True Blood: Wow, What A Terrible Season Finale
What happened? Not what happened on the show because of all the exciting mysteries, but literally what happened? That was obviously not a season finale. Was it because of the Writers Strike? Because that ended a billion years ago. Get it together HBO. I know you're not TV, or whatever, but you're kind of TV. Even Entourage had a proper season finale, and Entourage is retarded. It's normal for a season finale to have big cliffhangers, but that's just it. Last night's cliffhangers all seem relatively small. Certainly not any bigger than when Vampire Bill might have been burned up in that house, or when Vampire Bartender was about to eat Sookie.
So, as of last night, the moderate cliffhangers are that we don't know who Marianne is. We don't know if Bill killed Lafayette. We don't know what the big deal is about the teenage vampire nightmare that the Vampire Sheriff couldn't handle. We don't know why Detective Andy Bellefleur has a dead body in his car, whose body it is, and also why Detective Andy Bellefleur won't give it a rest with Jason Stackhouse. We don't know why Jason Stackhouse thought that the creepy church magazine was so boring and yet was converted to their entire mission the moment he heard the word "miracle." And we don't know why no one will murder Tara.
But we do know this, if you have been on the fence about whether or not this show as the most ridiculous thing on television, this scene should lay that to rest:
Murder is scary and everything, but when the dramatic climax to your entire season has to involve a shape-shifting puppy, a sun-burned vampire, and tricking someone who is telepathic by THOUGHT LIES, you have problems.
Although THIS is probably the most dramatic reveal of all time:
Oh no, not the CAJUN DIALECT FOR ACTORS AUDIO CASSETTE!
This show is so ridiculous, but I admit that I am glad it's been picked up for a second season. Somehow I just don't feel like we've finished the journey of making fun of this show. There's more to make fun of!
Probably two seasons will be enough, though. Two seasons will be plenty.
Posted by Gabe at 1:15 PM in Hate-Watching
Tags: Alan Ball | Anna Paquin | True Blood | Vampires
i love this show! it is the worst, but at the same time the best.
three things that bug me and weren't mentioned are
1. the fake screams let out by tara and sookie when they saw the foot fall out of balfour's car (SPOLIERS - if they just killed off lafayette, i will be pissed. he is my second favorite character).
2. sam figured out that renee was the killer because he smelled renee on the dead waitresses sheets. why was sam sniffing the dead waitress' sheets. was he just being a good citizen by doing some detective work?
3. why did renee have to kill the grandma? oh, sookies not home? well, then i guess i have to kill you.
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It's a good thing there were so many empty, open graves in that graveyard. And tons of shovels.
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main concerns for season 2:
- more jessica (when did she get so hot?)
- more cousin terry (and his politician induced seizures other other terryisms)
- more eggs benedict (why did they wait until the last episode to introduce that steaming pile of man?)
- LAFAYETTE BETTER NOT BE DEAD!
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True Blood is one of maybe five shows I feel the need to semi-regularly watch, so I can't quite jump on the hate train even when the evidence of its badness is this overwhelming.
I think the problem lay with entrusting primo genre material to a writer-showrunner who has never demonstrated either an aptitude for, or even a previous non-professional interest in, genre material. He doesn't know the rules of junk, so he doesn't know how to make junk succeed on its own terms, and he often thinks he is transcending junk when he is in fact merely meeting--or failing to even meet--junk's most basic narrative requirements. And that dissonance provides lots of unsympathetic lulz from us viewers, because even we idiots on our couches know better what works in the genre than the show's own overseer. See also Tim Kring of "Heroes."
Whereas "Lost" is an example of a show written by such junk-encyclopedic fanboys, it actually thinks it's art and is therefore insufferable.
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The kitchen-sink writers at Lost are making better TV than the creators of Heroes and True Blood because the intersection of genres is a more viable route than simply rehashing the same genre stuff that's been around for decades. Watchmen (the graphic novel) is also a good example of successful genre-melding.
