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June 9, 2009

Kathy Griffin Is (Still) A False-Modesty Factory

thumbnail icon: Kathy Griffin Is (Still) A False-Modesty Factory

Chug chug chug! Kathy Griffin can't stop won't stop with the ridiculously insincere self-deprecation! Working overtime!

In an interview with the AP today to promote the fifth season of her Bravo TV show, which is still called My Life on the D-List despite its ongoing success and its star's ever-increasing media prominence, Kathy Griffin continued to insist that the name was appropriate, and that she was still on the D-list, because that's her schtick, and she's got to keep making MILLIONS OF DOLLARS off of something.

AP: It's hard to believe you're still on the D-list.

Kathy Griffin: I have proof although I'm flattered at the suggestion that I could even be a C-minus. Recently, I was on tour and they delivered me a sandwich and it said Taffy Griffin. Now, I'd like to think that's maybe what they thought my stripper name was, but no. My name was on the marquee. Sold-out show. Taffy Griffin. I'm on the D-list where I belong.

Right. Someone answering phones at a sandwich shop misheard what one of your personal assistants said to them on a terrible Blackberry connection and instead of assuming that they were making a sandwich for a celebrity, which you are, they simply wrote down what they thought they heard, because minimum wage isn't worth worrying about that shit. Then the sandwich was delivered to you backstage at a sold-out solo show because that's how not being famous works! Total proof that you don't live in a gigantic mansion in Hollywood and star in your own television show in addition to your numerous other television appearances, hosting of Awards shows that were created exclusively for you to host, and multi-million-dollar book deals, because that's just what it's like when you're super not famous. Totally. You are such a humble salt of the Earth. Keep trying, Kathy Griffin, you'll get there someday. You fucking liar.

Posted by Gabe at 11:30 AM in
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26 Comments

I can't help it, she makes me laugh.

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link at 06/09/09 11:35 AM  | Reply
Score = 10 Vote up Vote down

I think that somehow disqualifies you from receiving social security.

Posted by: DanBlurns profile link  in reply to  Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood's comment at 06/09/09 11:47 AM  | Reply
Score = 9 Vote up Vote down

Thats cool, I don't plan on living that long. ::Puts sunglasses on, turns around and walks away from explosion::

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link  in reply to  DanBlurns's comment at 06/09/09 11:56 AM  | Reply
Score = 39 Vote up Vote down

Sure! Gabe can officiate right?

Posted by: Josh is like Germany Ambitious and Misunderstood profile link  in reply to  Ashley's comment at 06/09/09 12:51 PM  | Reply
Score = 7 Vote up Vote down

Meh, I really don't find her that despicable. I mean her comedy is kind of not for me because I don't care about celebrities as much as she does but I don't really see a reason to be morally offended by her schtick, which is what it is. I mean she did start on the D-list and she's decidedly moved up from that, but what, is she supposed to change the name of her show every season? I don't think she's denying that she makes money, I remember an early episode of hers where she mentioned how people sometimes tell her to her face that she's a lower grade of comedian because she will basically take any work she can get, but she just says "Yeah whatever, I live in a $3 million house in Malibu that I bought doing that shit." Plus she's been working for years and the majority of it was actual D-list work, so who can blame her?

Ugh I just got all soapboxy about Kathy Griffin. Sorry.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 06/09/09 11:50 AM  | Reply
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Although her eyes do look soulless.

Posted by: Carrie profile link at 06/09/09 11:50 AM  | Reply
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Ummmm... am I catching a hint of jealousy from you, Gabe?

Posted by: Udolpho profile link at 06/09/09 12:03 PM  | Reply
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Bless your Griffin hate. Though I must admit, I do find myself calling her Kathy Griffiths sometimes, but it's usually in the context of saying something like "Oh God, not another Kathy Griffiths show." Her fame is an enigma wrapped in an irritating riddle. Woe.

Posted by: Pantychrist profile link at 06/09/09 12:10 PM  | Reply
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Get ready to vote me down.

I like her. I went to one of her shows and she made me laugh. The first thing she said was, "Miley Cyrus is a whore." I can't argue with that. Yes, she is no longer D-List, but I love her mom and her mom's box of wine.

I'm sorry.

