Jessica Alba Lives Every Week Like It's Shark Week
According to TMZ, Jessica Alba is in some trouble because some photos have surfaced of her putting up shark posters? Around Oklahoma City? Late at night? To increase awareness about great white sharks? Because that's something that Oklahoma City knows a lot about? (That is not something Oklahoma City knows a lot about?)
The most ridiculous part is that one of the spots she's accused of tagging was a billboard for the United Way. A rep for the non-profit organization told us although the billboard was donated, they'll probably have to pay out of their own pocket to replace it. Either way, the U.W. said, "We remain focused on our work rather than this minor distraction."So far, cops say no one has filed charges against Alba.
Haha, that victory picture is my favorite. YOU DID IT, JESSICA ALBA! TMZ has already posted an UPDATE explaining that a police report has been filed and that Alba's representatives have already called the United Way offering to replace the billboard.
Many people might wonder why a movie star would deface public property with wordless posters of sharks as an effort to raise awareness in land-locked city. Luckily for those people we have an exclusive interview with Jessica Alba* after the jump:
Videogum: Thank you for being here today, Ms. Alba.
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: Why do you think that Oklahoma City is the front line in the war on great white shark ignorance?
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: Let's pretend that for some reason a city 500 miles from the Gulf of Mexico and more than a thousand miles from either ocean is the front line in the war on great white shark ignorance, do you think that maybe your posters would be way, WAY more useful if they had words on them explaining what is going on with great white sharks?
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: Do you even actually know what's going on with great white sharks?
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: Don't get me wrong. Those posters look totally sick and super cool. If I saw one of those posters defacing a hospital or whatever, I would be like, Oh man, Brian, look at that picture of a shark. Monsters of the deep! Do you know what I mean?
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: I've seen Planet Earth.
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: Do you have much experience in political activism?
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: Like, did you know that it's illegal to deface public property and that often times political activists will disguise their identity to avoid prosecution, and those are just regular activists, not activists who were also the star of the incredibly popular comedies The Love Guru, and Good Luck Chuck?
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: Do you ever get tired of people thinking you're just a ditz and not taking you seriously?
Jessica Alba:
Videogum: NO FURTHER QUESTIONS, YOUR HONOR.
*Thanks, Gabe Liedman.
Posted by Gabe at 5:00 PM in Justice
Tags: Idiocracy | Jessica Alba | Sharks
this post started mediocre and skyrocketed so god damn quickly, god damn
Score = 21
What is she wearing in those pictures? what is this 1995??
Score = -12
Why is a bikini top so 1995?
Score = 25
I would just like to say Kiss The Pan wins super-cool points forever for having a good Mr. Show reference and a Calvin & Hobbes icon, well-played sir,
In Jessica Alba's defense, if you're gonna drool, at least spend the money to drool bottled water. Tap water is icky and so is actual drool.
...I'm not gonna defend that shark thing though, shit is too ridiculous
Score = 9
I'm pretty sure Lou was referring to the outfit in the TMZ photos. That shit lame.
Score = 3
I'm so fing scared of sharks...Ahhh!!!
It even made me uncomfortable to type the word. :(
Not cool, Alba. Not cool.
Score = 0
'UPDATE' link is broken
Score = 0
I think it's awesome that someone is sharkbombing. She might be suffering new hitherto unknown symptoms of the herpes that Derek Jeter infected her (and so many other beauties) with. It's true! Look it up :(
Score = 2
I LOVED YOU IN LOVE GURU
Score = 8
I think she's still promoting Into the Blue
Score = 22
Wait, forget about the Great White Sharks for a moment, why is Jessica Alba unable to properly swallow water without drooling out of her mouth? Does she have rabies?
Score = 16
Police: Ms. Alba, do you think sharks have human week?
Jessica Alba: No, officer. Sharks. Don't. Give. A Fuck.
Score = 10
Proof that Jessica Alba jumps the shark every day of her life
Score = 11
who is gabe liedman, and why are you thanking him?
Score = 11
YEAH MAN, FUCK THE UNITED WAY!!!!!!!!
=(
Score = 8
Thank God Gabe lives every week like it's snark week.
Score = 20
I'm going to be devil's advocate here and say this is actually quite awesome. The whole campaign worked because dwindling great white population got full news coverage due to the complete randomness of this event. No stupid website or tagline needed. The fact that everyone is in an uproar over this is hilarious. Fake outrage over the fact that she tagged a poster over a United Way billboard. As if that it is some sort of disgraceful commentary on the United Way. United Way doesn't have to disband because one billboard got defaced, nor is management there being replaced by sharks. Relax. As for the costly repair of the billboard: I say keep the poster up there, maybe then someone will look up at the billboard instead of ignoring it like we do for all the other hundreds of giant eyesores that cover every inch of every American city. Can people just calm 8/10ths of a fuck down please?
Can we just say Banksy did it and then be cool with it?
Score = 7
Dolphins rule! Humans can suck it!
Score = 0
Wait, Jessica Alba? Sharkbombed? Oklahoma Fucking City? And Gabe really doesn't see the win?
Score = 2
oh my god, what if jessica alba *was* banksy???
Score = 5
Why is she cheering for sharks? Flipper is going to be pissed!
Score = 4
She met him on the set of Blue Crush.
Score = -1
this is what happens when you're chilling with the Flaming Lips too long
Score = 3
"Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see."
Score = 3
File under "Awareness Fail"
Score = 1
Most coherent Alba interview ever!
Score = 1
These are posted all around LA as well.
Score = 0
Is there anyone else we can talk?
Score = -1