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I LOVE this show but I also LOVE to read Babe ripping it a new one each week – win win! I am so glad Bill’s not dead, but I have a feeling that Bill needing to be a vampire daddy to Jessica will be a deal breaker for Sookie, who has no patience for such things. Oh, and yes, I also think Bill "Fed" on Lafayette, and that was his leg hanging out of Andy’s car. What is up with that? Can't wait for Season Two!
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I agree with you ab!
1. Their screams were absolutely terrible! They need to work on their schocked reactions.
2. Sam had smelled the dead waitress' sheets before to try to help catch the killer. I just don't know why he had decided to randomly smell tRene Lenier's vest though. That was freaky.
3. Yeah that made no sense.
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I'm pretty sure that Lafayette was in the car at the end because he was painting his toes red in the previous episode. This is really annoying since he was the best/most believable character on the whole show.
Is Maryann trying to be shapeshifter which is what she was doing with the pig and the seizing body? Why would you chose a pig of all things to turn into? Why does Maryann need black people to help her in the quest against Sam?
I'm pretty sure Jason is taking the WORST crown from Tara. Everything about his character is so annoying and random. If he wasn't so friggin' hot he would be #1 on my death wish list.
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I still give the worst crown to Tara. Jason was close early on, but Tara's got that locked down.
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I wish we could just get rid of the whole cliched Vampires-with-Boners thing. They are pallid and cold and lifeless, and yet, they walk around with painful erections? Everyone knows that most vampire penises would have rotted/fallen-off right away.
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That was really the most anti-climatic season finale I've ever seen. We've already known who the killer was for an entire week and then he gets killed before half of the show is over. How exciting!
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Don't forget: Who moved the sheriff's car?? Oooooooooooooh, ominous.
If they killed Lafayette over Bill, I'm so kicking someone's ass. He was the main reason I stuck around. THAT MAN WAS BRILLIANT.
...Although I may stick around now to perve on Eggs Benedict. Mmmmmmmmm. (wow out-of-context wrongness)
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Who did move the sheriff's car?
It was pretty funny how obvious they made it that Rene was the killer. I think the overriding problem with the show is that the producers, writers, whoever treat us like we're stupid. I kind of enjoy that in some sick way. If the show got smart all of a sudden, I'd probably miss the camp.
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true blood is obviously written by vampires for vampires. sort of a spoof on human beings. this would explain why the plot thins like bad blood. they (the vamps) must have fed on the producers after the first episode. has anyone seen allan ball lately?
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All good comments. My own observations, guesses:
1. I think Maryanne is a werewolf. We haven't seen on of them yet, but Sam seemed to know all about them (and he and Maryanne knew eachother). I think she's the one who went after Lafayette, whose painted toenails are hanging out of the car at the end, I believe. Perhaps he's not dead, because he is too popular a character. Anyway, let's hope he's not now a werewolf himself.
2. My wife surmises that Eggs Benedict is actually Maryanne in disguise. We never did see the two of them in the same scene, right?
3. Agree about those awful screams. After everything that Sookie has seen (vampire's entrails blowing up into her face, vampire biological material in coffins, cleaning grandma's and kitty's blood, etc. -- and she screams her head off because she sees a foot with painted toenails inside a car? Who wrote that scene? Fire that person.
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why all the hate, this show is ridiculous but soo good at the same time. anti-climactic? not remotely all major plot lines were taking care off and new, smaller ones were seeded. Kill tara? kill Jason? Tara is bad ass and has some of the funniest lines in the show. Jason, plays a total fool and knocks it out of the park everytime. This show sits perfectly between entourage and dexter and makes for sunday night to be the only time i can handle watching anything on TV.
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*spoliers*
if you would read the books then you would know a little about whats going on although i must admit they've added and changed a lot of things but it works. plus if you would just pay attention you would know whose foot was hanging out of the car at the end. someone thought it was arlene, please she is def not black! and maryann is def not a warewolf (if they go by the books) lol shes not human tho but thats obvious. i thought that it was a pretty crappy finale but to each his own. whenever it finally decides to start back up you'll know. but until then go read the books!!! just google the sookie stackhouse series, duh. they are amazing and eric is SO much better in the books. he is very funny :-p one of my fav characters *end spoiler*
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