The Beach.
If it offends you, Teamkate, I'm sure there are plenty of other sites that hate Jon and do not use the word Faggot, even as a direct quote from a maniac. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get to steppin'.

Posted by: Deezey profile link  in reply to  TEAMKATE's comment at 08/28/09 11:27 AM  | Reply
Score = 13 Vote up Vote down

Haha. We're ALREADY at Hitler by comment 2.

Posted by: lemonne profile link  in reply to  TEAMKATE's comment at 08/28/09 12:53 PM  | Reply
Score = 18 Vote up Vote down

^ hahahaha! Godwin's Law in full effect. Maybe TEAMKATE is the chick from the town hall meeting with Barney Frank. Videogum is becoming an interwebs wormhole.

Posted by: Blondie  in reply to  lemonne's comment at 08/28/09 2:43 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Hang on, how does Godwin's Law still operate if the argument is actually about Hitler? I'd like to think yes, or anyway that those having the argument thought it did. That would make for a funny argument. I'd like that. By the way I love this site so much, and would have signed up sooner if I'd think of a username.

Posted by: Jonabler profile link  in reply to  Blondie's comment at 08/29/09 9:34 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I'm downvoting you here because you failed to tie Jon Gosselin into this comment.

Posted by: moonmaster profile link  in reply to  TEAMKATE's comment at 08/28/09 4:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I DONT HAVE TO MENTION JON IN EVERYTHING I DONT EVEN THINK HE DESERVED TO BE MENTIONED IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE IS AWFUL HE IS SUCH A BASTARD IT MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE AND I WOULD TOO REALLY HARD BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT IT IS LIKE HE ENJOYS HURTING THOSE CHILDREN AND HIS NOW EXWIFE ALL THE TIME AND I DID MENTION JON HE IS BASICALLY HITLER DONT BELIEVE ME JUST LOOK CLOSELY HITLER WAS LIKED TOO JUST LIKE YOU GUYS THINK HES IN THE RIGHT AND HE DID BAD THINGS JUST LIKE JON HAS DONE BAD THINGS LIKE CHEAT AND HURT HIS FAMILY AND WANT TO QUIT THE SHOW WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT JON IS JUST LIKE HITLER THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME BOTH ASSHOLES WHO HURT PEOPLE THEYS HOULD BE LOVING ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THAT I BROUGHT UP JON GODDAMNIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM BACK ON THIS SITE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SEXIST AND ON TEAMJON ARENT YOU?

Posted by: TEAMKATE  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 08/29/09 11:29 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I DONT HAVE TO MENTION JON IN EVERYTHING I DONT EVEN THINK HE DESERVED TO BE MENTIONED IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE IS AWFUL HE IS SUCH A BASTARD IT MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE AND I WOULD TOO REALLY HARD BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT IT IS LIKE HE ENJOYS HURTING THOSE CHILDREN AND HIS NOW EXWIFE ALL THE TIME AND I DID MENTION JON HE IS BASICALLY HITLER DONT BELIEVE ME JUST LOOK CLOSELY HITLER WAS LIKED TOO JUST LIKE YOU GUYS THINK HES IN THE RIGHT AND HE DID BAD THINGS JUST LIKE JON HAS DONE BAD THINGS LIKE CHEAT AND HURT HIS FAMILY AND WANT TO QUIT THE SHOW WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT JON IS JUST LIKE HITLER THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME BOTH ASSHOLES WHO HURT PEOPLE THEYS HOULD BE LOVING ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THAT I BROUGHT UP JON GODDAMNIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM BACK ON THIS SITE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SEXIST AND ON TEAMJON ARENT YOU?

Posted by: TEAMKATE  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 08/29/09 11:31 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I DONT HAVE TO MENTION JON IN EVERYTHING I DONT EVEN THINK HE DESERVED TO BE MENTIONED IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE IS AWFUL HE IS SUCH A BASTARD IT MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE AND I WOULD TOO REALLY HARD BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT IT IS LIKE HE ENJOYS HURTING THOSE CHILDREN AND HIS NOW EXWIFE ALL THE TIME AND I DID MENTION JON HE IS BASICALLY HITLER DONT BELIEVE ME JUST LOOK CLOSELY HITLER WAS LIKED TOO JUST LIKE YOU GUYS THINK HES IN THE RIGHT AND HE DID BAD THINGS JUST LIKE JON HAS DONE BAD THINGS LIKE CHEAT AND HURT HIS FAMILY AND WANT TO QUIT THE SHOW WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT JON IS JUST LIKE HITLER THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME BOTH ASSHOLES WHO HURT PEOPLE THEYS HOULD BE LOVING ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THAT I BROUGHT UP JON GODDAMNIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM BACK ON THIS SITE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SEXIST AND ON TEAMJON ARENT YOU?

