What Are We Even Talking About Here, Chris Brown?
What was THAT?!
I'm sure Rihanna and all of America feels better now that Chris Brown spent an hour on national television insisting to an old man that he could not talk about (or even remember) what happened on the night that he destroyed his girlfriend's face in a parked car. It's called closure, and he's great at it. HUH? What I don't understand is if he didn't want to talk about it, or if he didn't remember it, then why did he GO ON THE SHOW? With his mom, and his lawyer, like a little bitch. I don't usually like it when people refer to other people as "little bitch," it seems like a junior high taunt with deep threads of homophobia and misogyny running through it. But it's the most appropriate in this case.
Little bitch!
Oh, sure, he claimed many times to be sorry for what he had done, WHATEVER THAT MAY HAVE BEEN. But did you notice how every attempt to take responsibility for things (indeterminate as those things may have been) (because he worked hard to keep them indeterminate) was followed up with a back-handed attempt to weasel out of it? When Larry King asked him how he felt about the leaked police photos of Rihanna's bruised and battered face, Chris Brown said, "I didn't know what to think at the time, I was like what?! Cuz at the time I just didn't know honestly what to think and I didn't know if the pictures were altered, I didn't know if they were real, I didn't know what, so I was just like man, I just felt so disappointed in myself." You felt disappointed in yourself so much that six months later you're still raising the spectre that the photos might not be real? Perfect. (His mom quickly echoed the statement that she didn't know if the photos were altered, because Chris Brown's mom is Professor Photos.) Or how about when Larry King raised Chris Brown's violent history and both Chris and his mother insisted he had never been charged? Because you have to be charged for violence to be real? But perhaps the strangest incidence of this was when Larry brought up the point that children raised in violent homes often become violent adults, and Chris Brown's mom said that she didn't believe that was always true. Uh, sure, it isn't always true. BUT IT IS TRUE IN THIS CASE!?
And then there is this fucking lawyer:
UGH! I am pretty sure that Chris Brown and Rihanna are both famous regardless of whether or not you've heard of them, GRANDPA! And that a case in which one of them beat the other one in the face repeatedly is going to get some attention. You creep. Mark Geragos, defense attorney to the stars, thinks that this case has gotten too much attention because one time cute distracting anecdote. What a sleazeball. I also love in this moment how he lawyerly steps around the issue. "When they said this happened, they told me Chris Brown and Rihanna..." Clever girl. I understand your code, sir. You mean when they told you that a young man had mercilessly beaten his girlfriend in and around the fucking face and threatened to kill her.
And don't we all already know all this? No one is confused about what happened that night. The only possible reason for having this interview in the first place would have been to clear the air (if that's even possible. I mean, clear the air for what?) but all this scumbag avoidance is so gross. Sitting around with his mom and his lawyer not saying shit. You know who else probably wished they had their mom and lawyer with them? Rihanna, when she was in that car, getting beaten up. And despite what Chris Brown says about being sorry and taking responsibility (for what, Chris? WHY WON'T YOU JUST SAY IT?!) the fact is he is not sorry, because if he had been sorry THIS wouldn't have been the first video of him to surface, almost four months after the incident and two months before any "apology."
Shame on Larry for laughing at Mark Geragos's miserable "joke." And shame on Mark Geragos for his whole thing. And shame on Chris Brown's outfit. And shame on CNN. Shame on everyone. Forever.
Posted by Gabe at 10:30 AM in Interviews
Tags: Apologies | Chris Brown | Larry King | Larry King Live | Mark Geragos | Rihanna
Another :( posting on Videogum. Can't we get another nice funny woman to join SNL so we can all be :) again?
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"I got up that morning and got a phone call and, uh, you know, Ted Bundy and all those girls and their carrying-ons..."
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Chris looks like he wants to beat his lawyer up too.
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"Has anyone seen my bow tie?"
