The Perfect Crime
Flawless. From FOX 35:
A 19-year-old Deltona man is arrested for assaulting his own mother, with a taco. Dena Moir tells Fox 35 News her son, Zachary Moir, got out of control Wednesday night when she was calling him down for dinner. When he refused to stop playing his X-box and come down for dinner, Dena Moir says she went upstairs and unplugged the game, that's when she says Zachary pushed her and called her a bad name. "I've been having trouble with him for awhile won't work, wont' go to school. He's being rude and disrespectful. Pushing things to the limit as far as the violence."A few minutes later Dena says she was in the kitchen cleaning and cooking tacos for dinner when Zachary showed up. That's when she says he slapped her arm and threw a taco in her face. "He went ahead and hit me with the taco and I got taco all over my shirt and kitchen. I've threatened to call police before. But anyway this time, I thought he went too far so I called police and he's in jail now."
Smooth criminal! The guy is like a teenage Marcus Schrenker. Here is footage of him pleading his case:
Yes, Zachary, Jesus loves Taco Bell.
Posted by Gabe at 1:30 PM in Justice
Tags: Crime | Tacos | Zachary Moir
There's a joke about a taco in the face for a taco in the face...but I can't seem to form it.
Score = 1
The horrible smirk on that kid's face deserves an authentic prison experience. Talk about worthless.
Score = 4
Thank you so much for that child's song. Now I can get even more puzzled looks than usual at Taco Bell when I sing my order to them and tag this song at the end.
Score = 2
Think warm thoughts and don't drop the soap cutie-pie. Like cake day at school everyone is going to get a piece.
Score = 0
I hope his first day in prison is Taco Tuesday.
Score = 7
"He went ahead and hit me with the taco and I got taco all over my shirt and kitchen. I've threatened to call police before. But anyway this time, I thought he went too far so I called police and he's in jail now."
I find it kind of weird that she said her son is in jail like it's no big deal. Granted, throwing taco in people's faces isn't cool, but it pretty much says enough that if you are willing to send your son to jail for throwing a taco, your parenting skills probably aren't that great to begin with. I mean, allowing her son to have a criminal record for throwing a taco, that's gotta classify as some pretty lousy parenting.
Score = 7
This guy is 19 and bickers with his mommy about skipping school and how much he can play with his toys. Hahahahaha. When I was his age I was an intern with Medecins sans Frontieres in Angola, and though unpaid I fully supported myself by day-trading via the Satellite Phone (granted, this was the late nineties, but you get my point).
Score = -8
uphill both ways?
Score = 4
I trust your reputation after 1 paragraph of self promoting
Score = 5
Maybe if the mom didn't get herself knocked up at 16, she'd actually have been able to properly raise her son.
Score = -2
Take it easy, TalbainJ.
Score = 4
whoopsy, in backup research, she was 54. whoops.
Score = 0
Who throws a taco? Honestly!
Score = 5
He went ahead? I love this mother's diction. I wish she was my mom so she could ruin my life by unplugging the XBox. MOM, I'D JUST BEATEN M. BISON!!! FUCK!!!
Score = 0
Why isn't that little girl the biggest thing on the internet today? Only 530 views? Really?
Score = 0
does this qualify as some Benjamin Buttons shit?
Score = 0
in the teenage world, throwing a taco is the greatest insult imaginable.
Score = 8
Maybe instead of tacos, they should have talked... oh.
Score = -1