Are You There God? It's Me, A Crappy '80s Puberty Video
Put away that bottle of Jolt Chest Hair Grower, and stop carrying around tampons that you yet to have a use for. The older version of yourself is here to tell you you are totally going to grow up to be cool! (Or "cool"). Thumbs up for inappropriate erections!:
Bonus: dancing around with the puberty teacher at the end. The only thing that would make this better is if it were Christian. (The Christian puberty book they gave me, for example, contained the 7th-grade-legendary, highly quotable line "What a miracle of God the scrotum and testicles are!") We can all laugh now because it's over. (Via Everything Is Terrible.)
Posted by Lindsay at 1:15 PM in Instructional Videos
Tags: Puberty
1:17
Why did i never learn that women get telepathic powers after puberty? I feel like my sex education failed me.
But on a more serious note, having no hair on your chest does make you "not the greatest." Its dangerous to be filling the heads of our children with such lies.
Score = 3
Could've used a NSFW tag.
Now everyone at my school thinks I'm a child molester.
Score = 9
I'm going to be a health teacher JUST so I can show this video to kids in 20 years.
Score = 3
Kids these days, they sure have a lot of time to stand in front of the mirror and do ridiculous things! Rock Star!
Score = 5
The naked girl to woman graphics were highly unexpected and rather strange to put in for only a couple of seconds.
I think somebody just wanted an excuse to draw a naked girl to woman progression.
Score = 2
I'm always amazed by these kind of things. People have been going through puberty for, I don't know, all of human existence, and yet somehow we've managed. Then someone in the year 1984 freaks and thinks "kids needs a puberty PSA that nonchalantly invokes time travel to get through this BEAUTIFUL MYSTERY!"
Oh, almost forgot, obligatory videogum time travel meme: involuntary erections are my constant!
Score = 5
The puberty video i had to watch in middle school, at one point involved naked cartoon kids walking along a rainbow while (not one word of a lie here) dismembered penises wearing groucho marx glasses flew all around them.
I'm just saying. Even Neo would've taken the blue pill for this rabbit hole.
Score = 12
I found little Sarah's confusion over her morning wood at the beginning of the video to be particularly compelling.
Score = 16
Wait 'til those kids learn about Femskins!
Score = 5
He never answered the boy's question about the erection, what IS he supposed to do?!
He just gave him a thumbs up.
Score = 1
EXACTLY, he was like "I know how you feel!" I would NOT be relieved by that, I would actually freak out at the fact that now I'm supposed to get boners at all times and there's nothing I could do about it.
Score = 0
When I grow up, I want to be a "puberty teacher."
Score = 2
What the HELL is going on in the beginning?! Does the girl have morning wood? Are there puberty fairies lurking under the covers? That was terrifying!!
Score = 0
Who is the kid? He looks really familiar. Is it Scott Foley?
Score = 0
I love how flamby the little boy dances during the breakdown, then just teasingly touches the older version of himself's chest. Shades of homoeroticism much?
Also isn't the older sarah one of the daughters from that Nell Carter show?
Score = 1
"Sometimes I have to wait until everybody else leaves the room..." To get an erection?
Score = 4
It's been removed by the user. :(
Score = 4
It was removed on youtube but I found it here
http://everythingisterrible.com/
under "who am I now"
enjoy.
Score = 0
As a future gay man, he obvi doesn't need to worry about chest hair - you shave all that shit anyway. And the thumbs up as a solution to an erection can get you arrested in most states.
I only got the Calisa Flockhart Vomiting In Jars and Hiding Them in the Closet Video for Health Class. :(
Score = 0