Posted by: TEAMKATE  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 08/29/09 11:31 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I DONT HAVE TO MENTION JON IN EVERYTHING I DONT EVEN THINK HE DESERVED TO BE MENTIONED IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE IS AWFUL HE IS SUCH A BASTARD IT MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE AND I WOULD TOO REALLY HARD BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT IT IS LIKE HE ENJOYS HURTING THOSE CHILDREN AND HIS NOW EXWIFE ALL THE TIME AND I DID MENTION JON HE IS BASICALLY HITLER DONT BELIEVE ME JUST LOOK CLOSELY HITLER WAS LIKED TOO JUST LIKE YOU GUYS THINK HES IN THE RIGHT AND HE DID BAD THINGS JUST LIKE JON HAS DONE BAD THINGS LIKE CHEAT AND HURT HIS FAMILY AND WANT TO QUIT THE SHOW WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT JON IS JUST LIKE HITLER THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME BOTH ASSHOLES WHO HURT PEOPLE THEYS HOULD BE LOVING ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THAT I BROUGHT UP JON GODDAMNIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM BACK ON THIS SITE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SEXIST AND ON TEAMJON ARENT YOU?

Posted by: TEAMKATE  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 08/29/09 11:31 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I DONT HAVE TO MENTION JON IN EVERYTHING I DONT EVEN THINK HE DESERVED TO BE MENTIONED IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE IS AWFUL HE IS SUCH A BASTARD IT MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE AND I WOULD TOO REALLY HARD BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT IT IS LIKE HE ENJOYS HURTING THOSE CHILDREN AND HIS NOW EXWIFE ALL THE TIME AND I DID MENTION JON HE IS BASICALLY HITLER DONT BELIEVE ME JUST LOOK CLOSELY HITLER WAS LIKED TOO JUST LIKE YOU GUYS THINK HES IN THE RIGHT AND HE DID BAD THINGS JUST LIKE JON HAS DONE BAD THINGS LIKE CHEAT AND HURT HIS FAMILY AND WANT TO QUIT THE SHOW WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT JON IS JUST LIKE HITLER THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME BOTH ASSHOLES WHO HURT PEOPLE THEYS HOULD BE LOVING ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THAT I BROUGHT UP JON GODDAMNIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM BACK ON THIS SITE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SEXIST AND ON TEAMJON ARENT YOU?

Posted by: TEAMKATE  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 08/29/09 11:31 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I DONT HAVE TO MENTION JON IN EVERYTHING I DONT EVEN THINK HE DESERVED TO BE MENTIONED IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE IS AWFUL HE IS SUCH A BASTARD IT MAKES ME WANT TO SLAP HIM ACROSS THE FACE AND I WOULD TOO REALLY HARD BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT IT IS LIKE HE ENJOYS HURTING THOSE CHILDREN AND HIS NOW EXWIFE ALL THE TIME AND I DID MENTION JON HE IS BASICALLY HITLER DONT BELIEVE ME JUST LOOK CLOSELY HITLER WAS LIKED TOO JUST LIKE YOU GUYS THINK HES IN THE RIGHT AND HE DID BAD THINGS JUST LIKE JON HAS DONE BAD THINGS LIKE CHEAT AND HURT HIS FAMILY AND WANT TO QUIT THE SHOW WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT JON IS JUST LIKE HITLER THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME BOTH ASSHOLES WHO HURT PEOPLE THEYS HOULD BE LOVING ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THAT I BROUGHT UP JON GODDAMNIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM BACK ON THIS SITE YOU GUYS ARE ALL SEXIST AND ON TEAMJON ARENT YOU?

Posted by: TEAMKATE  in reply to  moonmaster's comment at 08/29/09 11:31 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Okay, internet lesson. See how the "faggot" part is in purple? That's a link. And if you follow the links you will see that Gabe is quoting Tyson - not calling Conan O'Brien a faggot. Other clues: the, you know, quotation marks and also all the words that are in the post.

