What Really Happened To Stephen Colbert's Face

So last night Stephen Colbert showed up with a messed-up face on The Colbert Report, where he was cagey about the provenance of his stitches and shiners in a way that made everyone a lot more curious about it. Stephen celebrated the one-year anniversary of WristStrong (how convenient!) and blamed his face-bustedness on a vow he made to never again break a fall with his hands:

I know some people at Comedy Central so I asked them what the gossip was around the office, and they all came back with similar versions of the same shocking story:

"Stephen tripped over some cocaine and landed in a sharp pile of whores."

Somewhere, Congressman Robert Wexler is rubbing his hands and smiling.

Posted by Lindsay at 1:51 PM in Late Night
Tags: Stephen Colbert | The Colbert Report

8 Comments

hahah. so funny, no really you guys are freakin dumb

Posted by: wilder at 06/24/08 5:43 PM | Reply
Score = 0

I heard he headbutted Will Smith for being a CO$fag.

Posted by: Woll Smoth at 06/24/08 6:04 PM | Reply
Score = -3

As an apology for this fake-out, the real rumor is "boating accident."

Posted by: Lindsay at 06/24/08 6:58 PM | Reply
Score = 2

Alright, I'll bite.

That was no boating accident.

Jesus, I feel dirty, like Kevin Smith.

Posted by: Jeff at 06/24/08 8:36 PM | Reply
Score = 1

Could Stephen Colbert be considered to be an "enemy" of Scientology? Well there's your answer.

Posted by: david miscaviage at 06/25/08 1:10 PM | Reply
Score = 0

It was a boating accident...member of the diatribe confirmed it.

Posted by: Manowar at 06/30/08 7:17 PM | Reply
Score = 1

BEARS! It was the BEARS!!! They need to remain on Notice!!!!! Damn you BEARS!!! Damn You!!!

Posted by: biff henderson at 07/09/08 2:02 AM | Reply
Score = 0

that was one pissed off boat...I guess all boats are on notice...Love Boat my ass..

Posted by: Kinda at 07/10/08 11:40 PM | Reply
Score = 0