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Whoooops! That's supposed to be Boo Boo in that pic but it picked that side of the frame? Huh. Sorry, I suck at the interweb today. Hmm. But, no one? John Kricfalusi's Boo Boo Runs Wild? No? Nobody? "Has anyone seen my bow tie?" ANYWAY, I think, like most of you that what I'm picking up on is that he...is going to wear a bow tie to this interview like that is somehow going to make him look, as most of you point out, like he is NOT a guy who would beat a woman, he's in the Nation of All Baby Blue Islam but, uh, thing is, he IS a guy that beats a woman, and bashes in car windows, while she's sitting in the car. We saw the photos, it is actually evidence. Of a crime. And Larry King? I've served my time in douchejail and I want freedom now.
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I believe you mean the Nation of Smurflam.
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sir.. i salute you
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you know who else should be shamed for this? larry king. way to give yet even more exposure to this complete waste of fucking space. way to prove once again that you can't even manage to conduct a compelling interview if your life depended on it. time to hang it up. all of you. especially you, chris "look at this bow tie, it makes me look completely innocuous and non-violent, right?" brown.
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I love how wore the bluest sweater possible, and topped it off with a blue bowtie.. His lawyer was like "Chris, my wife is into all this new age shit and she told me blue is most calming of the colors. We'll go on CNN, everyone will watch, and they will all be like 'Wow, I don't know what it is about that Chris Brown, but there is no way he can even hurt a fly. What a calm fellow' I'm telling you, we're golden".
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"and Chris, no matter what happens, just keeping pursing your mouth! Put all of your seething, violent anger into your lips. Audiences love that."
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"What a calm fellow." OF COURSE a lawyer would say "fellow". Well done. Well done.
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This whole story is so Chris Frown :(
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Yes, the outfit is ridiculous. There is a similar interview with him in People where he continues to come off like a little bitch.
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what did chris do with the groceries after he beat the crap out of rihanna?
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You know, if Larry King put on Chris's bow tie, he's look like an undead Orville Redenbacher.
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I live in L.A. and Power 106 is a big hip hop station. Anyway, they were having a "debate" about whether or not the fans should forgive Chris Brown. This lady calls the station proclaiming that we should forgive Chris and that he is her baby only to be RUDELY interrupted by a guy screaming in the background "WOMAN GET OFF DAMN PHONE BEFORE I......" then came the 5-second delay save.
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This whole thing is disgusting. Chris Brown is disgusting, Larry King is disgusting and Chris Brown's mother is disgusting too, for that matter. Gotta protect Chris Brown's image. Gots ta get paid. Keep the tweens buying his shit. Belated welcome to irrelevance, Larry King. Belated welcome to monsterville, Chris Brown.
Also, let's pretend those photos WERE doctored. Oops, you still ASSAULTED your girlfriend.
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"You gon' act like a bitch, you gon' look like a bitch (Chris Brown)!" - Frazzles the Squirrel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODz2rUXpKWw
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How was this quote not mentioned (on why he "lost his temper" with Rihanna):
"Nobody taught us a book on how to control our emotions or our anger."
So, that's a thing that he said.
http://www.nj.com/entertainment/celebrities/index.ssf/2009/09/chris_brown_and_his_bow_tie_ap.html
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(on his community service) Brown had told King in the interview, taped last week, that he "is willing to do anything they ask," but that "with what I'm capable of doing as far as influencing people, influencing kids, the youth, I can do a lot more to help the community other than picking up trash."
Can someone with better zinging abilities than mine use this in some way to zing the heck out of Chris Brown? I'd try, but I'm getting ridiculously :(((
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I think I smell 2Frost v. 2Nixon in the works.
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I love his reaction to the situation: "It's just like, wow." You didn't witness a broom standing up by itself, Chris. You beat the crap out of your girlfriend. It's more than "Wow."
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"what's the deal with the whole bow tie thing?" - Larry David
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"You know who else probably wished they had their mom and lawyer with them? Rihanna, when she was in that car, getting beaten up."
First time I've ever had to put my hand to my gaping mouth and laugh through shock and stupefaction. That's what I like about you, Videogum.
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Geragos defended Scott Peterson. Nuff Said.
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Personally, I'm thrilled that every attempt this douchebag makes to rehabilitate his image just backfires and culminates with the world calling him an even bigger douche.
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P.S. going to my parents' house in Richmond for the long weekend. I sincerely, sincerely hope that I see chris brown picking up trash on the side of the road.
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What's homophobic about calling someone a 'little bitch'?