Posted by: SM  in reply to  TEAMKATE's comment at 08/28/09 11:09 AM  | Reply
Score = 6 Vote up Vote down

WOW I STUCK AROUND TO SEE THIS SITE BECAUSE ANYTHING THAT HATES ON JON IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME BUT I DONT KNOW FAGGOT REALLY YOURE GOING TO USE WORDS LIKE THAT THEN THAT MAKES YOU ALMOST AS HORRIBLE AS JON BUT HES STILL MORE OF A BASTARD BECAUSE HE WOULD SAY THAT AND ABANDON 8 KIDS AND I DONT SEE HOW ANYONE COULD DO THAT UGH IM SORRY I JUST HATE HIM SO MUCH I USED TO BE SUCH A FAN OF THAT SHOW BACK WHEN IT WAS GOOD BUT HES RUINED IT AND RUINED THE POOR KIDS AND KATES LIVES HE IS A DICKWAD!

Posted by: TEAMKATE at 08/28/09 10:27 AM  | Reply
Score = -9 Vote up Vote down

anyone else starting to feel a little love for Jon?

Posted by: Tamagochi profile link  in reply to  TEAMKATE's comment at 08/28/09 10:34 AM  | Reply
Score = 11 Vote up Vote down

Oh look, more evidence as to why there needs to be a ? option.

Posted by: Calliwell profile link  in reply to  TEAMKATE's comment at 08/28/09 10:42 AM  | Reply
Score = 8 Vote up Vote down

What's with the dancing celebrities? First Shaq, now Tyson, Conan is now about three cha-cha's away from Ellen.

Posted by: Teh Cazbar profile link at 08/28/09 10:34 AM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

interacting with Tyson is like petting a pit-bull.

Posted by: shayne profile link at 08/28/09 11:11 AM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

There is nothing mentioned about rimming. I'm disappointed.

Posted by: sarcasticmeow profile link at 08/28/09 11:22 AM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I'm sad that I actually know what rimming is.. :(

Posted by: Sarcastically Misunderstood profile link  in reply to  sarcasticmeow's comment at 08/28/09 12:57 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Don't knock it till you tried it, dogg.

Posted by: sarah palin profile link  in reply to  Sarcastically Misunderstood's comment at 08/28/09 2:43 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

no thank you.

Posted by: Sarcastically Misunderstood profile link  in reply to  sarah palin's comment at 08/28/09 4:54 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

I was actually looking for the 'Top Chef' tag.

Posted by: TheJesusCodpiece profile link at 08/28/09 11:53 AM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

I guess conan's given up on surrounding himself with people that don't try to stab him.

Posted by: kgh profile link at 08/28/09 12:00 PM  | Reply
Score = 3 Vote up Vote down

Who else thinks TeamKate is actually Wheezy?

Posted by: tibmalian profile link at 08/28/09 12:13 PM  | Reply
Score = 2 Vote up Vote down

I love our constant refusal to believe the world can hold more than one troll.

Posted by: Scrooge McDuck  in reply to  tibmalian's comment at 08/28/09 12:43 PM  | Reply
Score = 16 Vote up Vote down

You know, everyone gives Mike Tyson shit for saying "I'm gonna fuck you till you love me faggot" but for someone who has been in prison thats an actual valid threat. I mean just change the context and it goes from silly to very, very scary.

Posted by: Monkey at 08/28/09 1:27 PM  | Reply
Score = 5 Vote up Vote down

I wonder what other convicted rapists we can look forward to seeing on Conan's couch.

Posted by: Steve at 08/28/09 2:20 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

No, no no. This post is all wrong. Who cares about Tyson the raping, woman beating maniac (sorry TEAMKATE, and, really, you are?), when there were puppies dressed as kittens!? Puppies dressed as kittens, that is ridiculously silly and hilarious. Unicorn shot.

Posted by: Blondie at 08/28/09 2:38 PM  | Reply
Score = 1 Vote up Vote down

why don't the videos play for me? :(

Posted by: boton at 08/28/09 2:44 PM  | Reply
Score = 0 Vote up Vote down

Is Tyson aroused the whole time or is that a pants tent?

Posted by: Gwoemul profile link at 08/30/09 1:09 AM  | Reply
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