The Perfect Crime Revisited
It is 2009, so it just makes sense that the FCC wants to re-open the 2004 Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake Superbowl halftime show obscenity case. IT JUST MAKES SENSE. Justice must be served. Some of the kids who were irremediably scarred from seeing a flash of Janet Jackson's disgusting HUMAN WOMAN BREAST haven't even graduated from college yet, so. From Broadcasting and Cable (via Defamer):
"The evidence in this case strongly suggests that CBS had access to video delay technology at the time of the 2004 Super Bowl," the commission said Tuesday in a brief to the Third Circuit Appeals Court in the Janet Jackson Super Bowl Reveal case. The FCC asked the court to remand the decision back to the FCC so it could investigate further its assertion that the violation was "willful."
And they would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those pesky gunshots to my face is this seriously still happening? Let's get it together, America. Women are allowed to vote now, and one day they might even get to have their own drivers' licenses and work as secretaries (in flying offices). But the FCC wants to reopen an investigation into whether or not a woman's breast was flashed on television for two seconds five years ago? Shut it down, Horatio Cane. Shut it all down.
Posted by Gabe at 5:45 PM in Justice
Tags: Breasts | Crime | FCC | Janet Jackson | Justin TImberlake | Super Bowl
Four years at Princeton, three government internships, two mid-level aministrative posts from 1999-2003, all that to wind up working on one nipple conspiracy.
Score = 14
you act like this "little nipple conspiracy" couldn't have killed you and everyone you love.
Score = 7
I had just gotten a Tivo for Christmas two months earlier. The SuperBowl party I had was one that will live in infamy. Let's reopen all of 2004 again, Horatio.
Score = 7
I thought WE ALREADY had a major NATIONAL ISSUE GOING on right now! AMERICA, WE CANNOT multi task THIS SHIT. WE will revisit this GODDAMNED NIGHTMARE (the POOR children!) when WE HAVE PUT to rest the NATIONAL CONCERN THAT is Kanye fucking WITH TAYLOR Swift. One after THE OTHER, IN due time, America, WE WILL SOLVE this pressing issues.
BUt let's NOT GET FUCKIN ahead of ourselves. Wait. I MEAN behind. I mean. WHAT?
Score = 13
Score = 17
I don't think I'm strong enough to see Janet Jackson's breasts again.
Score = 9
Oh wait, you don't want to see it again? Sorry. . .
Score = 17
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Score = 14
Score = 35
Why is it that HERE IT LOOKS like Janet is about TO KISS MAX. Speaking OF WHICH, where THE FUCK is Max the KING OF ALL Wild Things AT? Dude has BEEN E-MISSING!
Score = 2
He has! So has Jawbone and a few others. I'm assuming they've been lost to the vortex of school, but that is a bullshit excuse. I'm a grad student have at least 50 pages of reading to do a day, but what do I do instead of the schoolwork I am paying tens of thousands of dollars for? I Photoshop a little boy's head onto Janet Jackson's bare breast. I'm not saying I'm an American hero, but I'm not not saying it.
Score = 25
I REFUSE to put ANYTHING but into MY book.
Score = 2
actually, I remember Jawbone making a very :( comment not too long ago. wherever you are, I hope you're doing OK, lil' vacuum.
Score = 8
Yeah, but DUDE WAS ALSO talking about GOING TO NYC in November or SOME SHIT. It's not WEIRD AT all that I REMEMBER that.
Score = 7
I'll never forget the moment afterward where I asked my sister, "Did we just see Janet Jackson's boob?" and she said, "No."
Score = 12
"That throwing star (removes sunglasses) might be the murder weapon."
Score = 14
(shivers go down my spine as those Florida boats with huge fans on them inexplicably race across the screen.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Score = 4
I, for one, am appalled CBS may have had this super secret "tape delay" technology back in 04. I assumed the tiny versatile actors that are inside every TVs weren't able to that until 2008, at least.
Score = 9
Mike Teevee has been doing it since the 70's.
Score = 5
DIRTY, DIRTY TITTY. Clothe that! Put cloth on it!
Score = 1
I renew the call for a Right On Time tag.
Score = 2
It's really important that we keep abreast of developments in this case.
Score = 7
Not to get all "I went to nipple school" on you but generally a claim will take that long to get as far as the 3rd Circuit. If I remember correctly, under Fed. R. Civ. P. 448(a)(6) it's somehwere around four years per nipple.
Score = 10
+1 just because you found a way to write "nipple school" in a comment.
Score = 1
My college experience was essentially "Nipple School" anyway. I stuck around, and landed a position as Professor Nipples. It's been a while since I was granted tenure, but now I'm maneuvering to take over for the Dean of NU (Nipple University). Wish me luck, guys!
Score = 6
I believe they're completely justified.
Football's about grabbing ass, there's no place for titty.
However, I recorded this game in 2004 then watched it later, with full knowledge of the oncoming boob. Does that mean I should be prosecuted for having access to 'Video Delay Technology" too?
Oh what a prickly dilemma i find myself in once again!
Score = 2
I said it before and I'll say it again (at least Janet put a ring on it Beyonce!)
Score = 5
Now that Michael is dead the FCC thinks it a good time to look at his sisters nipple again? These guys are so offensive.
Score = 4