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The guy raping the other guy in prison is straight and manly; the guy getting raped is "gay" and a "little bitch"
That's all i got
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Yeah, pretty much. It all goes back to men (I mean, mankind in general) thinking that being thought of as weak, or a women, is an insult. It gets really :( if you think about it too much.
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What's going on with Seriousgum today? I woke up from a nap ready for fart accidents and instead found everyone with their serious pants on.
But, real talk, you guys: this latest stunt of Chris Brown's is appalling. You deserve everything you're getting Chris Brown, and so much more. Picking up trash is too good for you. Oh, and Mr. Lawyer Guy: GO HIDE IN A CAVE. Boo at all of them. Boo!
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i like that one song where he say's he's "parking lot pimpin in my donk" and i dont even know what that means. ai yai yai.
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That's his M.O. He talks nonsense so you don't know what he's saying. For example, that interview was him saying, "I did it. So what? Bitch had it coming." So the lyrics you just quoted are him telling you that he likes original Pinkberry with Captain Crunch, y'all! Ugh, I don't know if I just said what I meant...I think the M.O. is working. Fuck.
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Is "Chris Brown is a little bitch" going to become the new "Chris Brown has AIDS"?
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yay, corporate casual jokes!
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I thought Kenny Powers was Professor Photos?
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it's a big university. it's possible there are two.
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okay, potentially unpopular question, but here goes...
a lot of people have said that CB and RhiRhi had a history of getting into violent fights, with her slapping him and him shoving her and plenty of grossness back and forth. big ew. obviously him beating her a bunch is shitty and his being a weasel about admitting wrongdoing is pathetic; that's not up for debate.
but i think it's interesting (unfair? myopic? something else?) that chris brown is a monster for beating up his girlfriend, because he's stronger than her, while no one is really concerned about the fact that she was having hulk-smash freak outs, too. if he had been the one with bruising and cuts, would we think she was a monster, too?
just interested in people's thoughts. (prepared for cricket noises)
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There's no (apparently alleged) police photos of Chris Brown's face heartbreakingly mutilated. So until then, he IS the monster.
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i dunno.. is there a difference between an adult being hit by the puny little fists of a child? and an adult using their own adult fists on that child? you're most definitely judged by the damage that you do..
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Yes, because women are children, and men are grownups. Gotcha.
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Ok, I appreciate you playing devil's advocate (no sarcasm) and your My Neighbor Totoro icon (no sarcasm), but there's a huge chasm between slapping and what Chris Brown did to Rihanna that night. A summation of the report from TMZ is below. I was only going to pick the most awful, but it all fucking sucks.
This wasn't some mutual face-slapping gone horribly awry, over in the blink of an eye. This was a calculated, sustained and brutal assault. He didn't stop when she began pass out because he was choking her - he told her he was going to kill her.
"The victim said she became enraged and slammed both of her fists against the dashboard on the passenger side of the car they were in. She reported that the defendant then pulled the vehicle over and reached over her with his right hand. He opened the car door and tried to force the victim out."
According to the report, Brown was unable to shove Rihanna out of the car because she was wearing a seatbelt.
The report continues, "When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against the passenger window of the car. "
"The victim then faced the defendant and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then continued driving."
"As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand."
Rihanna told cops the "assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter over her clothing and the inside of the car."
Rihanna told cops after Brown "stopped his first assault .. she looked in the mirror and saw her eye beginning to swell.
[Brown] looked at [Rihanna] and said 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'"
Rihanna told police she tried to call her personal assistant, but she didn't pick up -- but Rihanna says she "pretended to talk, saying, 'I'm on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.'"
Rihanna says she pulled the act "because she did not want to get beat anymore."
But after Rihanna's fake phone conversation, she claims Brown "looked at [Rihanna] and said, "You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I'm really going to kill you!"
Rihanna told cops that Brown unleashed a second wave of punches, "during which time [Rihanna] interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face." He continued to punch her on her left arm, which caused a contusion on her left tricep.
At that point Rihanna tried texting her assistant. Brown threw the phone out of the car, stopped the vehicle and Rihanna then tried opening her door to get out, but Brown sped off and the door shut with Rihanna inside.