Posted by: Nicolina Marie profile link at 06/09/09 12:12 PM  | Reply
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I will stand by you. We will go down together, two captains sinking with our red-headed, attention-seeking, shrill-voiced ship. Be strong.

Posted by: Funtastik profile link  in reply to  Nicolina Marie's comment at 06/09/09 12:26 PM  | Reply
Score = 15 Vote up Vote down

Thank you. Your support means a lot. Let's get a box of wine.

Posted by: Nicolina Marie profile link  in reply to  Funtastik's comment at 06/09/09 12:40 PM  | Reply
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I like her too. I'm not too into her gay stereotyping shtick but whatever. She's a human cartoon, and she is not afraid to humiliate herself. I have to respect that. Plus, while she was still for real D-List, she did a USO tour in the Middle East with a bunch of for real nobodies.

Posted by: sarah palin profile link  in reply to  Nicolina Marie's comment at 06/09/09 1:46 PM  | Reply
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This is the worst comment thread in the history of videogum. Turn this car around, we're not going to Disneyland.

Posted by: John Ham profile link at 06/09/09 12:32 PM  | Reply
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My wife and I rewatched Pulp Fiction last night. I'd forgotten she was in it and how bad she was, even for the single minute she's on screen. But the weird thing: I can't figure out if her performance is a bad performance, or if all my years of disliking her have translated into retroactively making me hate her one minute in a movie I like.

Posted by: booferama profile link at 06/09/09 12:47 PM  | Reply
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heh i'm gonna go watch pulp fiction after work so I can watch her got shot

Posted by: charles  in reply to  booferama's comment at 06/10/09 2:45 PM  | Reply
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They probably wrote Taffy because of how FUNNY SHE IS! She really cracks up those sandwich shop workers! (She doesn't) That's why they call her LAFFY TAFFY! (They don't)

Posted by: Beardzoid profile link at 06/09/09 1:02 PM  | Reply
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taffy griffin is a strong black woman.

Posted by: kathleen11 profile link at 06/09/09 1:03 PM  | Reply
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I like her. I don't apologize. She's like leather chaps. Gays for the most part like her. Straights for the most part don't. It's weird.

I don't actually get the leather chaps thing, but I make up for it with Kathy Griffin and ::ducks rotten fruit:: Margaret Cho.

I'm not criticizing. I came to love this site for Gabe's venom, and it's what keeps me coming back! Spew on, brother.

Posted by: Anthony profile link at 06/09/09 1:10 PM  | Reply
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Gays like her and straights don't? Because those aren't huge categories or anything. If we're going to vastly generalize, let's say straight MEN don't like her, like this Gabe fellow.

Posted by: Whyareyouyelling profile link  in reply to  Anthony's comment at 06/09/09 2:09 PM  | Reply
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Oh dear. It seems she and I have in common the tendency to reuse our jokes. Ok for THAT I'll apologize.

Posted by: Anthony profile link at 06/09/09 1:29 PM  | Reply
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minimum wage really isn't worth worrying about that shit.

Posted by: longom profile link at 06/09/09 1:32 PM  | Reply
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I have never really cared about her one way or another, but her comedy special was on Bravo last night. I was struck by how much she looks like Andy Dick in a red wig. And I could not look away.

Posted by: elaine benes profile link at 06/09/09 2:59 PM  | Reply
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(Serious comment ahead...) The premiere last night was good, and her interaction with Bette Midler and Toni Basil demonstrated how she actually is still a lower grade of celebrity (though on her way up, and learning from the comediennes who came before her). She was even sincere for a couple of minutes, and I really enjoyed hearing Bette tell stories from her life. Looking forward to Lily Tomlin next week.

Posted by: Al at 06/09/09 3:00 PM  | Reply
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i have a gay friend who once didn't hook up with a guy because he found out the guy liked kathy griffin.

THE BALLS ARE IN YOUR COURT, GAYS. ONLY YOU CAN USE YOUR GENITALS TO TRICK OTHERS INTO HAVING DECENT TASTE.

Posted by: Johnny profile link at 06/09/09 3:02 PM  | Reply
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Whoa whoa whoa calm down. EVERYONE in showbiz is exactly the same.

Posted by: Anono profile link at 06/10/09 1:49 PM  | Reply
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