Brown placed Rihanna in a headlock while he drove, then bit her on her left ear. The car eventually stopped and Rihanna took the keys out of the ignition, and Brown began to punch her again in the face and arms. He placed her in a headlock and started applying pressure to her carotid artery. She couldn't breathe and began to lose consciousness. She tried freeing herself, and Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her.
Rihanna took off her shoe and tried breaking the passenger window, and he continued to punch her.
Eventually, Brown got out of the car. Rihanna opened the door and continued screaming. Brown began punching her again. He got back in the car and screamed "Where are my f***ing keys?" He got out, looked for the keys in vain, and when he could not find them removed several CDs and walked away.
Officers were called and observed numerous contusions and abrasions to Rihanna's face and forehead, as well as bruising on her left arm. There were other injuries as well.
Investigators determined Brown was wearing a large ring on his right hand which caused several of Rihanna's injuries.
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Ah shit sorry. I forgot there's no auto-formatting on the html here. Perhaps it's better that the account of the attack is unreadable anyway. :(
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i do not in any way contest the fact that he's a pig and his behavior was completely unforgivable. in my ideal world, there is an island for every type of criminal, where they can run themselves and just eat each other, so send him to brutal, abusive monster island.
my thoughts were more related to the way things can escalate in situations. my 13 year old stringbean of a nephew is being bullied by some older girls, who have been shoving him and stuff, and my first instinct was that if they're bigger than him and they're being physical with him, he should hit them back to defend himself. but where does it end? they shove him, he punches one of them, they all punch him, he brings brass knuckles to school, they try to set his hair on fire with a lighter and aerosol hairspray. you know? and, even though he's smaller and younger than them, they're girls, so is it acceptable for him to defend himself in that way?
obviously, the greater burden of controlling one's oneself is most heavily on whoever is physically able to do the most damage, and obviously going WAY past self-defense into a brutal beating is the wrongest, and obviously it's not appropriate to say she was asking for it by being a little bit punchy and slappy herself. and it's possible he was just a ladies' face-destroyer waiting for an opportunity to git r' done, absolutely.
i was just curious if people felt like it would be as abhorrent if he had some terrible pictures floating around of damage done by her. like with the shamwow guy and the hooker! he ended up really messed up by her! is the monsterest in that situation? or are they equally monsters, since they both did a lot of physical damage to each other?
(to be honest, i'd never read the full details of the damage CB did. it was totally stomach turning. not in a 'you shouldn't have posted that" way. just in a 'that was disgusting and sobering' way.)
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OT: I think The ShamWow guy looks like mcnulty in those photos.
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Obviously spousal abuse is terrible either way, but the social rule that men don't hit women is usually pretty instilled in even the biggest scumbags, which makes it more shocking when it does happen.
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I read an interview that she did before the "beating heard round the world" where she smashed a glass bottle on her younger brothers head! So when I first heard about the story I wanted to hear all the facts about it first. I still think this was a coke fueled crackhead fight. Also I am so mad at his mother. Just like Michael Jackson's mother her refusing to think of her child first has allowed for hurt and pain go on. Chris please man up and stop acting like a little bitch.
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Crackhead fight?
Excuse me?
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He just wanted to dress like Easter, because forgiveness.
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Why can't Larry King be old AND crabby like Dave Letterman? Then he would have said "You don't know what to think? If you heard Jay-Z did these things to Beyonce, what would you think?"
Dude acts like he just woke up from being roofied! "Oh man, that's crazy what the police report says this OTHER Chris Brown did...cuz that's not the real Chris Brown. Like, wow. I don't know what to think." Golly, sir, me and my bowtie would never exhibit such uncouth behavior. Again. And get caught."
p.s. did he beat the smart out of her??? She wants him to not be punished.
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Selective Memory Loss is a debilitating condition that effects all of us no matter how many blue sweaters one buys.
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What I find alarming is the Big Picture Planning - Brown is a young guy, and knows anything on public record is on record forever. Is he trying to associate these conciliatory public announcements with ridiculous outfits? Peewee Sinbad IS NOT EQUAL TO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaVOoGMpTN8
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"Tonight on Larry King we are going to be talking to Chris Brown, also known as the Godtfather of Soul..."
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